Double Trouble [AI:122 L:25]

American Idiot: 122, London: 25 (Stalls A5)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So we had hoped to do Band Day: The Sequel when the whole band was in, but unfortunately Alex was off on all our possible dates so we had to cut our losses and do it without him. Today was the appointed day and after an hour of drawing (badly) on my arm with an eyeliner pen and the addition of a few new accessories, I was all Nick-ed up and ready to go. We got to the Arts early and the four of us that had dressed up made camp at one of the tables. We saw a few people before our doubles arrived, including Dan (Alex’s dep) who said hi. Emma and Cellen also came over and we chatted about the Ghost tour, plus Newton waved hello & we gave Phil a little something when he arrived.

Nick and Tommaso were lateish, but fortunately not too late to stop. Nick laughed when he saw me, but it was a moment before he realised that we were all dressed up. Of course we showed them the full effect and it seemed to go down rather well. My ‘tattoo sleeve’ was a particular hit and when he clocked it Nick did more than laugh, striding across the room, grabbing my wrist and turning my arm this way and that to examine it fully. I was a little bit giddy after that…! He asked me if the cards were my date of birth too, but we’d never realised that’s what his meant and even after he said it, it didn’t fully click until we thought about it later. He’s got a joker followed by 1982, obviously the year he was born, only we were initially confused because we thought he meant date and he was born in May… Anyway, I admitted that I’d just gone for what I could draw on my arm with my left hand (A3A2 – and the 3 was meant to be a 2, but came out wrong so I had to make it a 3…!). It does make me question how old he thinks I am though…?! Anyway, once the shock of the costumes had worn off, we gave them their gifts and they certainly seemed fairly chuffed with them.

I gave Nick his bear first, so I don’t think Tommaso initially realised that he was getting one too. They also didn’t realise that they could keep them, because Nick checked. He thought they might just be for us to take on tour like the others we have. We assured them that the bears were for them and to add to that, I gave Nick a teddy-sized Danny shirt too! Plus on the subject of shirts, Nick was wearing his ‘f*** off, I’ve got enough friends already’ shirt, which made us laugh [Edit: I don’t remember why that was so funny now…]. He laughed a lot too though, it was wonderful :D. Although he did also say that he wasn’t sure how he felt about the bear not having any trousers or pants or something to that effect! Of course I made them promise to take photos with their bears when they were in costume too and Nick assured us they would. My Friend also gave them a miniature Jameson’s each and told them it was for the bears, although it was pointed out that the band would probably drink them instead. Nick joked they’d drink them during When It’s Time! They did seem really pleased though and they both smiled a lot, so yay!

So we started well for a band show; I’m sure Tommaso laughed at us watching Nick’s first Idiot stomp, then Nick looked at him for the second stomp, which was a bit novel. I love watching them interact and I was giddy again. It was nice, it’s been a while and I wasn’t sure that would ever come back. Plus Alexis’s redneck agenda thrust was very much back on it. It’s not been suitably thrusty in ages, so much so I’d stopped watching out for it (admittedly not helped by spending so much time on the other side of the auditorium), but it was f***ing sexy this afternoon. Although just in case that wasn’t enough, he then did a pretty excellent job of catching my attention before City… When he walked past Nick, he did something that I couldn’t quite see, but looked very much like he was tweaking Nick’s nipple… He even seemed to push the fabric aside for better access. I might be wrong, but his hand was definitely in that vicinity, plus it has become something of an Alexis signature move. Anyway, whatever he did Nick certainly seemed to enjoy it…! There were faces, it was hot. And the only thing better than one hot boy is two hot boys ;). Alexis was clearly on a roll today as he then sat on Newton’s shoulders and made giddy up motions with his arm, before quite ardently asking if Newton needed a tissue following his rainbow drop crescendo. It all made me giggle rather a lot, I love it when he plays.

It’s worth noting that watching Lucas pop his head round the corner to eavesdrop in Tales is particularly hilarious from that angle, since his body isn’t hidden so it’s not as obvious what he’s doing. I was also rather entertained when Lucas told Amelia off for repeatedly hitting him with her bag. I couldn’t see her face, but judging from her posture she was both amused and chagrined over the reprimand. Also, at some point in the last few weeks Newton has tweaked his pre-Holiday bragging a bit and I really like it. He admits his mum leant him the cash in a really small voice, looking all abashed, then adds ‘that f***ing bitch’ in a louder tone, but with an erk sort of expression, like he’s trying to be cool, but not quite sure he’s managed it. There was then a bit in Holiday when Nick and Matt seemed to have something of a ‘how low can you go’ competition and crouched down so far the heads of their guitars were practically touching the floor. It was rather awesome (although not as awesome as the thrusting. Hmph).

There was no Jemma or Karina today, so I’d wondered who’d do Favourite Son and it turned out to be Charlotte, Alice and Lawrence, so that was new and interesting. Although Charlotte is a girl, so I still spent more time watching Lawrence (and Alexis, obviously. I love how he’s different every time. One of my favourites is when he copies Alice doing one of the arse wiggly moves). There was then a bit of amusement on the toilet front; when Lucas dug inside it for the pills in St Jimmy, he ended up pulling out what appeared to be a spare heroin kit first, which he looked at in confusion before discarding. Then when Newton flushed it prior to letting Amelia in, the sound effect didn’t fire. He just shrugged and carried on as normal, only it finally did fire ages later, well after he’d already walked away… It was really f***ing funny :P.

We joined in with the bands’ WTF arms in response to the band’ll suck line, although My Friend pointed out that I couldn’t do the eyebrows, which is sad but true. Although even if I could, I’d never look as hot as Nick :P. The boys then mightily entertained me in Rebel with their choreography. They’re really feeling it now! Also Llan cracked me up when he said something like ‘let’s go get smaaaaashed’. As for Last Night, Matt knocked one of the PlayStation controllers off the sofa at the end and it fell to the stage with a crash. Lucas dealt with it by pretending to look scared, whilst gazing cautiously up at the sky and muttering about it raining controllers or something. It worked really well, especially in the context of him having just injected, and also made me giggle.

Poor Emma had to do Too Much on her own, but despite having been off most of the week, she still sounded ace and I love the way she acts it when she’s by herself. She didn’t do Jemma’s riffs at the end, which she apologised for at SD, but she really didn’t need to! It still sounded fab and she has to look after herself. My Friend and I mimed drinks at each other at the start of When It’s Time (referring back to Nick’s joke before the show), which entertained us both, then I leaned as far over as I could in Enemy and I could just see the lick. Yay. Plus it seems Lucas running his hand down Nick’s face is a thing now, which is really quite wonderful. He did it again this afternoon and Nick stuck his tongue out, I think catching Lucas’s hand in the process, then pulled a kissy face at Lucas. I’d be jealous if it wasn’t so hot watching the two of them together :P.

Lucas appeared to be doing a raptor impression when he came on in Letterbomb, which cracked me up and was one of the first notes everyone gave me when we got out of the theatre. I love Lucas in that bit. Well, I love him in every bit, but that bit is extra funny, especially when I never know what he’s going to do next. On a random note, I happened to look over in Rock GF and noticed them raising the East 12th Street office block back into place, hanging from the rafters behind the ‘punk will always be better than dubstep’ pillar. Which is probably a rather uninteresting fact, but I found it kinda cool.

In Home Again, Alexis seemed thoroughly unimpressed with Will’s baby, although I only noticed after Matt walked away. I was later told that he was doing it before that too. Then in Whatsername, Matt stuffed the cushions up his tshirt then buried Alexis’s face in it, who continued to be unimpressed and seemed very happy to escape when Heather appeared! Finally, at the start of Good Riddance I did a bit of Nick-esque stomping, but I might have to do the double armed ‘come on’ later, just to see if it makes him do it too. He’s still only using one hand and it’s very disappointing. I mean obviously it’s still hot, but it’s not even close to the same level as the two armed version. Other than that Lucas and Newton played an imaginary game of tennis with their guitars (it’s been a while since I saw any of them do that), so that was amusing to watch!

After the show we finally saw Rob, so called him over and gave him his bear & whiskey. Nick came over too, so I got a photo with him and there was a bit of faffing as we needed a pose that showed off both of our right arms. He picked the position in the end, with me standing in front of him, and he also said that I had to put my hand in my pocket…! We’re fairly sure we’ve never mentioned that as part of the Nick pose, so I guess that didn’t come from us?! I pointed out the smiley face I’d drawn in the sun, which made him laugh, but then according to my friends he apparently laughed a lot, I just couldn’t see him very well from that angle. He got My Friend to take a photo of us on his phone too! Anyway, the one part of his sleeve I couldn’t work out was the banner on his inner bicep. I knew it said something, but I couldn’t find a clear photo, so I couldn’t include it (and I figured it would have just come off on my shirt anyway, so it was probably for the best). Today was obviously the perfect opportunity to bring it up, so I asked him what it was and he showed me. It says ‘Garden Of England’ and he asked me if I got it… I did not get it, but fortunately someone else in the group knew that it’s a name for Kent and said so before I had to admit to not getting it and now I get it! FYI, Kent is where he’s from as well as his name. We also discussed his t-shirt choice and he said he’s had it for 12 years and admitted that he doesn’t buy new clothes [Edit: Except now he does… He hardly seems to wear any of his old shirts any more and I really hope that wasn’t our fault for making such a thing of his wardrobe… We love his shirts!]. He also still has the Facebook stalker shirt and the (saucy) yellow one with the pattern on it (we asked, he didn’t just volunteer that information out of the blue), but apparently it’s gone bobbly even though it’s relatively new.

We also saw Tommaso, who came over for photos too and we had a bit of a chat about what’s next for him. He’s taking some time off immediately after Idiot, but he’s doing the panto in Liverpool this Christmas and maybe some gigs in between. He’s in a band and he reckons they’ve got nearly enough material for an album, but they don’t have a singer at the moment. He also said he might go to Amsterdam in November with Nick and Rob… and I’m worried for them already! Anyway, we showed him a sneak peak of Alex’s bear (who came along for the photo ops, even though we knew Alex wasn’t around) and he asked if I had the ‘Garden Of England’ part of Nick’s tattoo [Edit: I can’t remember if that was a coincidence or if he was part of the other conversation… I suspect the former?].

So… my notes stop there and I’m not sure how that happened. I don’t believe for a second that we didn’t see at least some of the cast afterwards, but two years after the fact, I obviously can’t remember, so I guess I’ll have to finish this one here…

Peace, love and laughter,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 11/1/19]

Sexy Times [AI:121 L:24]

American Idiot: 121, London: 24 (Stalls BB10)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So I was originally meant to be in with My Friend tonight, but when she decided not to come, I sold her ticket to a mate of mine who loves theatre, but I wouldn’t consider him a stagey. It’s a shame he didn’t get to see a full cast though, as there was no Alexis (although I knew that already) plus Emma got sent home because of her tonsils. She only managed two weeks, bless. Anyway, before the show we were hanging around outside and not long after we arrived, Nick turned up. He did something of a double take when he saw me, because he thought I was wearing my Danny t-shirt, which I suppose is an easy mistake to make. Danny looks just like Robbie Williams in the Let Me Entertain You video… right?! Apparently the fact that it was a big black and white photo of a face was enough to create confusion :P. Anyway, I pointed out it was Robbie, so Nick added ‘in Kiss makeup’, then semi-explained it like I didn’t know Kiss did it first… Cheeky bastard. And since I’m discussing clothing, he was in his red and black shirt, which made me giggle 😛 [Edit: I have no idea why that made me giggle… Swoon? Yes. Giggle? Not a clue]. Anyway, we also saw Tommaso, although he was running late so didn’t stop and Alex, who waved when he popped out in costume to meet someone.

So I was making notes after the show as usual and desperately trying to remember all the tiny little details I always struggle to recall once it’s over. As ever, I (somewhat rhetorically in this case) asked my companions for assistance and the mate that came with me helpfully said ‘they sung, they pranced around a bit…’ and that is why he doesn’t blog… Fortunately, I did get a few things down and I have plenty to say, especially as I had something of a Lucas (and Cellen) show this evening and it was magnificent. I f***ing love Lucas! Have I mentioned that? Possibly not enough lately. I was back on the front row again after a lengthier than average absence and as much as I love the slips, I loved being back there, especially when I wanted to watch Lucas. It seemed a good day to do it too as without My Friend, I figured there would be no one to tell me if I missed Nick doing something especially hot and what you don’t know… etc. etc.. It didn’t quite work out like that, but I’ll come to that later.

So I started as I meant to go on and watched Lucas pretty much exclusively right through Idiot, even before his line. Well except for Nick’s second stomp that is (from 10 Lucas blocks my view for the first one, which seemed apt in this case!). I did then get a tad distracted by the band boys at the start of Suburbia, especially since I’m growing rather fond of the way Nick has started to cosy up to Tommaso until after the beer spray. He does it well before that though, I guess just to keep himself out of the way of the sofa, but I love it. I adore watching the two of them interact and it’s even better when they’re in such close proximity. I also particularly enjoyed it when Nick stuck his tongue out at Tommaso, only it was less 😛 and more like he was licking the air…?! Whatever it was, it was hot ;).

I was then mightily amused when my mate looked round at me when Newton yanked Matt’s trousers down, but I forgot to ask him about it after. I’m not sure what reaction he was expecting me to have! Although I was generally quite giddy today so I think it did make me smile more than usual. I’m not sure why exactly, but conversing with Nick before the show certainly helped. Still, I was giddy over Lucas appearing in the auditorium before it even started and I’ve not been like that in a long while, it was nice. Plus my mate winding me up about my giddiness just made me giddier. In retrospect, it’s hardly surprising I couldn’t take my eyes off Lucas in the early part of the show. I watched his City dancing too. I love his City dancing :D. On the flip side, we had a double cover show, but no Lukie on the bus. Sucks.

I actually watched the bus too, so I saw Charlotte covering Alice’s track (although we still had Karina for Ex Girl) and wasn’t taken by surprise when Llan drenched my mate and I with his ‘whiskey’ (my mate later complained to someone at stage door that it could have at least been real). Of course I still watched the band a bit; I continue to live in hope that the thrusting will make a triumphant return (there was a vague hint of it recently, I forget when, but it wasn’t how it used to be), plus there was no way I was going to miss Nick pushing open that fence, I mean f*** me…! Still, my grand plan to not watch Nick too much today backfired spectacularly when he leaned against the wall behind Matt. It’s such a new thing I’d forgotten I had to look out for it, so glanced up just a fraction too late. I caught the end of the lean, but it appeared that I’d just missed him licking something… I saw just enough of it to be sure it happened, plus I caught the aftermath and whatever it was he licked he didn’t appear overly enamoured with the taste, but I don’t know what he licked… Matt? Although it would have to have been Matt’s fabric covered shoulder, which would just have been weird…? Or his own arm… Which would kinda make sense, maybe? Especially with his reaction, I imagine it would have been rather salty… ;). I gather it was hot up there today, he was very wet…! So much so his whole tshirt was soaked through, not just the V at his neck and the bits under his guitar and strap (not that I notice these things… *ahem*). He’s hot when he’s hot, especially when he has that sheen on his arms. Er, what was I talking about…?! Ah yes, licking, that’s much safer ground… Anyway, I guess it serves me right for watching the cast for a change!

Back to Lucas and I know it’s not new, but I cannot get enough of his chest in Boulevard…! It’s just so ridiculously f***ing sexy and add that to the fact it’s still my favourite scene in the show… There was much swooning. And I really loved having a Lucas show. I feel like I’m missing things all the time I’m not looking at Nick because he’s somewhat unpredictable in the predictability of his swoonworthiness (I don’t think that makes sense, but what I mean is he’s always hot, but in different ways at different times), but I needed to redress the balance between my two favourite boys. Nick has been stealing my attention far too much lately. Anyway, aside from his generally awesome Jimmyness, Lucas muttered something that sounded like ‘don’t know why I’m Irish’ when he was hanging about waiting for Johnny to return from his tryst, but I didn’t catch whatever was before that, so I may have misheard, but either way it made me chuckle. He’s also back to multiple party whistles before the badges line, which he’s recently taken to shouting immediately after waking and jerking upright, only to suddenly notice Newton and catch a fright mid-sentence, which leads to him shouting the end AT Newton in a somewhat startled manner before laughing at himself in a very stoned sounding way. It’s been making me giggle.

Anyway on another note, it was just Lawrence and Karina in Favourite Son and I have no idea why?! I guess Jemma’s back might have been playing up or something, but Emma’s done it when necessary in the past, so I’m confused as to why Alice wasn’t on? And I can only assume that’s not a track Charlotte has rehearsed, since she wasn’t there either. Unsurprisingly I mostly watched Lawrence and Cellen, who made me laugh, and er, Nick… (I’m sorry, I can’t help myself! And Lucas wasn’t on stage!). So I think Nick’s silent scream bit that I mentioned yesterday was in Novacaine and he’s really f***ing sexy in that freestyle bit between the headbanging and the softer bit at the end. Not that the headbanging isn’t sexy. Plus the softer bit at the end is where he looks over at the sofa and down at the battlefield and looks horribly concerned about all the drama, which is also insanely sexy, so… General sexiness abounds in Novacaine plus he looked especially smoulderingly worried about everyone today, bless him.

Another thing I noticed yesterday was that Nick and Tommaso seem to have a bit of a side to side head shake move that they’ve added to their repertoire and it was especially evident in Rebel. Nick still does his usual side step choreography, but at the end of that sequence there was definitely a time or two when he and Tommaso did the headshakey thing, ending in them looking at each other. It was brilliant and Tommaso certainly seemed to be having fun with it. His grin was incredibly infectious! I also rather enjoyed it when Lucas jerked off his microphone again, plus Nick’s face when Lucas finished himself off was excellent, but hard to describe. I’m not sure shocked is quite the word, but it was in that ballpark. I think there was a raised eyebrow in there somewhere anyway. I’ll keep an eye out next time, purely for accurate record keeping purposes, you understand… :P.

Lucas kept saying something to Amelia in Last Night On Earth and I couldn’t quite make out what it was, but I think he was saying ‘kiss me’ and she was cheekily refusing, which was far cuter than it sounds. Especially when she did then kiss him (as usual) before she departed. Although I’ll confess there is still a part of me that hopes for the arm stroking and associated orgasms to return every single time I watch them together, despite the fact I can’t even remember the last time they did that. Although on the plus, Lucas ran his hand over Nick’s face again while Newton was climbing up for the letter. Nick even stuck his tongue out! Unfortunately Amelia walked across at just the wrong time so I only half caught it, but what I did see was hot as f***.

So I said that today was also a Cellen show and I’ve barely mentioned him since, however I did feel that I haven’t properly appreciated Cellen in ages, especially when he’s on for Tunny, I guess because I saw him so much he ceased to be a novelty as a cover. Anyway I’d intended to have an Alexis show today, since I was in a good seat for it, so decided not to change that plan and gave Cellen more of my focus than I have in a while. I really enjoyed watching him too; I love the gentler side to his Tunny. Plus between him and Karina, I very nearly cried in Guns. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them the whole song. And on a more superficial note, he looked really hot in the bike scene in Ex Girl, like he’d stepped out of Grease or something, only without the quiff and leather jacket. I actually had a bit of a moment, it was all very sexy.

So the last few bits and bobs; I mentioned the other day that Karina has thankfully got her blue and black wig back, but the new pink and black one reappeared today on Charlotte’s head, the poor thing! And speaking of Karina, she messed up the Boulevard choreography slightly in Whatsername and got the giggles, which made me giggle. I only noticed because I happened to be watching her and it was only a tiny mistake, but it still amused me :P. And speaking of being amused… Nick and Rob were messing around behind Alex at the start of Good Riddance and Alex was totally oblivious again, only Lucas was directly in my eyeline while I was watching them and he not only spotted me, but noticed my laughter. The trouble was, he clearly had no idea what was making me giggle and it wasn’t like I could explain, so he just looked confused and I kept giggling and then totally missed what was going on with the band after that because I was too busy grinning at Lucas… which seemed reasonable given the theme of the day. It was nice having him smile at me too, even if it was a rather bewildered smile. I’ve missed having someone look at me like that in GR. I miss Steve :(. Plus Lucas keeps doing the guitar thing now and I’m sure he didn’t used to do it so often, only he doesn’t look out at the audience when he does it so I couldn’t do it with him anyway… not that I’m sure if I want to. I miss doing it, but it’s such a Steve thing now, even if it wasn’t to begin with, I think I’d feel like I was cheating on him if I did it with someone else.

After the show, we saw Tommaso who mentioned how hot it was on stage and chatted a bit about his sister. She’s over doing some MT stuff, although he assured us it’s not his influence…! I told him that we met her last night and he explained that she’s seeing shows now. She was at Curious Incident tonight and he was very disappointed when he asked us what time it finished and we didn’t know! It’s clearly the week for special audience members though, cos Matt Harris was in tonight! He left while I was talking to Tommaso, but I caught his eye and he waved! I got giddy and then had to explain to Tommaso who it was, only he didn’t have a clue… I said he was Nick’s friend, to which Tommaso said ‘Nick who?’…! I mean really?! I added that he toured with Dave and Danny and was in a W&T episode, but that didn’t seem to help much.

The Matt of the Thorpe variety, I called over, but then I didn’t have much to say, so that went well. Still, at least I spoke to him and we briefly touched on it being weird that he’s back like this. Apparently he sits and does nothing a lot! Then when Cellen came out, he gave me hugs. I love him. I also told him that he nearly made me cry, so he was jokingly disappointed it was only nearly. He didn’t hang around for long though as he was going home to bed. He admitted he was a bit hungover today as he’d thought Alexis would be back.

When Alex appeared, he also talked about it being hot on stage and added that he had to keep taking big deep breaths. I asked if we’ll see him Sunday, but we won’t cos he’s off. He’s also off on 8th as he has gig with his band, as well as 22nd, so that totally f***s up our plans…! He also told me he’s learning the Ghost score to dep on the tour, which is cool for him, but rather sucks in terms of getting to see him again.

Tommaso came back over when Nick eventually turned up, only Nick was clearly looking for someone, so I told him Matt went that way. He half corrected me to ‘Matthias’ and it was only then that Tommaso realised who I’d been talking about earlier. Nick also talked about how hot it was on stage, but added that he was dripping so much he nearly slipped in it… Which sounded more enticing than it probably should have. Anyway, apparently in the band’ll suck bit, he had sweat in his eye so he was squinting. He illustrated his point by doing it again and complaining that he looked like a pirate… It was hot. Although on the subject of hot, he told me it was too hot to hug and I said he was getting one anyway [Edit: I have a note that says ‘he gave me a double thumbs up in question, so I got my hug’, but I don’t know what the question was… But clearly I got my hug and that’s the important thing]. Nick then went off to meet Matt(hias), while Tommaso went off to meet his sister, but as they parted Nick said he’s got a lie-in tomorrow, so Tommaso corrected his ‘see you at home later’ to ‘see you tomorrow, as it’ll be 4am’, which Nick agreed with, throwing in a cheeeers as he departed. I love it when he does that.

Of course when Rob came out I had to ask if he’d been hot too, since the other three said they were. He said Alex was melting or some such. He also said he couldn’t hear anything at the start, but otherwise it went well. I like Rob and feel like we never have anything to say. Meh. Anyway, I stopped Lawrence too and he paused to chat for a moment. We talked about the fact he’d slid on some blood in Jimmy and accidentally splattered my pal, not that she was complaining.

Llan was in a rush, but said a quick hi and Lucas chatted to a few people, then ran and just said a passing bye. I stopped him for a hug as he went and said I’d see him Sunday, so he told me he’d twittered me. I hadn’t had the notification through, but checked after he left and it turns out he’d DMed to say he had a meeting and wasn’t being rude and even added a selfie. I f***ing love him! He’s awesome. And I really need to stop letting Nick steal my attention so often!

Peace, love and sexy boys,
K xx

PS. During the proof read I realised I way over-used the word ‘sexy’ today, but since I had no intention of changing that, I figured I’d just use it for a title instead.

[Actual publish date: 23/10/18
Also, a slight addition to the saga of My Friend’s birthday card; As I said, Tommaso was running late before the show so didn’t stop, but assured me he’d get the card to me. He told me the band had all signed it yesterday, but he’d get everyone else to do it today. Then when I saw him again after the show, he explained they still hadn’t got everyone to sign as both he and Nick were late so they didn’t have a chance. He promised they’d get it done Sunday though and would save it for me until I was next in without My Friend.]

Begging For It [AI:120 L:23]

American Idiot: 120, London: 23 (L8or9)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

For once I got to the Arts a bit before My Friend and in the few minutes I was sat there by myself I saw and said passing hellos to Karina, Matt and Alexis. Tommaso also said hi and looked like he was going to go straight in, but then seemed to think better of it and came over to chat :). We swapped notes on our weekends and I asked if he’d had fun at the party (then had to confirm he was actually there… And also wondered if I was even meant to know about the party (at Nick’s), but Nick did post a whole bunch of stuff on instagram, so I assume it wasn’t a secret!). He said he had a good day off too, so I mentioned I like bank holidays and it transpired he knew I’d been to FriendsFest, although he’s never watched it…?! I ended up talking about belatedly getting some of the jokes that I didn’t understand as a kid. He asked if My Friend was coming, so I assured him that she was on her way and I thought she’d have been there by then. She finally appeared just after he left, by which point I was a bit giddy.

Tommaso then came back over a little later and we chatted again. We talked about him getting an actual day off and the bank holiday, plus talked about FriendsFest again and he asked if that’s where our Nick pose photos were from (which they were). He said his (in the band photo I took on Sunday) was unplanned or something like that. My Friend then suggested that we have a ‘who does the best Nick pose’ poll on Twitter, with Nick included. [Edit: I ended that note with ‘One of us does a better Nick pose than Nick!’, but I’m not sure who said it or even if it was a statement or a point for debate]. Anyway, we also saw Phil and chatted to him about his daughter coming to the show after which we finally got around to having our Fanclub meeting (the minutes can be found here). I think it was a good move, because the video watching made me even more giddy, so I was in a much better place to enjoy the show tonight than I have been recently.

So today was very much a Nick show. It’s been a while since we were left slips, or at least it felt that way given that last time was a Steve show. To be fair, it wasn’t exclusively a Nick show, I did get distracted by Lucas and Alexis at times, but I mostly watched Nick and for a while I didn’t think I’d have anything to say beyond ‘Nick was f***ing hot, the end’, but unsurprisingly stuff did happen and besides, Nick did do the occasional unexpected thing. For example, I happened to notice in one of the songs right near the beginning (the early part of Suburbia, maybe) that he seemed to be breathing really heavily; big, deep, slow breaths that left me torn between wondering if he was ok and swooning… It was really f***ing hot in a very inappropriate way. There was also a song, I’m not sure which, but it was one of the ‘good’ ones (in a Nick sense, Novacaine or Jimmy or Enemy or something), when Nick did a silent rock scream and that was dangerously enticing. Plus at one point My Friend muttered to me that she couldn’t stop thinking about his thigh muscles…! I wondered if I’d heard her right, but she confirmed it afterwards and I gathered it was related to all his crouching and lunging…!

So for the first time in what feels like forever, we had a full cast! Admittedly it still didn’t really feel like a full cast without Steve and My Friend glared at me when I dared to suggest it was to her, but still. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen 12 people filling that space and it looked really full! I’d forgotten how crowded the stage looks in Idiot when they’re all on! Admittedly Charlotte wasn’t on (although I saw her in the audience making notes), so I don’t know if it technically counts as a full cast or if she only goes on if someone is off, but it was a full cast to me. Aside from the Steve thing. Ugh. This shouldn’t be so complicated. So, on a completely uncomplicated note, Nick’s stomping was so loud I could hear it! He’s so sexy and manly. Rargh :P. Plus he pulled some great faces at Alexis when he passed him to get into position for City. There were lots of raised eyebrows.

So with Nick lamentably shut away behind the fence, I watched the boys in front of it instead. People kept tugging on Matt’s shoes until Llan actually removed one, then threw it back up to him, only Matt nearly missed and only just caught it between his calves. He’d only just got it back on when Amelia half pulled one off too, so Matt did the ‘I’m watching you’ hand move at her. They don’t half pick on Will! They used to do the same to Steve. Anyway, rather than just tearing open the packet of it’s-not-popcorn-any-more-but-I’ve-forgotten-what-they-replaced-it-with, Newton held it in front of himself and pretended to jerk off first, throwing the contents as his crescendo. It’s not the first time he’s done it I don’t think, but I’m not sure I’ve remembered to record it before. There was definitely a show when he held the packet in front of Alexis for a similar purpose and I liked Alexis’s face more :P. I’ve also noticed that Newton now grabs hold of Alexis trousers to pull himself up (before Alexis injured himself, Johnny used to sit by the wall so used the handle), so I’m hoping that at some point he pulls too hard.

I may have mentioned this before, but I was particularly amused when everyone was eavesdropping in Tales and Lucas hid behind the wall and just peeked out. From this angle, I could only see his head popping out and it made me giggle. Someone also seemed to make an odd noise at the end (when Llan usually whistles), which no one else seemed to register, but it really made me laugh. As did the moment when they were all tossing their bags back and forth in the climax of the song and Alice wasn’t paying attention, so a massive tote bag landed on her head. Oops! I then basically didn’t watch the bus at all in Holiday, but felt weirdly guilty about it, so kept briefly glancing down without really seeing anything, then looking back up at the band. There was a particularly stunning moment though, so it was well worth the focus; instead of leaning on Matt, Nick stretched out his arm and leaned against the wall behind him instead and fuuuu…! It was so hot. So hot. Have I mentioned how much I like the leaning?! And leaning with extended arm is even better, even if it’s left arm (the right armed opening of the fence at the start of Holiday is also still exceptionally hot).

My attention was a bit split in Favourite Son, so I’m not sure exactly what lead up to it, but Alexis ended up wearing Alice’s pompom headband. He then tried to stuff his beer and the remote control down his shirt in a manner that I could only assume was meant to symbolise boobs… It didn’t work very well, but it didn’t half make me laugh. My Friend was laughing too, but when I questioned her about it later, she couldn’t remember what was so funny, but hadn’t been watching Alexis, so who knows what the band boys were up to. I did glance up to see them laughing, but at the time I think I just assumed they were laughing at Alexis’s antics too. Anyway, there were shrieks in response to the confetti cannons and Tommaso looked delighted :P. Also, I think Lucas has lost the end of his whistle for the badges scene. He only had the one today, but it was really loud.

So the band’ll suck sequence was ALL in the eyebrows. While he was minding his own business in the build up to it, Nick ran his fingers over his brows, which made us laugh. Then when he was waiting for Newton he wiggled them and it just went on and on and on…! As for Rebel, I needed a lie down after that…! There was one moment when he dropped his head in an intriguing manner that made me think he was going to lick his guitar only to stop short… Tease! Plus his expression whilst watching Lucas jerk off his microphone was oddly appealing. Nick also had a thing with Matt, kinda like how he used to with Steve in Favourite Son; Matt was standing on the sofa and Nick got right up in his face with a full on rargh expression, then sorta bounced back into place looking almost chagrined, like he’d been told off? I wasn’t watching Lucas, so I can only assume there was something there that I missed which prompted Nick’s reaction, but it was epic! I felt that Nick has been missing having someone beg for it, so it was nice to see him have that back :P. In fact, something to that effect crossed my mind in Favourite Son when Nick was interacting with Tommaso, who incidentally definitely caught us reacting to something Nick did, although I’ve since forgotten what that was. We get busted by that boy far too frequently! Although I’m fairly sure Tommaso actually got to see some of the eyebrow action today, so I’m sure he can sympathise :P. Anyway, just in case all that wasn’t enough, the end of Rebel with the headrolling and headbanging and headshaking and so much f***ing RARGH very nearly did me in. Plus Nick was all shiny by that point and what with the collar bones standing out again when he does all the crazy head movements; he just looks so lickable… *ahem*.

On a rather different note, Cellen mis-threw the weed in Too Much Too Soon and it was so off that it landed on the pipe at the front of the upper level, behind the sofa and therefore totally out of Matt’s reach. Cellen’s so tall though that he just reached up and collected it as he passed, then climbed back up as usual… It made me giggle, but I think it does rather spoil the effect :P. And speaking of spoiled effects, the handlebars broke in Ex Girl again, so Alexis just dumped them on the floor and carried on. He was moaning at SD that it keeps happening, but to be fair, it’s already the second time I’ve seen it happen.

I watched Lucas quite a lot in Enemy, although not exclusively and obviously not until after the lick. I personally thought it was too short today, but the angle was so perfect it made up for it. Plus on the flip side, My Friend thought it was longer than usual…! I guess it’s all about perception. Anyway at some point around then the headphones fell with something of a clunk, but I didn’t even notice when they were removed, so whoever picked them up evidently did a good job of keeping it subtle. Stuff like that usually bugs me until it’s fixed, to the point that I frequently lose concentration and miss sections of dialogue because I’m so distracted by a misplaced prop (this is with regards to theatre in general, not Idiot specifically).

So the letter was particularly marvellous today because Lucas decided to stroke Nick’s face. Twice! And I don’t just mean brushing his cheek, I mean he stuck his whole hand right in Nick’s face and ran his fingers down over Nick’s features. Nick stuck his tongue out and appeared to lick Lucas as a result…. I think I died. And as if that wasn’t enough, I was writing up 119 the other day and was trying to find an appropriate word to describe Nick’s arm in Letterbomb. I still hadn’t come up with anything, but whilst watching that same moment today, the word ‘erotic’ popped into my head… Which really wasn’t the word I was looking for, but it worked for me…! It made me swoon and giggle in equal measures.

A last few notes; I don’t tend to watch Matt that much in September still, but I do love the way he cuddles his guitar at the end. It makes him look so young and vulnerable. On the flip side, I couldn’t stop watching Cellen in East 12th Street. He seemed to really be enjoying himself in that one and when he and Llan were putting the papers down in front of Newton, Cellen was throwing every other piece in Newton’s face instead, whilst sporting the most delighted grin. It was rather funny. I also just caught the end of him pulling a crazy face at us in Nobody Likes You, but I’d been watching Tommaso so I mostly missed it!

As for Whatsername; Alexis lay with head in Matt’s lap (it was very sweet) and kept throwing something up and catching it, but I couldn’t work out what it was. It looked something like a bloodied handkerchief, but that seemed unlikely. He then threw it at Emma when she came on, who was as unimpressed by the boys’ antics as ever. As for Nick, I felt he was very lacklustre in the early part of the Good Riddance clapping, but then made up for it a bit by singing along on his own. He seemed to be enjoying himself, it was cute. I was still a bit meh, but felt better than I have before. Lucas did the guitar thing again and I almost felt like I could bring it back, even without Steve, but I thought that would be going too far. My Friend and I pouted at each other instead.

We saw Cellen after, got hugs and chatted a bit about potentially still being drunk after his crazy weekend. We mentioned Nick’s instastory of him dancing, so Cellen explained that he was copying the victory dance that two of Nick’s housemates did. He didn’t say which, but one assumes they would have been Jack and Danny! Then a whole bunch of people came out at once, including Nick, but I half caught his eye a couple of time and I swear he then made a point of coming over to us, despite Cellen getting in his way. My Friend is convinced he was just leaving and we happened to be on his route, but meh to that. He totally came over. Anyway, I went in for a hug, but again I think he was going to give me one anyway and I’m pretty sure I’m right about all this too, because I’m normally the first to think the worst. Of course we asked him how the party was too and he said good, then muttered something about Dave and an epic wedgie. Only then he left with a ‘that’s a story for another time’… Hmm. I have zero expectations that we’ll ever hear it, but I’m still intrigued. Especially since Dave tweeted a photo of what looked like Nick with a badly torn pair of pants pulled right over his head… but who knows. Anyway, he left with Tommaso and Alex, but I don’t know why they were in such a rush. Alex then came back anyway because he’d forgotten something, but didn’t stop to chat then either.

On the plus, we chatted to Alexis for a bit and while we were with him, a girl came over to tell him he was ace and added that she’d seen it twice since she was the guitarist’s sister! Alexis, of course, said he (Tommaso) was awesome, but that we all like the bassist :P. In fact, he went on about that rather a lot as he walked down the street…! Anyway, [one or both (I can’t remember) of] the girls responsible for the pegs the other day were in, so there was much apologising and backtracking on both sides, which was rather sweet.

Amelia said a passing hi as she was leaving with her mum and one of her tiny ickle doggies in her arms. Emma also waved and said hi, plus Matt ran away again, even though he was going to the pub, so it’s not like he had to catch his train… It’s getting kinda annoying now. We did see Llan though and had a nice chat about his nephew’s christening and chilling on his day off. We also talked about the fact we’ll be seeing him in four weeks [Edit: I have no idea what this was in reference to…?!], although on a related note My Friend kept informing people not to countdown in front of me because I’ll tell them off…! Which I will because I’m not ready for countdowns and everyone seems to be jumping on that bandwagon. Except I booked my last ticket today & my blogs are numbered, so now my count for that is counting down for me, whether I want it to or not. Speaking of which, Racky was in today and after a passing hi, I bumped into her again when I went back inside, so she checked my numbers… only I got it wrong and said 119. Oops. It’s kinda hard to keep track :P. Anyway, the reason we went back in, was because someone had something to give to Newton, so I tagged along. I got a hug from him and checked he’s feeling better. Lucas was also inside, but he was busy chatting and since I’m back tomorrow, I gave up waiting and just waved to him before I left.

Peace, love and rock ‘n’ roll,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 19/10/18. Also, in case you’re interested, I relocated Dave’s wedgie tweet for reference purposes, so if you’re interested, you can find it here. And no, I never did get the full story…!]

Strange New(ish) World [AI:119 L:22]

American Idiot: 119, London: 22 (Circle Slips R8)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

I had a stressful morning attempting to adult and I now have to make some expensive interior design decisions in the next 24 hours, which was not overly conductive to a good day. I also felt rubbish and have a ton of Idiot themed crafting to do in what little down time I have, so all in all I was stressed and stroppy and not at all in the mood for an Idiot show, especially an Idiot show without My Friend. There was also no Alexis, which sucked. I knew he was off yesterday, but had no clue why, so I’d hoped he’d be back today. There was also no Llan, but he told us he was going to be off (for his nephew’s christening), so that was expected at least. Still, it was a lot weirder than I thought it would be, particularly as the new swing girl (Charlotte Reavey) was on. I know I’ve seen the tour cast more than I’ve seen the original London cast now, but there have always been those constants that have been there for the whole run, so to look down at the stage and find that the only old faces were Lucas and Amelia (and Tommaso), not to mention the fact there was a completely new face… It just seemed slightly off somehow, like I’d stumbled into an alternate universe. I don’t think being there alone helped either, I can’t remember the last time that happened and it’s just not the same without My Friend. I missed her :(.

So as I said, Idiot was weird… The new girl was only in a couple of numbers (that I noticed; she is a girl, I might have missed the occasional cameo), but she did the girls’ choreography in Idiot instead of Alice, which confused me since Alice wasn’t on the cover sheet. Alice did then appear after the dance break (wearing a new pair of shorts – a friend who was in yesterday told us she split her trousers!), so I’m not sure what was going on there. Anyway, Charlotte reappeared in Home Again and I’m pretty sure she was in Boulevard too, as I’m not sure who else could have made up the numbers, but that did seem to be it. She has orange tipped blonde bunches under a leather (I think?) baseball cap and a slashed up Little Miss tshirt. She reminded me a little of the pictures I’ve seen of the Suicide Squad version of Harley Quinn, but I think that was just the hair. Anyway I’d assumed she’d be on the bus instead of Lucas, but I needn’t have worried, I still got my boy as he was covering the Theo track while Lawrence was on for Llan. I like that track, he gets more lines :P. I watched him too, which was a bit of a novelty. I can’t remember the last time I watched the bus so much, although I actually had a bit of a Lucas show today, so perhaps that wasn’t so surprising. It wasn’t really intentional, I just got caught up watching him in City and then got a bit stuck on him and couldn’t look away. Although I think there was an element of searching for familiarity in the strange new(ish) world. Not that I didn’t watch Nick too, just not as much as usual. Although I still at least tried to watch out for my favourite bits. I missed the headroll in Suburbia because Cellen got in the way, but then unexpectedly got the back to back bit in Holiday… I was fleetingly thrilled until Nick did f*** all with the position. He just leaned against Matt for a bit, then straightened. Meh.

Lucas did the bus stop bit with Lawrence’s bus driver and I love how he plays it so straightforward, like he’s genuinely dumb enough to think ‘no standing’ means sit down. Not that I haven’t seen it done that way many a time, I just especially like the innocence in his expression when he does it, rather than going down the contrary route of sitting down just to be a git. Anyway, continuing on today’s theme of choice, Lucas had no shirt on again in Boulevard and this time he didn’t have it on in Whatsername either, which I’ve not noticed him do before. He was very sweeping with his coat too in both numbers, so it really showed off his chest… it was f***ing hot. He’s looking better than ever at the moment and all that time he must be spending in the gym really seems to be paying off. In fact when he was on the floor with Amelia in Last Night, she poked his chest, which prompted him to move to sit facing her, hold open the sides of his waistcoat and then flex his muscles to make his pecs dance! It was brilliant!!!

I watched Lucas right through St Jimmy as well, aside from a quick glance up at Nick to watch him jerk off at Jemma (he tasted it again, I love it when he does that). Admittedly I prefer watching Lucas from the front in that number, but I still thoroughly enjoyed myself. Plus he really made me laugh when he randomly grabbed hold of Karina’s boobs. He said something about them too, but I couldn’t work out if he was commenting on size or the spikiness of her bra. Either way it was damn funny! And speaking of Karina, the blue wig is back! I didn’t get a chance to speak to her after (I didn’t see her leave, but spotted her a little way down the road and then couldn’t work out if she was smiling at me or someone behind me…!), but from what she said the other day and on twitter, I thought Blue was gone for good. I was very glad to see that’s not the case. This wig is so much more attractive than the other one! Admittedly it took me absolutely ages to notice, but in my defence it just looked normal so it didn’t occur to me that it was different until I belatedly realised it hadn’t jarred at any point. I still had to confirm I wasn’t imagining things, but she helped Lawrence push around the East 12th Street office and I could see the blue poking out from under the bowler. On a related note, I randomly happened to notice the front of that staging block behind a lighting unit in one of the columns on stage, which wouldn’t have been so odd, had the light not been up at the top. I guess it must be suspended from the rig until it’s needed.

Nick did a nice bit of fluffling at one point and of course there were the wiggly eyebrows while he waited for Newton to reappear after the band’ll suck line. Admittedly I didn’t think it was some of his best eyebrow work, especially given how much of a workout he’s been giving them recently, but some of my friends who were in had never seen him do it before (I don’t know how they could have missed it, doesn’t everyone watch Nick obsessively at all times?!) and thought it was hilarious. Personally I was more entertained by the way Nick and Tommaso stuck their middle fingers up at Newton in perfect unison. On which note, I actually found myself watching Tommaso quite a bit today and Nick rather less than usual, which was partly because I was watching Lucas and partly because I just felt off. In some ways it was almost more fun watching Tommaso, since he tends to look back. Or at least, I think he does. It’s not the same as it was with Steve, but at least he seems interested. All that said however, watching the two of them together is still one of my favourite things and there were a couple of highlights today, even if I still didn’t get my Holiday thrusting. For one, Nick seemed to have some new choreography in Rebel. I couldn’t see his feet behind the sofa, so maybe it wasn’t all that new, but it looked to me like he was moving differently to normal and besides, whatever he was doing seemed to be amusing Tommaso, who must have seen the old choreography a hundred times by now. I tend to grin a lot watching them anyway, but Tommaso’s laughter was rather infectious, even when I couldn’t hear it.

So I’ll admit I kinda hoped Lucas might cover Gerard in Rebel as I wasn’t sure how they felt about doubling up Lawrence in both town & city (and both Llan and Lucas have covered that track as Jimmy in the past), but I knew it was a long shot. Sure enough, it was super swing Lawrence to the rescue and to be fair he had his town costume with his beanie on in Too Much & his city one on in Rebel, so it made the two characters suitably distinct. Incidentally, while I’m on the subject of Lawrence as Theo, he attempted to play Rock Paper Scissors to decide who’d go and retrieve the weed, only Matt was having none of it and just flipped him the bird. There was also a show recently when Lawrence said ‘fly away baby’ in a mockingly babyish voice [Edit: I didn’t note down any further details on this, but I assume it was aimed at the baby when Lawrence was holding him over the side of the sofa?].

Anyway, Matt kinda blocked my view of Nick in Rebel, so I mostly watched Lucas and Tommaso instead, although I still made a point of looking over at Nick when they broke out of the cheesy side to side thing. I love his ‘WTF just happened to me’ expression and the way he smacks himself round the head [Edit: I didn’t realise how frequently I’d mentioned this until I proofread several of these back to back… I really did love it though :P]. Also, it would seem Lucas holding his mic in an (in)appropriate place and jerking it off is a thing he’s doing at the moment. It was less exaggerated today and his expression wasn’t quite as dirty as last time, but it was still hot as f***.

I got a bit stuck in Enemy, trying not to take my eyes off of Lucas without missing Nick’s upward glance (which is exceptional from that angle) and his lick (which is less so, but still hot), but I tried! I then ended up watching Emma rather more than usual in Guns and I loved her expressions in the ‘did you’s. She’s quite a strong Heather, though she still very much needs Jemma’s encouragement to persuade her to walk out on Will, but she seems really vulnerable in that number. There’s something in her face that makes her look a bit lost. I also watched Cellen grabbing Alice, because it’s been a while. I’d forgotten how much gentler he is. Alexis grabs hold of her like a man possessed, whereas Cellen’s movement is more like that of a little boy, desperately seeking comfort. I love both interpretations.

Perhaps because I watched him somewhat less than usual (it probably doesn’t sound like it, but it’s true – and in my defence I watch a lot of things I don’t blog about, simply because I have nothing specific to say, I just watch and enjoy), I then had a bit of a moment watching Nick play Letterbomb. There’s just something about that arm movement that does things to me. It’s not filthy in the same way as Steve used to be, but there’s something kinda primal about it…

Lucas didn’t mess up his hair for Death today and I actually kinda liked that, although I think it needs a happy medium, like the way he used to do it when it was just the right side that was a bit mussed. I loved the he used to look kinda fine when he first stumbled on and it wasn’t until he turned to face the front that the audience saw his bloodstained nose and f***ed up hair. I particularly like the half collapsed hair, because it was like we could see him falling apart, only he hadn’t completely disintegrated yet. Anyways, I stood up for Good Riddance this time, because others did and I was off in a corner in R8, even if there weren’t any other familiar faces nearby (Really. Missed. My. Friend. Waah), so I didn’t feel like I stuck out too much. I’m still not really ok with that guitar bit at the end and I hate how much it kicks at my mood, plus Nick does seem to have forgotten he has a left hand for ‘come on’ing with, but I think Tommaso smiled at me at one point, so it wasn’t a total dead loss. I adore that boy! In some ways I feel like he’s all we have left. I wonder if he actually does look over at us as much as he appears to. I may need to ask him.

So stage door was a tad better than expected, in some respects at least. I knew I wouldn’t see most of my boys, but I did see the band, including Alex. Tommaso said his left wrist was hurting, so now I’m worried about him, but he added that he can’t take a day off now, since he’s not had one yet, so hopefully he’ll be ok. There was then a conversation about Nick’s eyebrows for some reason…?! I think some of my friends commented that he cracked them up doing it (the ones that had never seen it before), so I pointed out that he does it all the time, but I guess no one else watches him as much as we do?! I added that I had a gif of it too, so Tommaso said that of course I did! He said he can only see them if Nick looks at him while he’s doing it. On which note, I mentioned the new ‘choreography’ in Rebel, but he didn’t know what Nick was doing either.

Speaking of Nick, he soon joined us and was wearing his Danny shirt. I was meant to ask him to wear it on Tuesday with us, which I did, but he didn’t seem keen… He wanted to know why, so I said it would be funny. Then he asked when… so he could be sure not to wear his that day. Hmph. My other mission wasn’t much more successful either; I told him I needed a photo of him for My Friend, but he flat out refused to pose on his own and insisted that I be in it too. I knew My Friend wouldn’t like that, so I said I didn’t want to be in it, but he was being stroppy, took my phone off of me and gave it to Tommaso to take the photo, then tugged me into it too. On the plus Tommaso, bless him, did get a sneaky shot of Nick on his own, as well as a couple of him with me. I grabbed Nick in mine, because why not [and it’s not like he wasn’t being grabby today, just in a rather different way…!], but then insisted on a group shot of the three of them to satisfy My Friend. Tommaso did the Nick pose, although I didn’t clock that til My Friend pointed it out, and he was also prodding Alex’s chin, so at least HE seemed to be enjoying himself, because Nick just looked stroppy. Meh. Still, stroppy or not, I wasn’t letting him go without a hug. Then just before he left, he tugged on my Dave wristband and said something about all the parts of his life coming together. I’ve been wearing it for weeks so I’ve got no idea why he suddenly picked up on it today, but I’m not sure he sounded all that happy about it either. I half waved to them when they came back too, but I was chatting so didn’t speak to them again.

Nick, Alex & Tommaso

A few of the cast walked past while I was talking to the band and said hi. Cellen gave me a hug, then stopped again on his way back in and when I said I wasn’t in later, he stayed to chat for a bit. He said his voice is a bit better, plus Tunny is more suited to him so it’s much easier to sing. That said, he admitted he’d expected Alexis to be back today and had a late one last night! Apparently Alexis has food poisoning from some dodgy sausages. Although speaking of food, Cellen had a big bag of it from Tesco and when I asked if it was all for him, he told me that apart from a couple of Red Bulls for Lucas it was!

I had time to kill before I had to leave for my next show (Dean John-Wilson at the Pheasantry), so had a brew in the cafe. Only I didn’t realise how much I’d hate being there knowing my boys were on stage in the next room and I couldn’t watch. Hmph. At least I couldn’t hear them over the music in cafe and busker outside (who thankfully replaced traffic cone dude and his saints marching in). Although I did pop downstairs to use the facilities before I left and caught a few lines of Boulevard.

Peace, love & eyebrows,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 28/8/18

Another thing I couldn’t publish at the time, but since it’s so long after the fact now, I can:
I asked Nick about My Friend’s birthday card and he assured me that he has it. It’s on the shelf in their dressing room and he did indeed get Steve to sign it. What a star! Although I don’t think anyone else has, so I’ll be needing it back to get the rest of them. I explained the situation to Tommaso though and he said he may as well sign it while they have it. I told them I’d get it back off them on Wednesday, but Nick said I’d have to contact them to remind them. Obviously I can’t tweet without her seeing and I can’t contact Nick any other way, so I said I’d have to message Tommaso instead. Nick did not take the hint :P.]

Bring Back The Banging [AI:118 L:21]

American Idiot: 118, London: 21 (Stalls D12)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So I was still feeling fairly stroppy, but we had fun doing a bit of pre-show bracelet making (we have now added ‘rage and love’ & ‘bang bang’ to the collection) and Nick walked past a few times so that was appreciated. He was also wearing his blue v-neck, which we’d coincidentally been talking about earlier on Twitter (debating that one vs the button neck alternative, having recently established that he does in fact have two blue shirts. Dave chipped in too, although not until after a mention of magnums turned the direction of the conversation towards food and Frank’s). Anyway, Alex and Tommaso both came over individually to say hi and Tommaso asked what we thought of Little Shop of Horrors (at Wimbledon). Apparently he saw my hair when we walked into the auditorium!

So I know I keep saying this, but I swear Nick is getting hotter in Idiot. There were so many eyebrows and faces and head movements (not quite headbangs, just sharp moves that made me melt), there was even some tongue! And apparently I missed The Nick Face. Well, kinda. I mean I was watching him fairly closely, so I probably didn’t miss it, but since I still don’t have a clue what it looks like, he could do it twenty times and I still wouldn’t know it was The Face. Wah. Although I could still appreciate the hot, I suppose. Then Tommaso made me giggle in Suburbia, singing along to ‘doing someone else’s cocaine’. He sings along a lot, especially at the start, in fact they both do, but there just seemed to be an extra vivacity to his performance of that lyric, it was rather adorable.

The rest of Suburbia was fun too and there were loads of little things that caught my attention. There were some excellent faces pulled when Alexis wandered past Nick to get into place for City, then the boys seemed throughly entertained by Cellen catching the rainbow drops in his shirt. Alexis then really made us giggle copying Newton’s crazy legs in I Don’t Care. I was rather disappointed when there was no Lucas in Dearly Beloved though and I’m not sure why he wasn’t there. They were down by enough cast members that I expected him to be and was looking forward to watching him. Alexis has brought back the situps in Tales and today he was throwing twiglets up and catching them in his mouth. We wondered if he’d got fed up with Matt’s aim and decided to do it himself :P. Although Matt did better today and at least a few of them were on target. He then seemed to jerk the packet upwards at the end, resulting in a face full of twiglets… I’m not sure where he was going with that, but it appeared to be intentional…?! I only half caught what he was doing though, so maybe I missed something. Finally, they appear to have slightly altered the bit when everyone eavesdrops on Will and Heather. The cast always used to sneak up right behind them, close enough to touch, whereas now they hang back a lot more. It’s more natural, but it’s not as amusing. Although Lucas was stood by the wall and just poked his head out, then ducked back behind it when Emma & Matt turned, which was really cute and funny.

Holiday is still a weird one for me and whilst I love that Nick and Tommaso still have an extra body to interact with, I’m still painfully aware of everything we’ve lost and nearly having it, but not quite, almost makes it worse. On the plus Nick opening the fence is pure perfection. The way the light hits his arm when he reaches for it and then there’s the ripple of muscle when he pulls it across… It’s a beautiful moment. Plus whilst he didn’t lean on Matt (My Friend thinks he’s worried about knocking him over because he’s so ickle), he did still step forward and cross his ankle over his calf. Although then he didn’t do Bang Bang… Hmph. Matt made me giggle when he copied Tommaso doing his long wail-y note after a fleeting moment of watching Nick play. It made Tommaso grin too and I liked it better because it’s not the same when he copies Steve-isms and I’d rather he did his own little Matt-isms that I can grow fond of instead. Although I do still wish he’d stand back to back with Nick at the appropriate moment, but that’s only because I want to watch Nick do his thing with Tommaso. There’s still an element of it; I’m sure I noticed a bit of bass waving in Tommaso’s face, but it’s not as distinct and the thrusting was a rather crucial part of that interaction… On the plus Lucas wasn’t wearing his shirt again in Boulevard and I actually noticed this time! Not that there was that much more skin on show and I do kinda understand why I’ve not realised in the past, what with my fascination with watching his face as well as his ripples, but I made sure to appreciate every extra millimetre, just in case it doesn’t happen again. It was magnificent.

Favourite Son was all about Alexis and Lawrence today, assisted by the fact the band were obstructed by the screen so I couldn’t get distracted :P. Alexis was particularly captivated by the girls today and spent a lot of time waving his hands about as if he were trying to bat Lawrence out of the way. In fact he was so captivated by the girls that he didn’t do the bang at all… What is up with our boys today?! What’s happened to all the banging? I miss the banging. Hmph. Although a guy in the row in front did nearly jump out of his skin when the confetti went off, which amused me somewhat. I assume that’s the sort of reaction that Tommaso looks out for. Anyway, Lawrence did smack Alexis on the arse when he wasn’t looking so that was fun. Plus before that, when he was watching Alexis do his push ups, Lawrence was doing this interesting thrusty thing involving a lot of up and down movement… It was brilliant :P. I do like Alexis’s interaction with the girls too though, especially Karina. She teases him mercilessly, especially with her ‘dropped’ pompom and I love how that changes from show to show. Today it landed fairly centrally so he moved as if to grab it, before she stopped him in his tracks, but there was a show the other day when it hit his chest and rolled down to land by his feet. He barely moved at all then, as if he’d been rendered motionless by the interaction and her subsequent proximity. I love the way he drools over Karina when she bends down to pick it up too.

So today was a bit of a technical nightmare of a show, which began when Alexis’s mic died before Waiting. I have no idea what happened (last time he smashed it when he did the bang and crashed to the floor, but as far as I know he’s not fallen over since that incident. Plus I’ve already moaned about him not doing the bang at all today, so it certainly couldn’t have been the cause this time), but at least this time they stopped the show to fix it. I still can’t believe they left him to sing the whole number unamplified last time. It was rather nice to have a show stop though, it gave me some bonus time for note taking :P. Admittedly I’d have preferred to spend the time ogling the band boys since they remained on stage throughout the pause, but they were in such deep shadow that there wasn’t really anything to see. Meh. On the plus, My Friend decided to stroke my hair, so that was nice!

Alexis came back to applause, which he seemed rather chuffed about, then dropped to his knees with a ridiculously seductive smirk. Only he then had to wait ages for the band to strike up again… Poor guy. He handled it well though, with a wryly raised eyebrow at the amused audience, before seamlessly picking up the rhythm of the show when the band started up. I know I’ve said it before, but he really is a damn good actor and not just because he can sing, dance and act. He may mess around when his character has the freedom to do so, but he’s nothing if not a professional. He’s been thrown some major curveballs in this show and he always just picks up and carries on, bringing the audience along with him. And I’ll stop sucking up now, love ya Sexy Lexi ;). Well, in a second… I also wanted to add that he sounded amazing. I think the pause before the music started left me on tenterhooks waiting for him to start singing, so I ended up more focussed on his vocals once he did, plus I guess I was further back, so I was less distracted by his thighs… :P. Other than that, I don’t actually remember the last time I saw a full male cast with all three ensemble boys in the bootcamp scene, so that was rather fun. I’d forgotten how good it looks with the four of them. Although admittedly I was on Steve watch when Cellen came back last week, so I guess it happened then, but for obvious reasons I wouldn’t have noticed.

So Lucas now has quite the collection of party whistles. I’ve noticed a few times recently that he’s had two of them (not that it’s made much of a difference to the funny half-hearted sounds they tend to make), but today he had three. Three! It made us both giggle. I then found myself watching Matt & Emma quite a bit in the early part of Novacaine and as such My Friend probably shouldn’t read the rest of this paragraph… :P. Anyway, they seem to have given that whole scene a bit of a shake up, so now soon after Emma sits down, the baby kicks and she clutches excitedly at her bump. Matt however is totally indifferent and given she’s already fairly unimpressed by his manner when she first came home (he flinches away from her when she touches his shoulder in the same way Steve did), it’s unsurprising that his disinterest makes her mad. He doesn’t get her to retrieve his beer, picking it up from the floor himself (he doesn’t leave it quite so close to edge, so it’s positioned between her feet rather than on her other side), but when he realises she’s annoyed with him, he thoughtlessly offers her the can in a sort of half-arsed apology, which just makes her more angry. He knows he’s f***ed up then and makes a concerted effort to fix things, tickling at her leg until she thaws slightly, then pulling her into his arms. I actually thought it all flowed far more smoothly than the old version (this is why My Friend shouldn’t be reading this paragraph…) as there’s no sudden inexplicable change in mood. It never quite made sense to me why Steve would go from his paranoid, self-absorption to snuggling with her just because she looked a bit sulky; she’s sulky from the moment he flinches away from her.

And back to things My Friend can read…ish. I actually felt that Nick’s Novacaine headbanging wasn’t as fluid as usual, to the point I was wondering if he was ok, but after that he pulled ALL THE FACES and it was beautiful and perfect and I’m sure he’s fine. There were a lot of wiggly eyebrows while he was waiting for Newton to reappear too. They just seem to keep getting more epic with every show. My Friend thinks they have a life of their own. As for Rebel… Nick’s cheesy smile really is magnificent! And I love the way he physically knocks sense into himself at the end of it…! And just in case Nick hadn’t made me sufficiently melty, Lucas ended up half kneeling on the floor, with his mic held at crotch height, while he pretended to jerk it off… He pulled some rather excellent faces too… *swoon*.

I got a bit captivated by Nick’s fluff in the Lobotomy reprise because it was so clearly visible over the top of the TV, even if the rest of him wasn’t. Then the lick was back to its usual brilliance in Enemy, or possibly I was just back to not sulking. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed it again tonight ;). Also that thing he does when he looks up at the ceiling around the ‘lies’ mark was as beautiful as ever. He doesn’t always do it now, so I find I appreciate it all the more when he does. Although I actually spotted similar expressions quite a few times tonight. Why is that so sexy?! And while I’m (once again) on the subject of Nick being sexy (is there anyone left who isn’t sick of this by now?!), there was also a bit mid-show, although I forget exactly when, when he was leaning against the wall, only not in his usual style of leaning. He was a fair way away from it and had his left arm stretched out straight, propping himself up against the set. We both made noises when we spotted it, it was delicious…

So I mentioned the technical trouble earlier (which seems to be becoming a recurrent theme; Johnny’s mic has gone down a couple of times in recent weeks), but there was another malfunction during Guns. At least there wasn’t a show stop this time, but Alexis had to sing Newton’s ‘faith walks on broken glass’ line for him and then Lucas really did do the letter on his own. I’d kinda expected it as soon as I heard Alexis sing the extra lyric, but it was confirmed when Lucas appeared with two letters again, not that he actually read his, he just waved it around a bit. He told Newton to ‘get out of here’ before he started though, so Newton just took his shirt back and vanished off stage to get his mic sorted, while Lucas did the scene on his own. There was a slightly awkward pause after ‘St Jimmy rules’ as he couldn’t really respond to himself the way he does to Johnny (even when Johnny was un-miked, he was at least there for Lucas to play off), but it was still brilliant and I loved getting to see that again.

Just to backtrack for a moment, however; I love Alexis’s uncertainty before he reaches for Karina in Guns. You can clearly see the indecision on his face as he shifts his hands, almost but not quite taking hold of hers, until something in him finally snaps and he grabs her. Today it seemed to work for him even more so that usual; he looked totally blissed out when he was cuddled up to her, although he did have his face buried in her chest again, so that may have had something to do with it. She was also stroking his head with her fingers (well actually, it looked more like she was running her nails over his scalp, but you get the idea. He looked content enough, so I’m sure whatever it was she was doing to him, it felt good). I was a tad jealous… :P. (To clarify; I was jealous of her getting to stroke him, not of him being stroked!).

So I spent the early part of Letterbomb considering the lighting situation and decided that I actually rather like the fact the band are half in shadow, at least until Heather comes in. Because the thing is, you can still see the speed Nick is moving his arm at because he’s backlit and even in silhouette the movement is clear, but you can’t really see the bass, so even though it’s quite obvious what he’s doing, you can’t see exactly… so you can make your own mind up… Saucy :P. And speaking of the arm… I got a bit captivated in Rock GF as well, even though I could only really see the band from the waist down… It was still hot.

Other than that Lucas had a conversation with the wall about Amelia’s ‘screw you’, which made me giggle. Plus I really do love Matt’s vocals in Nobody Likes You, there’s just something about his tone that gives me tingles. Then in Whatsername Llan finally f***ed up ‘remember’. I’m actually incredibly impressed it hasn’t happened before now and the poor boy seemed gutted about it, but it was funny. He ended up putting ‘remb’ then correcting himself by scrawling an E over the B and carrying on. He then just sorta stabbed the wall with a vicious stroke in the loop of the final R and strode off stage with his arms out in a show of frustrated defeat. Bless him!

As for the boys on the sofa, I was trying to work out what they were doing and got so distracted that I missed Lucas completely as a result… A truly horrific state of affairs. Especially since I never actually did work out what they were doing. Matt stroked the stick a bit, but not quite in the same manner that I’m used to, then hooked the handle around Alexis’s neck, but Alexis was having none of it and stopped him. Other than that; not a clue and I forgot to ask. I then moaned at My Friend in Good Riddance that Nick only uses one arm now when (/if) he does ‘come on’ (which is nowhere near as rargh as when he uses both, it sucks), so she said maybe he’s forgotten he has two, which did make me giggle. Plus Nick made up for it somewhat by joining Rob in serenading Alex again. It was a tad different today as Alex was actually aware of what they were doing and therefore responded to them, which encouraged them even more, I think. Nick ended up on one knee behind the sofa doing his funny, fancy clapping, while Rob leaned in with the violin too. It was hilarious and I was all but crying with laughter, but I think Lucas thought I was watching him as he was almost directly in my line of site. Oops! Admittedly he does tend to be quite oblivious and doesn’t look at us much usually, so maybe I’m worrying for nothing, but it felt worse because we didn’t stand up at all today. I don’t even remember the last time we did that, but we were right in the middle of the stalls and I felt awkward again, so stayed put at the curtain call. Then we should have stood up at the end, but I was an emotional mess again (Lucas did the guitar thing… not at me or anything, he just did it, but obviously Steve wasn’t there for him to do it at either… And I’m honestly not sure if this was better or worse) and we were dithering and then it was too late… I still don’t know if it’s better for them to have us stand up and no one join or to have no one stand up at all, but My Friend made a point that they must expect it of us by now… :/. I feel bad.

So My Friend abandoned me at stage door, but naturally I still hung around to see everyone. Well nearly everyone… Tommaso had friends in so went straight over and left with them, plus Matt ran past us as we were leaving, so I didn’t see him either. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone be so insanely quick! I did say hi to Alex though and mentioned that I love him being serenaded. He said it’s very romantic, especially with the violin. Cellen didn’t hang around long as he’s still not 100% so was heading straight home, but I got my hug before he left. He also mentioned seeing me on the tube the other day and apologised for not saying anything, but I assured him I understood!

Nick had a load of lighting gear with him, but put it down for a hug, which I appreciated so much that I thanked him for it and that just sounded silly… Oops. Still, he was nice and damp :D. Although I let him go too quickly, but I suppose that balances out with the clinging I did on Sunday. Anyway, I gave Rob a hug too and told them both that I loved the Alex serenading. Nick mentioned that Alex didn’t even notice the other day, so we ended up discussing earplugs and then one of them, possibly Nick, said that Alex was looking for women (hence why he was too busy looking out over the audience to notice the rest of the band’s antics). We also talked about the gear Nick had with him and he complained that it was heavy, plus he needs all his camera stuff too and he’s going to Barking tomorrow. Rob told him he might just have to suck it up and get an Uber. Then when Nick bent down to pick his stuff back up, his fluff was RIGHT in front of me and I couldn’t stop staring at it, although I somehow managed to resist touching it…!

Jemma joined us when she emerged and I hugged her too. She then hugged me again a moment later and told me that I give good hugs! She said she’s still not 100% either and she’s getting frustrated now, poor thing. Lawrence and Emma then appeared, but I just said a passing hi to Lawrence as he left. Emma joined us however, read the slogan on my ‘save a broom, ride a seeker’ vest and nodded at it in approval. They were all going to the pub I think, but Nick went home with stuff instead. I totally didn’t watch him walk the whole way down the road… :P.

I then had a loooong chat with Alexis. He commented that I was on my own, so I explained that My Friend had to rush to get a train. In response he put his arm around me and joked let’s go to pub…! We then talked about the mic issues he had and he seemed rather upset about it, not least because it was blamed on him doing the ‘bang’ when he didn’t! I assured him I knew that; I watched him the whole number, so he wanted me to tweet about it. There was also an incident the other day where some of the younger fans were attaching pegs to cast members, so we discussed that and various peoples’ reactions to it. He seemed extra stroppy today, yet weirdly chatty despite that. It was so nice to really talk to him though, it feels like it’s been a while since I’ve done that. Also I got a million hugs, so that was awesome too. I even managed to resist stroking his head…!

When Llan came out, he joined us and was still gutted about his spelling error. He mentioned that My Friend had already tweeted him about it…! Alexis then read my shirt, so I explained that it was a Harry Potter reference. They asked if I’d seen Cursed Child, so we ended up talking about that. Alexis has read it, but not seen it live and asked about the special effects. I admitted that whilst it is very well done, there’s nothing I haven’t either seen before or could work out, which made it less magical for me, but then I’ve seen a lot of theatre, so I guess that’s expected. Alexis also pointed out that I see it a lot too (as in; I see the same shows over and over, so I know more about how things are staged). That said, he did then joke that I still don’t know how he does his leg…! I also explained that to me the story is just like a fanfic, so Alexis informed us that he’s read Harry Potter porn. I don’t know what possessed me to say it, but I responded by telling him that I wrote some… Which certainly threw him! He then started making some up on the spot about Hermione, but I decided not to give him any further detail about the sort of thing I used to write!

Other than that, in a rather surreal turn of events, a random girl started talking to me when I was on my own for a bit and thought that I was one of the cast’s girlfriends… Not that I minded, obviously :P. Anyway, I also saw Newton briefly, who came over to say hi. He’s had a chest infection, but he’s getting better slowly. Also, he was singing with someone at stage door (who I assume was a fan of his), which was cute. As for Lucas, he had friends in, but I still talked to him plenty. We chatted about cruises & he mentioned that he wants to play Corny in Hairspray, so he’d consider going back for that. [Edit: I also had a note that said ‘F*** up in SNF with lights’, but I don’t know what that means…? I know I had a conversation with him once about something going wrong when he did Saturday Night Fever on a ship, so I guess that’s what I meant, but I can’t remember what happened, so I have no idea what the ‘lights’ thing was…?]. Anyway, Lucas hung around for a minute after the others left, so I got a couple of hugs. I also said that I liked him doing the letter, so he asked if I’d noticed that he didn’t have to read it, which I did! We said goodbye after that, only he went the other way round into station. I dawdled, but he was still just ahead of me, so I ended up hanging back to let him get a bit further ahead because I felt awkward. I didn’t mean to follow him!

Peace, love & banging,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 25/8/18]

Remember To Learn To Forget [AI:117 L:20]

American Idiot: 117, London: 20 (Stalls E9)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So this one was nowhere near as tough as the matinee, but I’m still not what one would consider ‘ok’ and I was relieved not to be in the front row again. I need to stop almost crying every five minutes before I’ll feel comfortable there. Still, Nick was definitely hotter than ever in Idiot, so that helped start the show off on the right foot. Plus Lucas was in the first wave of ensemble in City, so I got to watch him do the ‘parking lot’ arms that I’m so fond of. Unsurprisingly I ended up watching him a lot today, I needed it. He was on the Holiday bus again as well and I actually watched him a lot then too. At one point Llan lay right back with his head in the vicinity of Lucas & Jemma’s laps, until Lucas urgently pointed straight ahead and Llan jerked upright and pretended to swerve. It was rather amusing.

I was a bit more conscious of Matt this evening, but mostly just struggled to get my head around him not being Steve :/. The choreography for his ‘cradle to the grave’ lines has seemingly been scrapped and he just sticks his arm up, which to be fair isn’t all that different to what Alexis does when he sings his lines, but… Not Steve :/. This is going to take a while, I’m sorry. Matt also can’t throw twiglets, but that was actually one of the few moments when I could just watch him as him and not through a haze of sulkiness. He tried, bless him, but they weren’t going anywhere near Alexis’s head, so after a few pointless attempts at diving for them, Alexis just gave up and watched them fall around him with an exasperated expression.

So I made it through Favourite Son this evening, which is progress I guess, but the ‘you know you want it’ line still brings a lump to my throat. I miss watching Steve beg for it :P. Emma was back on as a cheerleader today too, presumably to make up numbers with so many people off. As for Rebel, I’m still loving the way the band dance behind Lucas and it’s kind of a novelty to watch them without getting distracted by anyone else. Although as hilarious as that whole sequence is, I much prefer it when they snap out of it and go back to rocking out. I especially love the way Nick smacks his hand against his head like he’s trying to knock some sense into himself and wondering what the f*** he’s just been doing. Also Matt and the band interact a lot, which I suspect I’ll enjoy more going forward. As for now, I’m never going to object to watching Nick pull faces. I like Nick’s faces.

I like Matt’s moose antlers at the end of Last Night On Earth too, although I have mixed feelings about the whole pulling her towards him with the fishing rod thing, it’s a bit too Steve :/. I did really like the way he did Too Much though. Apparently he keeps trying to make Emma laugh, but I can’t say I noticed that. I just liked the way he knew he’d f***ed up, especially after accidentally thumping the baby, so he tried to fix it, but kept making it worse instead. Like he turned to swear at Jemma, but then Emma did something to bring his attention back to her, so he turned back too soon and ended up half shouting ‘f*** you’ at Emma instead of Jemma, which just pissed her off even more.

There was a show a while back when Karina was on for Ex Girl and when Alexis lifted her up, she ended up shoving her boobs right in his face. I’ve forgotten the detail now, but we definitely discussed it with one or both of them at stage door at the time. I’ve not seen them do it in quite such an obvious manner since, but then in Guns this evening when he grabbed her, he ended up with his face buried right in her chest. It was rather amusing to watch, especially given the history and I think even they were both smiling a little more than they normally would at that moment! Alexis especially seemed even more content and relaxed in her arms than ever before :P.

In the build up to the letter, Lawrence took ages to get dressed and shove the dagger into the wall, so it gave Lucas more time to play while he killed time. He said hi to Nick, then stroked his shoulder… Not jealous at ALL… :P. He was obviously in a chatty mood today though and responded audibly to most of Lawrence’s lines. We got an ‘I totally do’ after ‘St Jimmy rules’ too and I got such a thrill out of that, even after this afternoon’s similar level of engagement. I wish he did it all the time.

I didn’t remember what the boys did in Whatsername (although Alexis later mentioned it at stage door), but Emma came on again after Alexis left so I guess that’s a thing now. I know it’s not my place to say, but I can’t help it; I don’t like it. It’s different and doesn’t fit at all with what Steve said way back when I asked after Will & Heather. They broke up, so why are they all snuggled up together suddenly? They don’t even have the baby with them. Hmph. I also think it contradicts her ‘this is my rage’ line :/.

As for Good Riddance, Nick and Rob cracked me up at the start. They both moved right in behind the sofa as if they were serenading Alex, only Alex was totally oblivious! It was hilarious, plus Nick was doing this really exaggerated clap thing, with big sweeping arm movements. I didn’t know you could serenade someone with a slow clap, but it certainly looked like that’s what he was doing! It really was brilliant… which made it suck all the more when my mood flipped 180 over the guitar thing that is no more. I think it’s going to be a long time before that doesn’t hurt, which is particularly rubbish what with it coming at the very end of the show. It leaves me on a downer when I really shouldn’t be down :(. Meh.

Still, I was in less of a state this evening than I was after the matinee, so at least we could talk to people this time. We saw Tommaso and I gave him a hug, but then he got chatting to Rich who was in watching with a girl who’d been in the Philippines’ production. We chatted to them a bit too, but then got interrupted by Karina, so went to talk to her instead. Of course we discussed the new wig and I’m not sure she’s overly enamored with it either. I also finally thought to ask about the lights on the Ex Girl wings, so she explained that they were burning the fabric, which is why they’ve not been used for ages…! We then missed Alex again, I think because he went straight over to Rich.

When Nick came out I gave him a hug and just didn’t let go… Although he didn’t seem to mind, he just let me cling and asked if I was ok. I didn’t actually reply until I let him go, but apparently My Friend (who was stood behind me and therefore in his eyeline) said no I wasn’t. She then told him that she’d kept me away from him after the matinee so I didn’t cry on him…! I can’t quite recall what he said in response, but it was something like; I could cry at at him but not on him…. Good to know :P. Anyway, we told him it had been a crap week and added that we’d missed Danny’s set too (at Speaking In Shadows’ gig on Friday – we didn’t realise he was on so ridiculously early and didn’t turn up til after he’d finished). Nick assured us that he’ll be here til the end, but then I got upset about him mentioning the end, so… Meh. I kinda nudged his shoulder with my head, which was possibly a little much; I’m not sure we’re really at that stage yet, but at the same time I was sort of impressed with myself for being so much less nervous than I used to be. I still remember Portsmouth when I wimped out of saying a proper hi to him on my first attempt…! After that Nick ended up giving one of my friends an impromptu photography lesson with her DSLR, so I just found myself watching him talk. I like seeing people when they’re in their element, it’s fascinating.

We saw Amelia and gave her Steve’s card, although she knew what it was before we even gave it to her. Apparently he has a whole shelf of them. We also chatted to Emma (during which time Jemma joined us briefly) and told her that we’re making a Luke as Wolverine shirt (to go with My Friend’s Steve as Iron Man one when we go to Footloose) and she reckoned he’ll be really excited, so that’s promising! She said she’s seeing him tomorrow too (although obviously the tshirt is a secret!). We chatted about all the changes and new things and apparently they change up Whatsername and what their relationship is during it. In fact, I felt kinda bad about how we reacted to the whole thing, although we did explain that we don’t like change. On the plus, it’s been her first full week in ages, she’s off antibiotics now and she’s generally feeling well, so yay! It’s been good to have her back.

We also saw Cellen for the first time in ages, which was rather lovely. He told us he’s not 100% yet, but he’s feeling a lot better. We joked that he’d best not get a Tunny show in the meantime, but he said that actually Tunny’s easier to sing. To be fair, Luke used to say same thing about how hard Theo’s vocals are; apparently there are female harmonies or something. Other than that, My Friend pointed out that he and Karina were having a diva-off in Enemy – he said he wins :P.

So it turns out that Alexis hadn’t noticed it was HIM on my Hulk shirt when he saw it earlier, so I got the proper attention for it this evening instead. I made sure to get a photo with him too. My Friend also showed him a picture of her Steve shirt, but I made him guess which superhero I’d turned him into before he saw it. He struggled, but then I reminded him that Steve got upset when I initially turned Lexi into Iron Man way back when. Of course we also talked about Matt, and Alexis jokingly moaned about how rubbish he is at throwing twiglets. He also told us that he doesn’t want to do the same stuff in Whatsername as he did with Steve. For example, today he played a scene for Matt (like an audition). Apparently he got the part! Naturally he teased me a bit about the blog too and how it was all about Nick… Hmph!

When Lucas appeared I have him too big a hug as well, but I couldn’t help myself. My Friend was wearing her band shirt and it transpired that he hadn’t seen them before, so he admired it. He then saw mine and liked it so much that he took a picture of my chest, so that was fun :P. We then ended up having a nice chat about Green Day and he said that he really wants them to come and see the show… which is something we’re definitely all for! Finally we saw Llan and he got hugged too, plus we talked to him a little before we left. He’s got his nephew’s christening next weekend, so he’ll be away.

After they’d all gone, My Friend and I opted to go to the pub again and bumped into the cast of Guys & Dolls when we got there, so that was a bit surreal, especially when I walked past Simon Lipkin. Anyway, we found ourselves a table out of their way and both ended up having a little cry, not helped remotely by Steve posting a photo on instagram of the card we got him. He wrote an absolutely lovely caption for it too *sniffle*.

Peace, love and overlong cuddles,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 22/8/18]

Sucks That You’re Not Here [AI:116 L:19]

American Idiot: 116, London: 19 (Circle Slips R8)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

I’ve been up and down a lot in the last few days. I hate that Steve’s gone, but there was still a part of me that was excited to see Matt. Only people are starting to countdown and it’s making me feel a bit sick. Steve leaving seems to have brought the end into sharp relief and I’m f***ing terrified. How am I meant to say goodbye? Then the tubes were f***ed and I ate too much chocolate, which didn’t exactly help my mood, plus the cafe was overrun with fundraisers so there was no space. Admittedly I got there too late to see anyone anyway, but it was still annoying that we couldn’t stay inside, especially when we spotted Nick in the cafe (through the window). Although on the plus, we spotted Nick…! My Friend asked if we were being obvious looking at him, so I pointed out that he wasn’t looking at us, so it was fine. She then said ‘what if we do this?’ and put her head on my shoulder and her arms round me (without taking her eyes off of him, so we were both gazing dreamily at him in what has become our standard ‘swooning over Nick’ pose). He then looked up almost immediately and saw us! Of course we burst out laughing, so he raised an eyebrow and we waved back :P.

So I was really stressed before it started. I didn’t know how I’d feel about seeing Matt on Will’s sofa and I didn’t even know what to expect costume wise. Would he be dressed like Steve? Would it be better or worse if he was? Then the curtain dropped and I saw him there and I still didn’t know how to feel. He was in the same costume as Steve, but his shirt was a touch darker and his fluff was covered by a backwards burgundy coloured baseball cap. I later established that he was wearing the cookie monster pants with the big eyes, like the ones Steve had at the start of tour. I will say now that I hate the hat. Fluff coverings as a rule are unacceptable, but this seems particularly irritating. I am glad that he’s not in Elmo pants though, I don’t think I could have handled that and I was emotional from the get go.

The stupid thing is, I genuinely thought I’d be ok, but even in Idiot I felt a bit like crying. I swear Nick was being extra hot, especially at the end, but even so there were so many Steve bits that I missed. It would seem that bit when they all come to the front and do the double head nod thing (after ‘calling out to idiot America’) is ruined for me now. It’s just not the same without the fluff. I imagine TV fix will be the same, but at least I couldn’t see that this afternoon anyway. I watched Nick instead and I love that he does it too, it’s so cute/hot.

Lawrence was on for Johnny today, which was a nice surprise and was also a much needed distraction at times. I really do love his Johnny and right from the start he reels me in. I adore the way he delivers his opening lines, like a proper stroppy teenager than doesn’t give a f*** about anything, or at least that’s what he wants you to think. There’s so much innocence and naivety in his performance, it’s brilliant.

So I don’t really know where to start with Holiday… To begin with, we were worried about the fence. Steve always used to back into it and open it, so without him…? Only then Nick opened it himself and it turns out I was ok with that…! Really really ok with that. The arm was magnificent. We were then somewhat thrown when Matt popped up with his guitar (I think it was the same one Cellen used when he didn’t borrow Christina) and played along, although I’m sure it wasn’t plugged in. Steve said they were going to record him playing before he left and add him in as a track. I don’t know if that actually happened, but I hope so. It did seem a tad odd throwing Matt in for that one (especially when they didn’t for much else except Boulevard and Rebel, I think), but I guess it was kinda cute. Especially because it looked a little like Nick was teaching him how to rock out appropriately. It was still weird though. He’s not Steve and the bits he did with Nick weren’t ‘right’. For example, they did a back to back thing, but it was late and there was no thrusting :(.

On a rather different note, according to My Friend, Lucas didn’t have his tshirt on in Boulevard… and I didn’t notice… o_O. Although in my defence I was totally dazzled by his chest, so it’s not so much that I didn’t notice his lack of shirt, more that I was too busy enjoying the benefits to think about why I had such a magnificent view! He’s looking good right now. Not that he didn’t always, but his chest is definitely extra-lickable at present. Anyway, despite my fascination with his ripples, I wasn’t so distracted that I wasn’t also able to appreciate him being extra smirky. He gets like that with Lawrence, I love it. Incidentally he told Lawrence ‘you’re going to have such a good time’ when he gave him the pills in St Jimmy too.

So I wasn’t really sure what I was expecting, but I certainly didn’t think it would be Favourite Son that finally set me off. It was the stupidest thing too; just watching the two band boys playing without Steve. It wasn’t even the ‘you know you want it’ bit, although that certainly didn’t help. I was already crying by the time Nick had no one to give ‘it’ to :(. I genuinely didn’t expect it to hurt this much. I even sorta like watching just the two of them together. Nick always used to keep looking back and forth between Steve and Tommaso as if he was worried about accidentally neglecting one of them. It was almost smoother with only the one bandmate to interact with, but at the same time, it still felt like something important was missing. I guess Holiday was a novelty, seeing how Matt interacted instead, but Favourite Son just had a Steve shaped hole in it and there was no attempt at all to fill it. I missed Steve so much. And then there was Novacaine. I don’t even know what to say, because I could barely see Matt from that seat anyway and I genuinely loved his voice, but… It’s too soon for me to be ok with anyone who’s not Steve. I need more time, time that I don’t have, and the worst part is knowing that if Matt was just an understudy I’d be loving him, I just can’t deal with it all right now and I hate it.

The build up to Rebel made me feel a bit ill, to the point I almost didn’t want to watch it. Lawrence doesn’t do the band bit the same either (although he definitely has in the past because he’s the one Nick bit at the last time I got to see my beloved bite), so Nick got to play less and there was no lunging. He did have excellent eyebrow movement though and he ran his hand through his hair a few times, as well as wiping his face on his sweatbands, all of which made me feel a bit better, but Rebel hurt. A lot. Especially at the start when I automatically stretched out my hand Steve style. It’s not even something I do on a regular basis, but for some reason I did it today, completely unconsciously. Then when Matt stood on the sofa, he totally got in the way of my Nick watching and although he did have a bouncey thing going on, it wasn’t the same. And more than anything, I miss Steve’s attention. I miss the way he always found us and winked at us, even on days when we both thought he hadn’t spotted us. I miss The Knee and that he knew how much we loved it and indulged us from time to time. Matt actually had a good moment with the band boys at one point, but by then I was far too upset to appreciate it. I just need time :(.

A few random bits and pieces; Karina has a new wig for her city track. The short black and blue one has been replaced by a black and pink layered bob and whilst the colour is nice, it doesn’t suit her anywhere near as well as the old one did. I wonder what happened to the blue one. Anyway, Last Night was mostly about Lucas today, but I just caught sight of Matt holding his hands up by the sides of his head and wiggling his fingers to make Emma laugh. Then what I assume was a fire alarm went off halfway through Ex Girl, which was just loud enough to be obvious, but apparently not loud enough for most of the audience to worry. Alexis and Karina just powered on and eventually it stopped, but it did rather screw with my concentration. Also, the bike headlights broke, so Alexis just gave up on them and left them on the floor before returning them to Llan. On a different note, I could see him in the wings before September, settling himself in the wheelchair and sorting out the blanket over his legs – I like being able to see into the wings…! And finally on the random front, I have no idea when this happened, I think it was fairly early on, but Nick made a kissy face at Tommaso and made me giggle.

So I still can’t get over how brilliant Lawrence is in the heroin scene, from the way he acts out the craving, to the desperate attempts at finding a vein, to the way he slowly relaxes as the drug spreads through his system. It’s so raw and real (or what I imagine to be real anyway). In fact the only trouble was, I was still trying really hard not to cry again and My Friend resting her head on my shoulder only made that worse. Then in Enemy, the wide eyed upwards glance was good, but the lick seemed kinda lacklustre, which sucked. I really needed a good long lick today. And then there was a show stop halfway through Guns. I’m not sure exactly what happened but I think an audience member fell whilst trying to get out in the circle and hurt themselves enough that they needed assistance, although she seemed ok when she left so hopefully it was nothing serious. Anyway, I could see the commotion, so was expecting the stop, but it did rather ruin Guns! Amelia was halfway through the ‘did you’ bit and they just turned off the sound. They then skipped the rest of the song and picked up again from July 18th. On the plus, Lucas was in a chatty mood, verbally acknowledging most of what Lawrence said and responding to ‘St Jimmy rules’ with a ‘yeah I do’. It still happens rarely enough that I was so thrilled I clapped delightedly in response. It was also nice to know that some things still have the power to make me giddy even when I’m this miserable. I then had a great view of Nick in Letterbomb as the fence was left slightly open, until he closed it when he had a free hand. Dick :P.

So I haven’t got a lot to say about Matt on purpose. I barely watched him because I couldn’t. I’m not even close to being ok yet and I don’t want to unfairly judge his performance while I’m missing Steve so much that no one else has a shot in hell of filling his shoes. I wasn’t completely oblivious of course and I actually loved Matt’s voice in his solo rendition of Nobody Likes You, to the point it kinda gave me tingles. Only right now, it almost feels like I’m betraying Steve, which I know is completely stupid, but there you have it. Then Home Again set me off. Again. As did Whatsername. And I did try and watch the sofa then, but I couldn’t see Alexis anyway and then Emma came on after he left and cuddled up with Matt and that was weird… I don’t know how I feel about that. As for Good Riddance… I hated not having someone looking out for us. Steve always found us, always smiled… And the guitar bit killed me. It didn’t start off that way (being a thing with him), I was just being silly and amusing My Friend, but now? I can’t do it without him. Only not doing it hurts too. I miss him.

It was sorta downhill from there and I couldn’t stop crying at stage door. I wasn’t even like that on the last night in London, I don’t know what was wrong with me, but I just couldn’t seem to pull myself together. We ended up standing off to the side and didn’t even try to stop anyone. Nick stopped to chat to some of our friends by the door, but he didn’t seem to see us and I didn’t dare call him over. The rest of the boys, those of them who appeared anyway, went the other way and therefore didn’t see us either. We did call Alexis over since I’d made the effort to wear my Alexis Hulk tshirt, but he was in a rush to grab food so just looked over at the shirt, said bang a couple of times and ran. It wasn’t until later that I realised he hadn’t seen it properly, but I’ll come back to that in the next post. We did bump into Rob in Pret, so at least said hi to him, plus we then had a long chat with Phil when we were hanging around before the evening show. Apparently we’re verging on being called the Crazies again… :P. I didn’t realise our behavior up until this point had leant itself towards us losing that nickname! He said he’s working on the Snowman at the Peacock over Christmas, so we said we might pop in and see it ;).

Peace, love and moping,
K xx

Give Me Novacaine [AI:114 L:17]

American Idiot: 114, London: 17 (Circle Slips L8/9?)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So I wasn’t sure if this blog was going to happen at all, because the information we discovered on Sunday night changed everything, only they didn’t seem to have any intention of announcing it. I could never have written this pretending everything was fine, but at the same time I didn’t want to talk about something we weren’t supposed to know about, even when publishing well after the fact [Edit: I wrote this weeks after, I never imagined it wouldn’t be published until years after… Oops!]. Fortunately I guess, they finally posted it today, in a roundabout and totally unclear sort of way, so here it is; Steve is leaving. On Friday. Matt is taking over as Will for the rest of the run.

Despite everything we kinda tried to carry on as normal. We had our Nick fanclub meeting as scheduled and hyperventilated over some face licking, which really went a long way towards improving our collective mood…! (For further details, including the video selection, please see the minutes from the meeting here). We waved to Nick when he passed and I also saw a few of the others including Lucas and Steve, but only out of the corner of my eye.

So this is going to be a difficult one. I thought it was going to be short too, very short, but once I started writing I ended up saying more than I’d expected. I watched Steve pretty much exclusively the whole show, to the point that I was barely even aware that there was a lower level to the stage. He didn’t do anything new or special, he was just Steve… and I could hardly bear to look away. Of course there were fleeting moments; I did glance down at Lucas in Boulevard (but not in Whatsername) and I occasionally looked over at Nick because I’m going to miss his interaction with Steve almost as much as I’m going to miss Steve himself. In fact, on my way into town tonight I was writing up an old blog and talking about how much I love the way Nick and Tommaso behave when Nick is back to back with Steve in Holiday. I’m really going to miss that. I did glance down long enough to note that Lawrence was on as a cheerleader (Karina is on holiday) and also noticed that Alice seems to have a new wig (it’s not massively dissimilar to the old pink one, but it’s curlier and has a more natural colour – a shade of reddish brown that looks purpley under certain lights. I have no idea why they’ve replaced it, especially this close to the end), but all of these things were little more than a passing glance before my attention returned to Steve.

I actually thought I held it together quite well. I welled up a lot right from Idiot, but managed to keep it together until Novacaine. I cracked then and was a mess on and off for the rest of the show, but I was always going to cry in that one. My Friend and I were considering slogans for his leaving card earlier in the week and for some reason I thought I’d skim through the Novacaine lyrics to see if there was anything we could use. There wasn’t, but there were certainly plenty of lines that hit home. Hard.

I was rather relieved when Steve sprawled on the sofa after his initial ‘erk’ reaction to Johnny’s band comment, because it meant I could watch Nick without worrying about missing anything. He did a lot of eyebrow wiggling and it was almost like he knew I needed cheering up. It worked for a moment anyway, before Rebel started and I sobbed the whole way through. It was weird really, because I still love that whole number and I was happy-ish. Admittedly I was scared he wouldn’t wink, but then he did and the knee was perfect and I at least managed to smile back at him, but waaah :(. It’s been ages since I watched him so much in Rebel too, I’m usually distracted by Lucas & Nick at the end. There’s a lot of bouncy knee action, I’d forgotten. And now I wish I’d appreciated it more when I had the chance, even though I love watching my other boys too. In fact, I didn’t watch Lucas at all in Last Night and I’m not sure I’ve ever done that before. I half glanced down at one point because he and Amelia seemed to be doing something different and when I looked he was holding his hands by his head like antlers, but who knows what they were up to, because that was all I saw before Steve stole me back and I didn’t look down again. I also sobbed through the whole song, but I guess that’s hardly surprising.

Lobotomy was one of the few times I looked at the main stage the whole evening and even though I know the show so well that I kinda know what I’m missing even when I’m not looking, it still almost seemed surprising that the stage was there at all. In some way I feel like everything should be different because Steve is leaving and how can things just carry on like everything is ok? I know that’s ridiculous, but it’s all been so sudden… I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I don’t know how to stop myself falling. A year ago I tweeted about replacing my cocaine addiction (meaning The Last Carnival) with heroin and today’s follow up lamented the fact that the heroin supplies are running out. I guess to extend that metaphor a little further, my brand of heroin only has enough hits left to get me through to Friday. There’s still more to be obtained, but it’s not as good, won’t get me as high, won’t last as long… It all f***ing sucks. Even Nick’s Enemy lick didn’t make me feel much better and I sobbed right through 21 Guns as well.

In some ways it was easier when Steve wasn’t on stage (although My Friend felt the opposite; she was ok-ish as long as he was in front of her), because I wasn’t watching every moment and thinking about how different and wrong it would be when Steve was gone. It meant I was able to pull myself together a bit in Letterbomb and it certainly helped that the fence hadn’t been fully closed so I could see between one arm and about 2/3rds of Nick depending on how he moved. Needless to say, I wasn’t best pleased when he then pulled it shut when there was a break in the bassline. Bastard. Doesn’t he realise how much we needed that?!

I thought September would be hell, but I was oddly ok, kinda numb but ok. Then My Friend put her head on my shoulder at the end and squeezed my hand and I lost it. Unsurprisingly Death Of St Jimmy really didn’t help me pull myself together and what little control I managed to exert over my emotions after that didn’t last through Home Again. As for Whatsername, there’s something in the melody that always gets me, but the boys messing about on the sofa were funny enough that I laughed a little. Alexis sat on Steve this time and Steve pretended to be Alexis’s hands, only due to the angles I could actually see them both and I loved that I could see Steve’s expressions behind him. Steve was sporting a big cheesy grin while he was making Alexis dance, then also pulled appropriate faces when he was pretending to jerk Alexis off… There were some good faces. At the crescendo moment, Steve rubbed his hand in Alexis’s face as though he’d aimed really badly, at which point Alexis stopped the game and lifted his real hand to his face. He pretended to wipe himself off, then rubbed it in Steve’s face, which prompted a grimace from Steve before Alexis departed the stage. It was silly and fun and despite everything it really did make me laugh, only then reality sunk in again and my tears turned to sobs. It wasn’t too dissimilar to the way Matt used to deliver his pre-September one umpanship speech.

No one stood up before Good Riddance, not even us (we weren’t really in the right frame of mind, nor did we particularly want to draw attention to our tear stained faces). On the plus, Nick did the ‘come on’ arms, so maybe a seated audience was what was needed to bring them back. I’d quietly begged for it when he started clapping, then threw my head back with a ‘yes’ when he actually did it, it’s been far FAR too long and I needed that today. At the start of the curtain call My Friend commented to me that she thought Steve had been avoiding looking at us a bit tonight and maybe he heard her (he definitely didn’t hear her) because he grinned up at us for ages in both the curtain call and in Good Riddance. Although he then forgot to do the guitar thing with me… and any other day I wouldn’t have been phased, but… :(. I just threw up my hands in exasperation and looked at My Friend, at which point he did belatedly look round at me, but it was too late by then. Meh. He’d best not f*** it up tomorrow, because I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to do it on Friday.

Tommaso was first out as usual and we hugged him and told him we were sad. He commented that surely we’ve seen it enough by now and must know it off by heart, so can’t we just remember Steve… Which possibly wasn’t the best thing he could have said, but oh well. We did point out that it won’t be the same without him as part of the band, but Tommaso assured us that they’d work something out. I’m not convinced, I think the Steve bits just won’t be bits any more, but I guess we’ll see. Alex joined us after that and we asked him about his Rock The Boat gig on Sunday. He seemed excited about it. He also told us he’d wrecked himself, but seemed fine with that, so I guess it’s ok…?! We told him to tell us next time he’s playing and we’ll try and come down again.

Steve appeared next to us at some point, but I didn’t want to interrupt Alex so didn’t speak to him immediately. Fortunately though, there was a pause in the conversation and Steve came over during the gap. I gave him a hug, as did My Friend, and I admitted that I’d watched him the whole show; I didn’t ever look down. My Friend told him we’d cried, so Amelia said that we’ve still got two days (incidentally that really didn’t help) and think how she feels now she’ll have to come to work without him. My Friend pointed out she gets to go home to him… She was also trying to get him to leave, but needless to say, we weren’t having any of that!

Alexis came over too and stayed when Steve left so we got our hugs then. We chatted a bit about how frustrated we were at not being told about the cast changes and he said they couldn’t tell us, so we assured him we weren’t mad at him. It’s the powers that be (producers, I assume) that we’re angry with. They clearly have no regard for the fans. There’s a new girl too (Charlotte Reavey) and Alexis told us that she’s lovely, but she’s only had a few days rehearsal and could have ended up on for Ex Girl tonight, which is the most technical number in the show. Apparently everyone else had three weeks to rehearse it, although I’m not sure how that fits with Karina’s first one, because I’m sure she’d barely had any time at all. Alexis drifted away after a bit, but I got emotional again, so My Friend called him back to give me a hug. It did help, stopping me from crying again before I’d started, plus he told me not to cry on his t-shirt, which made me smile. My Friend did point out that there was a lot more on his shirt during the show and in Whatsername specifically, but he just laughed and pointed out that’s not his shirt…!

When Nick appeared, he joined the band group by the door and when they started to depart he went with them… As if we were allowing that, today of all days. I called his name and when he looked like he was just going to wave to us, I beckoned him over. My Friend explained that we needed hugs and when he seemed to have no idea what we were talking about, she explained that we were sad about Steve. He dismissed it with a very sexy pfft sort of expression. I don’t think he quite gets it…! However he did give us our hugs and they were as wonderful as always. He was about to leave, when a guy suddenly appeared from across the road and said hello to him. While they were hugging it out, I saw the guy’s face and realised it was Matt Harris…! The two of them chatted for a moment and then Matt apologised to us for interrupting, so I assured him it was fine and admitted we knew who he was. He looked a tad startled then seemed to think he’d met us before, so My Friend explained we’d just seen him in vlogs. I do hope he just felt like he should know who we were, since we obviously knew him… And didn’t actually recognise us from whatever ridiculous ways we’ve got ourselves in trouble…! He is in a couple of Nick gifs though… :P. Anyway, he left a moment later and Nick told us ‘that was Matthias’… to which we pointed out we knew… Dipstick. My Friend said something about Matt being the hot one from the videos.

Llan came out eventually and we chatted to him for a while. He posted an adorable photo of his 5 day old nephew earlier so I mentioned that. Lucas came out in the middle of our conversation with Llan and I thought he was just going to leave with a wave to the group, but he did actually stop when he saw me. I think he knows not to leave without hugs :P. He didn’t stick around, but I got to squeeze him for a little longer than usual, plus I checked on his finger and was reassured to hear that it was fine. He seemed quite worried about it on Sunday.

I actually bumped into Cellen on the tube yesterday too, although I was so busy blogging I didn’t realise it was him until I was getting off. When I noticed him, I said a quick hi and he replied with a soundless hi back, so I assume the poor thing is still on vocal rest. I do hope he gets better soon, I miss him.

Peace, love and Steeeeeeeeve :(,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 16/8/18]

Heart Like a Hand Grenade [AI:113 L:16]

American Idiot: 113, London: 16 (Circle Slips L8)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So this evening was very much a Nick show, although I did try to watch Matt a little. There was a lot of RARGH and eyebrows and even a few smiles and as such this post may be a bit of a fangirly mess. I spent most of the show struggling to breathe… Seriously; my heart was racing the whole evening. Admittedly it wasn’t the best start on the Nick front… There was no stomping in Idiot! I was rather put out, although when we were chatting to Tommaso at stage door he explained that Nick was having a lot of issues with his bass, so that’s why he didn’t stomp. Apparently the stomping f***s with Tommaso’s pedal board sometimes too, but he assured us it wouldn’t stop Nick doing it. It is worth pointing out however, that the discussion we were having was purely about the bass and neither of us said a word about stomping… Tommaso brought that up all on his own. In fact, I’d forgotten to note it down until he said it. I’m a tad concerned that Tommaso knows us a little too well!

Then there was Suburbia. I’ve noticed a few times recently that Nick does a bit of TV fix head turning, although not as blatantly as the cast, so I was happily watching out for that as usual when IT happened… The stretch. There was a build up to it; an extended period of fiddling with in-ears and such, but I guess I could just sense it coming, so I didn’t dare look away and then it happened. A full, two armed stretch with his elbows right up and back… And f*** me it was the most mind-blowingly beautiful thing… I’ve been blogging about the end of tour recently too and reminiscing about stretches, so it’s been especially prominent in my mind. I’ve missed it so much… I just wish he’d do it more often. It was so F***ING sexy. And that was just part of it. He basically killed me in that number, to the point that I felt totally drained by the end of it. I can’t even remember what he was doing, my brain melted so completely. Singing at Tommaso maybe? Whatever it was it was insanely f***ing hot. Plus I know he did that thing in Tales where he leans forward a bit and rests his hand on his thigh. It’s a bit like the prowly thing he used to do before St Jimmy. I still miss that, although I wouldn’t give up the lean now either. I could barely catch my breath by the end and then it was Holiday…!

So there was a bit at some point, which I think was in Holiday, when Nick did this little side to side head wobble thing that made us laugh and I could swear Tommaso looked over at Nick to see what he’d done to make us react like that. I also happened to look down in time to see Matt helping Karina pull their trolley back and forth, but I had no idea what happened to result in that. According to one of my friends, she’d pushed it too hard and knocked him off, but I was totally oblivious. Although I did spot Alexis doing his sexy model pose again while I was glancing down; he was sprawled across his trolley with his head propped up on his hand and one knee bent like a proud adonis. Also on the subject of Alexis, he seems to get a real kick out of spitting on the front row in Waiting, especially if it’s someone he knows. He usually throws in a sort of bitterly sarcastic laugh after ‘story of my life’ anyway, but sometimes there’s an extra glint of amusement in it when he’s just soaked someone on the ‘f’.

Steve made me giggle at the start of Favourite Son when he followed the fence across with his hand held out towards it, but not actually touching it. It looked like he was using the force to open it or something. Then there was St Jimmy and it was just the f***ing sexiest thing ever. I barely even glanced at Lucas although it did make me laugh when he called Matt a little man and I think he even brought back the ‘that is so f***ing cute’ line, only I wasn’t fully paying attention, so I’m not sure. Of course now I don’t have a clue what was so magnificent about it, but both My Friend and I were metaphorically brought to our knees by it, so whatever Nick and Steve were doing worked really f***ing well…!

Then Nick fluffled his hair in the acting casual bit before the band’ll suck line and I squeaked audibly. It was so audible that My Friend cracked up laughing, which in turn made me laugh and it all just kinda spiralled from there. I was nearly crying I was laughing so hard and it’s not like Nick stopped being hot after that; there was a lot of wiping his face on his sweatbands and he’s been wiggling his eyebrows a lot recently… I was nearly hyperventilating and he’d already killed me in Suburbia. There was also a thing in Novacaine (although it’s possible I’m muddling up shows & this didn’t happen tonight) involving Nick and a crescendo face… I mean the whole headbanging business is always scorchingly hot anyway, but adding a f***ing crescendo?! That right there is what dreams are made of. And funnily enough, Rebel didn’t do much to sort out my equilibrium either.

So I think I’ve mentioned this a time or two recently, but at the end of Too Much, Steve definitely grabs at Nick’s bass. I wasn’t sure if he was going for the strings or one of the knobs or what, but he definitely does something. I’d told My Friend to watch out for it today and her thoughts on the matter were that Steve wasn’t going for the bass at all…! So maybe I’m not far off with the theory that he’s grabbing at a knob… :P. Then at the start of Lobotomy I wanted to fluffle Nick so badly my fingers were practically tingling, the urge was so strong. The light catches his hair so perfectly at that moment that it glows, and he was so fluffy today, especially by that point. It was sticking up at all angles and the light seemed to illuminate every single strand. Then there were the fine locks that had collapsed completely and hung over his forehead just begging to be brushed aside… I love it when his hair does that. I wonder if he has any idea how hot that is?

On a rather different note, Matt had a lot of problems with his microphone towards the end. It died during Guns and Alexis had to sing his line for him. Although that did mean we got to hear Lucas reciting the letter again, which was rather exciting, even if it was a shame for it to happen on a special cover day and not at a regular show. He was still having trouble in Home Again, so there was a lot of crackle when he sang on his own, Alexis then had to sing their joint bit by himself and it was only when Matt stuck his face right in Alexis’s for ‘started running’ and got picked up by the working mic that we could hear him clearly. I did wonder how on earth they were going to manage in Whatsername, so wasn’t entirely surprised when they had a show stop just before in order to fix it. I’m glad they did though, it would have sucked if we couldn’t hear Matt properly through that song, especially when this is his last show. As for Good Riddance, Nick is stupidly hot with the clapping and stamping and all, but gimme my ‘come on’ arms back, I miss them :(. Although at least Steve did the guitar thing with me again ;).

Afterwards, we got Tommaso hugs and as I said earlier, chatted to him about Nick’s bass issues [Edit 2018: My note was just ‘He said Nick had problems’ & it wasn’t until I skimmed the rest of the post that I realised what that meant…!]. Rob joined us and then Nick appeared with his bass, although he went over to talk to some friends nearby before he came over to us. He spent much of that time leaning on his case, which prompted a discussion between My Friend & I about how it wasn’t as hot as the phone box lean, after which I noticed that Rob was leaning against said box… but I’ll confess it wasn’t quite the same! Then Nick came over and did a bit more leaning, which we certainly appreciated up close. His arms looked fab, he had his chest out and his hair looked epic. Plus there was a little gap where his shirt sat above the waistband of his jeans, which is always appreciated! We somehow ended up talking to him about his nail polish (I think my friend mentioned it?) so he told us he uses a matt coating and then complained that it takes ages to dry, so he f***ed it up putting his shoes on. I feel his pain :P. My Friend said that he should add glitter and he confessed that one of his friends did that for him once!

After the conversation petered out, he remained stood by us and was just scrolling through instagram so I figured I could interrupt and after noticing his bass case has a TAT sticker, a Champagne Cocaine & Strawberries sticker and had ‘TAT’ spray painted across it, I thought it was an opportune moment to talk to him about the band. I nudged his elbow to get his attention and asked what happened to TAT. He explained that he needed a proper job and couldn’t keep flying over to NYC (where Tatiana lives) and LA. I think we mentioned new music and he said something about how she’s been promising that album for a long time, so I asked if he’s on Anxiety (which is the new single Tatiana released recently). Apparently she’s been sitting on that since 2011, so he is in fact in there somewhere! I couldn’t resist and asked him to promise that we’ll get to see him play live again. He said he didn’t really want to be in a pit, but it’s work, so he implied that maybe he would do it. My Friend said that he’d be wasted [in a pit], but I guess that would be better than not seeing him at all…? Of course, there’s still For Apollo, but when we mentioned it he said he forgot he was in that band… Great start…! Dave told us that they might do something in Feb (I think because Nick isn’t free until then?), so we mentioned that to him and he said he could do November… So now we want to know why he can’t do October…! We really should have asked him.

Jemma came over at some point and smacked Nick’s arse, apparently for the third time today… Some people have all the luck :P. She hung around for a while after that, so joined in with our conversation which somehow ended up on the topic of hair dye. I didn’t quite follow how that came about, but someone(?) asked My Friend if she’d dyed her hair, which confused her. So someone else (Nick?) said that I’d dyed mine… I added that a surprising number of people ask me that question, so I generally tell them it’s natural. Anyway, when Nick went to leave, I waved my arms at him in a ‘come on, don’t be silly’ sort of manner. Nick does not leave us at stage door without a hug, as he well knows :P. He was obviously still holding his bass, but it was a good hug nonetheless; warm and damp ;). I thanked him :P.

When Alexis appeared, he gave us hugs and said he could loiter because he wasn’t hungry [after he ran away with Matt post-matinee… to get food… or so he claimed… :P], only then he went to catch his train… We later had a nice group chat with Matt about how fab it was to have him back, etc. so that made up for the brusque departure between shows! When Karina came out, we spoke to her briefly and she told us she’s on as Ex Girl on Sunday. We mentioned that Emma needs to be back by then and she agreed, adding that she doesn’t want to be Heather! Although speaking of Heather; Tasha B was in watching so we said hello to her and chatted about Funny Girl. My Friend said she’d been in and hadn’t seen her, so Tasha explained that she’s the alternate now, so she’s only on stage when she’s Fanny on Mondays. The rest of the time, she’s just sat in her dressing room, which sounds rather dull. I’m glad I saw the show at the Menier when she was at least on stage in the ensemble! Although I do need to get down to the Savoy on a Monday at some point. Also speaking of old Idiots (although technically he’s still a current Idiot, I suppose), Ross was in too so we got photos with him because damn…!

Steve didn’t come out between shows so we didn’t see him until this evening. When he appeared we went straight over to him and he explained his earlier absence as having something to do with having no water backstage, but I didn’t quite follow that and just commented that it explained Nick (with his water bottles). He hugged us a few times, I think, including a couple of group ones, but then it was all rather emotional because while we were hanging around, someone let slip something they weren’t meant to… Steve’s leaving early to join Footloose and Matt is taking over as Will from next week. Next. Week. And to think there were moments tonight when I actively chose not to watch Steve because I thought I’d have plenty of time to… Needless to say, we did not take the news very well and it doesn’t help that we’re not just losing our Will either. We’re losing all Steve’s interactions with Nick too and that’s such a big part of what I love about the show… It just won’t be the same without him. I mean it’ll still be my show, I’m sure I’ll still love it and I’m better placed than My Friend because at least I still have Lucas, but…

On which note, Lucas came over just after we spoke to Steve and told us about catching his finger on the ladder and really hurting himself. I expressed my sympathies, but at that point I was far too dazed from the all too recent bombshell to say much else. I just gave him a hug and let him go to meet his family (his mum waved to me when I saw her earlier on). Although he did compliment me on my hair, which I was rather chuffed about, not least because another fan had better hair and I thought I’d lose out on the attention as a result :P. Racky was there today too, but we didn’t really talk to her except when she shouted to me over the crowd to ask how many I was up to now. Although that did remind me of something she said the other day that I forgot to record; Apparently Amelia’s tights are designed that way because she’s meant to be the heart-shaped hand grenade, which I thought was a rather cool little insight.

My Friend and I went for a drink afterwards because we needed one and while we were there, we spent some time looking at Footloose dates in a desperate attempt to make them work for us. After such a brilliant day, it was a hell of a crash and on the tube home we were sat leaning our heads together and neither of us could help crying. In fact, we were such a mess that a random woman offered me some tissues… Then when My Friend got off I tried to make some notes, only the first thing I thought to write down was ‘Steve did guitar with me’ and f***. What are we going to do?

Peace, love & hand grenades,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 10/8/18 – It’s been nearly two years. TWO YEARS. It’s taken me that long to work out how the f*** to write up this stage door. I didn’t even know where to start at the time, after all, we weren’t supposed to know about any of this, but how could I write it all up, pretending everything was fine when it was so very far from it? Even last year when I was working my way through some of the old posts and finishing them off, this one proved to be too daunting a task and inevitably I gave up on the whole project. I couldn’t face picking through all the things I couldn’t say in order to put together something publishable and you know what? Even now, reliving it still hurts. Meh.]

It’s Not Easy Having A Good Time [AI:112 L:15]

​American Idiot: 112, London: 15 (Stalls BB11)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

It’s been a while since My Friend and I had a nice chilled out pre-double Sunday tea, cake and stalking session at The Arts and it was rather nice to get back to it. After the technical difficulties we had at our Nick Kent Fanclub meeting the other day, we thought it would be a good time to catch up on some of the videos we missed out on last week. I did keep a fairly close eye on the door, but aside from waving hello to Alice and Rob MD, it was fairly quiet on the stalking front… Until Nick and Tommaso arrived. We were happily watching an old Warped Tour interview with TAT (watch in here) on my phone, which was conveniently propped up against the milk jug and we were settled on the bar side of the room facing the door, so we thought we were safe… :P. Still, I smiled and waved, assuming they’d head straight past us on their way backstage, only then they started coming over… I can only assume they were heading to the bar, but as soon as their course was obvious, My Friend flipped my phone over, leaving it face down on the table. Funnily enough that caught their attention! Nick immediately grabbed for it and flipped it back over, but the motion had closed the video. So we were saved…? Well, no. Because my current home screen is a photo of him from Warped tour. Nick then told us the exact date and location the photo had been taken at, which impressed me somewhat (it was 26th June 2009, Pomona, California. I didn’t take in everything he said at the time, I had to look it up, although weirdly I remembered Pomona even though I’ve never heard of the place), but when I questioned it he explained it was the first day of the tour. Although I was still impressed, I have a terrible memory for stuff like that.

Nick then went on to say that it was the day after Michael Jackson died, which rather inappropriately made me laugh, but only because the interviewer had just mentioned it. I then felt I had to explain myself, so he asked what we’d been watching. I pulled it up again to show him, while My Friend added that he’d just been milking a cow. He didn’t have much to say about it, but I pointed out we’d run out of Whiskey & Things, so we had to find something new. My Friend added that they still haven’t done their Biscuits & Things blog and we’d even bought them some biscuits! (Back in Birmingham we talked about it at stage door & then tweeted them a photo of our biscuits with an open invitation to come & collect them from our hotel that night :P). Tommaso also commented at one point that he’d thought we were hiding my phone case, so I showed it off to them to highlight the fact it’s got Lucas on it and most definitely doesn’t need hiding (I may have a lot of Nick screens, but I’m still drawing the line at a case. Although I am glad I changed the homescreen before today. Having a photo that old is kinda embarrassing, but before that I just had a zoomed in photo of his face all but filling the screen…! The fact it was recent (I cropped us out of our Nick Day photo with him) really didn’t make it look any less weird).

Anyway Nick went to get an espresso from the bar so we carried on chatting to Tommaso while he waited. He was wearing his sunnies again and admitted he actually is hungover today (My Friend keeps winding him up that he only wears them when he’s hungover, which he strongly denies, then rather ruins his argument with days like today :P) following half a bottle of vodka at Mahiki last night thanks to his friend knowing the manager. Although he apparently felt fine today… Ah youth! Nick returned then, so they headed off backstage to ‘do a show’ (one of them said it and the other repeated it). I love them both so much. Incidentally, they were both wearing blueish check shirts and My Friend and I couldn’t help but notice how short Nick’s sleeves were and how beautifully it set off his tattoo sleeve… Not to mention the fact he leaves so many buttons open… I love that. He’s so hot…!

So it was pretty much a perfect start to the day. In fact, I was so giddy I still hadn’t come down from it when the show started, or even when the show ended, but by then I had even more to be giddy about. There was no Emma and no Cellen, which sucked, but the Matt was back once more and it was so good to have him home again. I smiled so much that my cheeks were aching before we were even halfway through the first act. I was so damn happy, it was wonderful :). I also did my best to have a bit of a Matt show this afternoon, because we’re in the slips tonight and given how giddy I was over Nick already, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off him when I was up there. Of course I still watched him a fair bit, but my focus was Matt and he was brilliant once again.

So Alexis has added to his Suburbia can distribution bit and today he rubbed the top of one can over his arse and then rubbed the other over his crotch… He’s such a good friend :P. Although speaking of friends, they seemed to have a bit of an in joke going on today; something to do with that thing about hitting someone’s knee to test their reflexes. When they were over in front of the band in City, they kept doing it to each other and it was really making me giggle. In fact, I giggled rather a lot in the early part of the show. In I Don’t Care, Alexis threw a handful of toilet roll over his shoulder and it landed perfectly on Lucas’s head. Lucas did not look at all impressed, not least because he couldn’t do anything about it until the choreography allowed. My Friend and I were laughing our arses off and I’m pretty sure Alexis was giggling a bit too :P.

Then it was time for Dearly Beloved and Lucas did the pregnancy test dance and I’m sure it can’t have been that long since he last did it, because so many people have been on and off recently, but it feels like ages and I certainly haven’t fully appreciated it in a while. I definitely appreciated it today. I was very happy. Yay! Then to continue on the theme of making us giggle, Alexis seemed to have a new game; how many times can he manage to thump Matt. He managed to rack up quite a few during the argument over Will staying or going, it was hilarious. There was also a lot of throwing things at each other and at me for that matter (albeit unintentionally). When Alexis threw the bag of twiglets to Steve, a whole bunch of them went flying out of the open end of the packet and I got a lapful. I also giggled over Lawrence’s almost spaced out and totally deadpan expression when he went and stood by the bus stop, which didn’t change in the slightest when Llan told him off and he sat down instead. On the flip side, I then happened to notice him looking for something just before boarding the bus, which I assume was his ticket, because he then ducked down and snuck by Llan while he was collecting someone else’s ticket. I don’t know if Lawrence usually does that and I’ve just never noticed, but it really made laugh. It’s probably worth noting that the likely reason I noticed Lawrence today was Steve’s mysterious absence. In fact, he took so long to appear that I was beginning to worry he wasn’t going to turn up at all. His absence also meant that there was no one to push the fence open for the beginning of the number, which then also restricted our view of the band. Admittedly we could still see them, just not as clearly as we’d have liked and Nick did entertain us with some very nice stomping [Edit: I’ve actually realised he always does that, I just don’t notice as much because it normally coincides with Steve walking in front of him], but I was still concerned! Fortunately Steve appeared eventually and pushed the fence aside with plenty of time to do all the brilliant bits with Nick. Incidentally that back to back still just seems to get better and better. Between Steve and his euphoric pose, Nick and his hip thrusting and the way Tommaso encourages Nick, with his mouth open and tongue out… It’s just beautiful!

I had a bit of an ‘oh my G-d, I love Matt so much’ moment in Boulevard, which just made me even more giddy and happy, plus I’m sure Lucas was extra smirky when he came on and I do love an extra smirky Lucas. Then Lawrence was on as a cheerleader and I spent most of the song watching him and Alexis interacting with each other. They have such a brilliantly antagonistic relationship. Alexis also really made me laugh when, following his size comparison with Ross, he picked up a stray twiglet and seemed to be comparing himself to that too, fairly unfavourably…! It was really funny and just made my cheeks hurt even more. It’s not easy having a good time, even smiling makes my face ache :P.

Once again I loved having Matt and Lucas back together in St Jimmy. They work so well opposite one another and not just because Matt really does look rather a lot like Lucas. There’s just something about the way they interact that works so beautifully with Matt’s innocence as Johnny. Lucas is almost gentle with him, it’s kinda sweet. Although that said, when Lucas offered him a pill and Matt took one, Lucas asked if he wanted another pill, threw it at him, then said he can have all of them and threw the whole handful at him :P. Plus Matt fell off the bed of his own accord in the badges scene and Lucas laughed at him, which made me laugh… I love them both so much. I also love how much time Matt spends on the floor! Our favourite little floor cleaner was back :). It was also rather nice to see Matt’s Novacaine crescendo face again…! It’s really quite hot, plus he’s very fluffy too, which is always appreciated.

Nick was all about the eyebrows in the band scene today. There was much raising and wiggling, both in direct response to Matt and then behind his back after Matt stopped paying attention. Although I was thinking… I once established that almost everything I love watching musicians do (in a fangirly sense) originally started with Gary Barlow; HANDS, bouncing… So it really shouldn’t come as any surprise that I love overactive eyebrows too :P. [Edit: Comparing punk rock prince, Nick Kent, to pop royalty, Gary Barlow… That’s got to be a first!]. Anyway, I mostly watched Matt in Rebel, which was fun, but kinda difficult! I did catch our Steve wink though ;). Then I had a bit of time to focus on Lucas and he made me grin, showing off his 4 pack to Amelia in Last Night On Earth (he was posting about it the other day… In fact, f*** it, here’s the photo. Shirtless Lucas. Woo! [EDIT: Or not… I don’t know which photo I was referring to and now can’t find any trace of whatever I was talking about. Meh]). They kept holding up four fingers at each other then he lay back on the stage and she counted each ripple. Not jealous… :P. Then at the end, he pushed Matt over when they were trying to stand up. That made me giggle too.

So after all my overanalysis, the lights were back in Ex Girl! Yay for pretty sparkles! I then ended up slouching as far down in my seat as physically possible during the Lobotomy reprise in a semi-successful attempt to see Nick’s fluff. It was looking particularly excellent today and it moves so beautifully when he headbangs. Although on a rather different note, I had a bit of a moment during the heroin scene… I’m not sure I’ve ever found that bit sexy before. It was though, in a slightly weird way, between the heavy breathing and the way Matt clutched at his neck and the padlock chain. I just found it oddly sensual. Although maybe I was just in a slightly different frame of mind to usual because he knocked the toilet seat off when he got up, which spiced up the scene a tad. Although when we mentioned it at stage door Alexis did tell us it was already broken and it wasn’t Matt’s fault, which is particularly believable coming from Alexis, given how much time he spends picking on him! In fact, they were beating each other up as they left the stage at the end of the curtain call, then when they left again at the end of Good Riddance, Alexis told Matt he’s never working with him again! I do wonder how that will affect this evening’s show… :P. Although on a more serious note, I love their camaraderie, it makes their on stage relationship even more believable.

So that Enemy lick just gets better and better. In fact, I did wonder if he looked at us after to see our reactions, but I’m probably imagining things. I don’t think Nick pays a whole lot of attention to us on stage, which is probably a good thing given how much attention WE pay HIM. Although Lucas pays Nick attention too and I’ve totally forgotten to mention this before, but every now and then when Lucas moves out of the way for Johnny just before the recitation of the letter, he says ‘hi’ to Nick. I love that. Although there used to be a bit when I think Lucas licked Nick’s shoulder and I was only half aware of it before Lucas mentioned it at stage door, except I’m sure he’s not done it since. I think they should bring that back. Nick licking is hot. Lucas licking Nick is also hot. I’m greedy, I want both!

I nearly cried over Matt in 21 Guns and I’m not sure what it was that specifically caught at my emotions, but I loved watching him with Amelia. Plus that moment when Matt taps out a beat against his chest in Home Again on the ‘murmur of a heartbeat’ lyric still gets me. I just love it and still miss it every single time he isn’t there to do it, to the point that even now I can’t help copying it when he’s not there. On a more lighthearted note however, the boys were back to their old tricks as soon as they were reunited and I actually really liked having that running theme through the show; the boys kept hitting Alexis’s knee, only Alexis didn’t move it and looked at them as if to say, it’s fake, you f***tards, what do you think it’s going to do?! Then Alexis revived it again in Whatsername and used the stick to tap out the rhythm of the song against Steve’s knees. Steve kicked his legs appropriately and made me giggle. Anyway, I’ve been skipping about a bit at the end of this post so it’s a bit of a mess, but the only further things I have to say about the show are; I could see Lucas’s face beneath the shadow of his hood when he came forward in the Whatsername reprise of the Boulevard choreography and he looked absolutely beautiful. And hot. Also hot. Plus Steve did the guitar thing with me in Good Riddance. Yay :).

When Tommaso appeared at SD we asked him if he enjoyed Guys & Dolls, then asked Nick too when he joined us. We told him we didn’t think it was his thing and he objected to that, insisting he’s very cultured… And from there the conversation somehow ended up on the topic of a documentary about life-sized sex dolls…! Nick had seen it, as had one of the guys we knew who was also hanging around stage door, but far more importantly, the conversation caused Nick to pull a lot of hot faces…! Especially when My Friend joked that he’d thought that’s what Guys & Dolls was about and that’s why he went! On a less bizarre, but no more appropriate topic, Nick commented ‘Steel Panther’ when he saw my shirt… Which did indeed have Steel Panther on it. He can be so eloquent at times :P. It went down well though. The guy in the Arts cafe also mentioned it and asked if I’d seen them. I told him I’d been on stage with them, which beat him, apparently! And then the barman in Spice commented on it when we went in after the evening show too. I fleetingly felt like one of the cool kids :P.

Anyway, back to stage door. Matt said hi, but then Alexis literally grabbed him and dragged him off for food…! Although we did manage to ask him if he kept track of how many times he hit Matt. He reckoned it was 19 or 20 times. I expected it to be more! Although to be fair he only did it during appropriate sections of the show, so he didn’t have that many opportunities. We also chatted to Llandyll a bit and mentioned how we want to see him drop his pen. Apparently he did once! Gutted we missed it! Then Nick and Tommaso came back while we were still chatting to Llan and weren’t going to stop, but we called Nick back because we wanted photos. My Friend explained to him that it was because he looked really hot today, at which point Llandyll said a jokey ‘well fine then’ and walked off…! Oops! Nick was carrying a 12 pack of water bottles, so he put them down, but Tommaso joked he should hold them… I forget exactly what was said but I think the idea was that if he held them he’d look manly or have his muscles flexed or something along those lines! Nick then objected to my taking them with the sun behind me as it was making him squint, but didn’t suggest an alternative, so I went ahead. He still looked f***ing hot (that shirt really does set off his arm beautifully & the guyliner just took it to the next level), squinting or not! And I couldn’t resist cuddling up to him again for my photo, which is always fun & he never seems to mind too much. Anyway, once we let him go, he escaped backstage and we went off to grab some food before the second show off the day.

Peace, love and rock n roll,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 10/7/17]

Nick Day [AI:111 L:14]

American Idiot: 111, London: 14 (Stalls A7)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

Once upon a time, I came up with a crazy design for a tshirt, featuring our favourite Nickerbocker Glorious. As often happens with my crazy ideas, it then became a reality (we even bought ice-cream sundaes purely for photo manipulation purposes), but on the proviso that we never wore them in public… That went well. So after much debate, today was the day & I was utterly terrified! I felt it was very important to tweet Nick to warn him about the fanclub’s intentions (even though we did vaguely attempt to do so on Danny Day too) and somewhat surprisingly, he replied. Naturally Dave got in on it too & then Nick replied again… And on both occasions made us feel even more nervous with his abrupt one word replies… Erk. In an attempt to calm down & also to hide from everyone before the show, we conducted our first official fanclub meeting in a pub down the road, rather than at the Arts. The minutes can be found here for those who wish to know what was discussed [Edit: My Friend & I really are f***ing hilarious sometimes :P]. And finally, before I get to the actual show, I guess it’s only fair to show off my ingenuous design here too, since everyone else got to see it…

Lovingly edited from Nick’s original photo that I pinched from his instagram…

mrnickkent: It’s a morning for a special juice by @_thebirch_ …..Great night [21/1/14]

So given it was Nick Day you’d think it would have been all about him, but contrarily I actually watched him less that usual…! At least at the start. Even with my cardigan pulled closed (My Friend spent the show with her arms crossed over her chest) I was still ridiculously nervous about the whole thing. My feelings manifested themselves by leaving me too shy to look directly at him and whenever I did attempt to watch him through much of the first half I got the giggles. On the plus, I really missed Lucas on Sunday, so I made up for that today and watched him lots instead (I very much enjoyed his dancing in City again, even though that doesn’t really prove my point since Nick’s behind the fence then anyway). We were second row tonight which should have offered a modicum of protection, only there were two empty seats almost directly in front of us (ironically they were ‘our’ seats) so it felt more like being at the front. Although aside from the near overwhelming urge to hide, I actually rather liked that. I had a clear view through the gap in between BB5&6 and because 5 was empty, it was almost like being front row anyway, only it had the benefit of being slightly further back so there was less neck ache. I think the view of Steve was slightly improved compared to BB5 too. Plus I think Lucas was less obstructed in Boulevard. Everyone bar Cellen was back tonight too.

So I still watched the Idiot stomping and the Suburbia headroll (I noticed that Nick moves over to stand much closer to Tommaso than usual just before Alexis sprays the beer, then moves back after) because I don’t know how not to, but it was too much for me to keep my eyes on him through his Idiot prowling and I just kept glancing at him fleetingly, then looking away. On the plus I saw a lot more of the Alexis and Lucas bits that I always used to be so fond of than I have in a while. Nick really does have a lot to answer for :P. I also watched Steve a fair bit and I forgot to mention this in the last post, but he’s started doing this thing at the start of City that really makes me giggle. After he shifts his arse across the upper level, he sorta dives at the back of the sofa, without really moving the lower half of his body at all, so he ends up sprawling dramatically across the floor with his arms stretched out. I gather he’s reaching for something stored back there (the lighter, maybe?), but there’s just something perfectly Steve-like about it. It’s more energetic than normal, but there’s still an edge of laziness to it, similar to the way he helplessly holds out his arms whenever he drops something off the mezzanine. Like he’s pretending to try and reach for it, whilst knowing full well that the effort he’s expending will never be sufficient to achieve his aim. I’m possibly overthinking this. Point is, it made me giggle at the weekend and I found it just as funny when he did it again today. He sang at us again in I Don’t Care too, but still only ‘from the cradle’ then looked further back again. Ah well, we had a good run of it and as My Friend pointed out, if she has to choose she’d take the Rebel wink over the I Don’t Care line any day :P.

Steve then made me giggle again with his very exaggerated/stoned way of falling down onto his arse at the start of Tales and I was equally amused when Alexis was planking (I think that’s what he was doing, it was hard to tell from the angle) and Newton tickled him to break him out of it (Alexis was doing it instead of his usual sit ups or the press ups he’s been doing recently, just before Newton punches him in the crotch). Still, all that said I did get a mite distracted by Nick at one point, because he did that thing when he leans forward, supporting himself with one hand clutching his thigh in a sort of semi-lunging, prowly kind of pose. He doesn’t do it all the time, but when he does… yummy. Aside from that however, I was watching the main stage more than usual and unsurprisingly Lucas frequently drew my focus so I often found myself watching a lot of the ensemble stuff I don’t usually see for one reason or another. I caught a lot of Lucas’s interactions with the rest of the cast, particularly when they were messing around in the build up to Holiday. For example, Lucas and Amelia were doing this odd but somewhat adorable wiggly dance at each other from either side of one of the trollies. Then when Llan came on to start prepping the bus for the journey, he threw something right in Lucas’s face (a crumpled up ticket or somesuch, I think) and seemed to catch him completely off guard, which made them both laugh. I even watched the main stage in Holiday at times! I mean I still watched the band a lot, but not quite as religiously as usual. I’m glad I did too, it’s been far too long since I’ve watched that properly, plus Alexis made me giggle when he sprawled across his bench on his stomach when the bus was going through the particularly turbulent patch and then waved his arms like he was swimming when Lawrence dragged him back and forth! I also noticed that Karina ended up on Newton’s lap when the bus came to an abrupt halt and she did not seem at all sorry for that fact. Not that I haven’t picked up on her style dozens of times before, but I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned it, so since I’m on the subject; she’s about as far removed from the way Robyn played Libby as it’s possible to be! Robyn was always rather disgusted by Aaron and frequently smacked him whenever he got too frisky. On the flip side, Karina is brazenly flirtatious and uses every bump in the rode to cosy up to Johnny, it’s brilliant.

I had a bit of a moment at the start of Boulevard when it was just Newton on stage and Nick was safely hidden behind his fence. I’ve been so busy lately with all our shirts and costumes and anniversaries and birthdays and understudies and whatnot I think I’d sort of lost sight of the fundamental fact that I just love this show. Yes Nick is hot, yes I love Lucas, yes (when I’m not worrying about restraining orders) the shirts and costumes are fun, but underneath all that is a show I passionately adore and as much as I keep attempting to pretend that the days aren’t ticking past far too quickly, I’m increasingly aware that time is running out. I think I need to make more of an effort to just appreciate it for what it is. Admittedly as soon as the light came up on Steve a lot of those thoughts retreated to the back of my mind because the fluff was truly exceptional this evening, but it was nice while it lasted, just sitting back and enjoying the show at the simplest level.

So I watched Steve and his fluff until the light went down on him again, drooled over Lucas’s hood flipping and smouldering as usual, then reverted to type when Lawrence pulled the fence back from in front of the band before the end of the number, revelating Nick in all his strobe lit glory. Not that the fence makes a huge amount of difference to my view of him at that point, but the slight amount of extra clarity was still a novelty. I also very much enjoyed his pre-Jimmy lean. I couldn’t see him fully from that angle, but the sofa only blocked out his middle, so I had a perfect view of his head and could just about see the ankle crossing too, so I was satisfied :P. I did then watch Lucas through St Jimmy, which was especially fun because he looked at us a couple of times at the beginning and I do so love it when he does that. Admittedly, since Jemma was back, I did allow my attention to briefly dart up to watch Nick jerk off at her (and taste it, it’s so oddly hot when he does that), but otherwise it was all about Lucas.

I think my ‘I can’t look at Nick’ phase officially ended with Novacaine (although I never quite shook off my nervousness, it was just dampened by the steaminess of watching him :P). The end was insanely hot, so much so that I made a concerted effort to remember to note it down, only by the time the show had finished I couldn’t quite remember what it was that I’d found so exceptionally seductive. There was however a moment which may well have been then when Nick’s hand/arm was moving really fast and he had his head tipped back in a Steve-esque euphoric pose and it looked kinda dirty ;). I mean it wasn’t on the same level as Steve’s downright filthy St Jimmy playing, but it was along the same lines and Nick doesn’t really do the euphoric thing much, so it was a bit new and exciting and had a rather profound effect on my equilibrium. Then My Friend got the giggles and I had no idea why (when I asked her later she said it was just because Nick was so hot. Hilarious, right?! She’s so odd sometimes :P) but it was incredibly infectious, so I got the giggles too and by the time Rebel started I was nearly crying I was laughing so hard. I think all the nervous tension just made it worse, not to mention the fact I’m sure Tommaso at the very least noticed the state we were in and there’s a fair chance Nick and/or Steve spotted us too, which just made it all even funnier.

As for Rebel and the build up to it, Nick grabbed his left bicep again when he did the ‘band’ll suck’ lunge and I do love it when he does a bit of grabbing, plus he added an eyebrow wiggle while he was waiting for Newton to reappear and does he know what that does to us? I mean, yes he probably does, but still. F***…! The band boys then made me giggle when Steve showed off his pick to them and they both gave him overly cheesy encouraging smiles and thumbs ups again. Then continuing on that theme I love Nick’s expression when he and Tommaso do the side to side head bopping with Lucas. He pulls this really fake saccharine smile, then when the rhythm changes he suddenly goes from cutesy to fit as f*** and the contrast just makes it even hotter. Today in particular there were so many faces…! All sexy and moody and rargh and I think I may have died a little. I still made sure to watch Steve for the wink and kinda alternated between them for the second half of song, but even so…!

So Lucas didn’t grab Amelia’s arse when he was kissing her in Last Night On Earth. Remember when I was all obsessed with that? Admittedly I don’t watch out for it as much any more, but I was well positioned for watching it today so I made a point of looking out for it and then he didn’t do it! Typical. Although he sorta made up for it just before she left the scene, because he did this thing where he inclined his head ever so slightly, beckoning her in for a kiss, but making her do all the work. It had a ridiculously arrogant edge to it and it was really hot. There was just something about his manner and the air of command in the tiny movement. He did so very little and yet had absolute confidence that his unspoken order would be instantly obeyed. I may have melted a bit…

A few random bits and bobs; Lawrence threw the weed badly in Too Much so had to retrieve it from the floor and carry it up with him, which always makes me giggle. Then at the end Steve did something that I’ve noticed a few times, but I’m still not sure what he’s actually doing… It looks like he’s grabbing at Nick’s bass just before the lights dim, but it seems like an odd enough thing for him to do (and get away with more than once :P) that I’m almost sure I’m imagining it. I then went a bit swoony over Alexis in Ex Girl. I’m not sure what it is about that scene in particular (the bare chest and sexy prowling is clearly unrelated…), but he always looks extra hot in that number. Although I was also a tad confused because I’m sure I could see the wires from the lights on the wings again… Unless they have two sets? Either way, Alice didn’t turn them on. Although on the subject of Alice, I was watching her in the Lobotomy reprise and she looked so anxious and helpless in an overworked sort of way. Like her failing attempts at comforing him were really taking their toll on her.

So there was a lot riding on Enemy today after Sunday, but Nick didn’t let us down. In fact, My Friend reckoned he checked we were watching before he did it, then smirked afterwards. I didn’t pick up on that, but I do think he made it extra good and long for our benefit. What we both agreed on was that it looked very much like Tommaso was laughing at us a lot :P. Despite all that, I still watched Lucas for most of the song, but I did glance at Nick every now and then and there was a magnificent superhero pose at end, made even better by the fact his hair had got all messy again by then and it’s so hot like that. I then reverted to Lucas when the light changed and he made me swoon all over again. I love his pose at the end of Enemy too and he seemed all about the eyes today. He’s very sexy when he widens his eyes and smirks.

I was watching Alexis in Guns again and you’d think I’d have overanalysed this bit enough, but apparently not; After Alice touches him, but gets nothing back from him, she releases him and turns away. What she doesn’t see is the way he responds after that, cautiously reaching out after her, like he isn’t sure if it’s real or not or if he can trust it. There’s almost an air of missed opportunity to it, like he’s regretting not latching on to her when he had the chance. Only Alice is nothing if not determined and when she reappears on his other side and reaches out to him again, this time he isn’t going to miss his chance. He cautiously touches her hand and when she doesn’t move away, he really grabs hold of her (and I still melt every time he does that), finally taking the comfort she’s been trying to offer him the whole time.

I found myself watching Steve’s hands a lot in September, especially the left one, kinda out of curiosity for how he plays it as much as for the enjoyment of HANDS. Incidentally second row was a really nice spot for watching Steve when he was at the front. BB is just too close so I either end up watching his knees (not that I have anything against his knees, in fact I’m quite fond of them, especially The Knee, but they don’t do much in that song :P) or watching Alexis instead. Then when Lucas stumbled on at the start of Death, the kid next to me laughed out loud. I felt a fleeting flash of annoyance (the death of St Jimmy is no laughing matter), then realised quite how ridiculous his hair looked, sticking out in clumps at all angles and I nearly giggled myself. Then he really emphasised the ‘v’ at the end of ‘you taught me how to live’, then seemed intrigued by the sound he’d just made and repeated himself, which also made me giggle. I’m shocked and appalled at myself. Although I did suffer from nervous giggle fits all night thanks to Nick Day, so that partially excuses it, I hope…! On which note… Nick was beautifully lit for part of East 12th Street, which seemed unusual to me, but I’m not sure if it should have done?! There was also a bit at some point in the show when I was specifically watching him play and found myself picking up on the bassline in a way I don’t usually. Of course I now can’t for the life of me work out when it was, but it might have been then? And maybe I wasn’t imagining things and the light on him stayed up longer than normal, so in turn I noticed something I usually can’t see? Guess I can try and watch out for it next time… for ‘research’ purposes, you understand.

I’ve definitely talked about this before, but I’ve not mentioned it in a while, so I thought I would today, since I found myself paying special attention to it; I adore watching Steve’s face in Home Again during Newton & Alexis’s reunion. I love how concerned he always looks as he watches them and the way he doesn’t relax until the boys hug and make up. It’s so cute how worried he is and how much they both mean to him, bless his little heart. As for Whatsername, that was a fun one. For one, Llan threw the pen in a big arc and had to dive a bit to catch it as he was leaving the stage. My Friend and I still have a rather strong (and admittedly rather mean) desire to see him drop it and today was so close…! Then there were the boys on the sofa… And I couldn’t quite see what they were doing at first, but Alexis came on with a toilet roll and furnished them both with a long stream of it. They then started doing something we couldn’t see, but it did appear that Steve had tugged his trousers down a bit and the movement of their shoulders did hint at the motion of their arms… Then when the music changed, they both sorta fell forward a bit and there were some definite crescendo faces, which did rather confirm my suspicions…! They obviously had the tissues to clean up (unlike Nick in Jimmy :P), but after the event Alexis shoved his tissue in Steve’s face, leaving Steve looking thoroughly revolted…! Alexis left then, but they entertained each other with what I gathered to be David Brent impressions as he departed. It was the premiere of his film this evening, or something like that, and I think the boys nipped down after warm up to see Ricky Gervais performing in Leicester Square.

So despite being insanely self conscious about my shirt, we stood up at the curtain call as usual. No one else did, which today of all days was particularly awkward, but hey, f*** ’em. As uncomfortable as I felt, I really do hate sitting down for Good Riddance now and at least they got a proper standing ovation after it. Still, the band were laughing a lot at the start and I wasn’t sure why, which made me extra paranoid (in retrospect I don’t think anyone actually spotted our shirts until stage door, but I didn’t know that then), plus Nick seems to have all but abandoned the ‘come on’ arms, which is highly disappointing, but the clapping and stamping is still hot, plus Lucas smiled at me near the beginning and Steve grinned at us too, plus did the guitar with me, which was appreciated as ever, so it wasn’t a total disaster!

Tommaso was out in record time and laughed at our shirts… We explained to him what we’d done with the design, including getting ice creams specially to edit in. He didn’t know what a knickerbocker glory was, but he is Italian & has only been here a few years, so that’s fair enough really. Although he then told us that they’re healthy in Italy… Ha. I guess I imagined the plethora of gelato shops I’ve frequented whenever I’ve been there?! He also told us he’d seen the tweets, so we explained we’d thought a warning was necessary. From what he said, I gather they weren’t sure what to expect, but sorta expected something worse, which was what I expected they’d expect…! There were also a few comments about making Tommaso shirts (or everyone shirts), but I had to put my foot down. I have enough designs to be getting on with! We then moved on to chatting about theatre. He’s going to see Guys and Dolls tomorrow so we talked a little about that as well as discussing various Mischief Theatre productions. He’s seen all their stuff and loved it.

A few other people saw our shirts as they were leaving and laughed their arses off and/or called us crazy. In fact, there were lots of one word reactions along those lines. Phil’s response was to joke that Nick’s gay (as if it would make any difference to anything!). Alexis rushed for the early train, so we didn’t really get to talk to him but he still made time for our hugs. He reacted to our shirts in much the same manner as everyone else.

When Emma appeared we welcomed her back and chatted briefly. She’d had her hair done, so it’s very blue now. I actually noticed it on stage, but it was lovely up close too. We talked about her missing our dress up, but promised we’re doing it again and added that we’d remind her of the date nearer the time so hopefully third time lucky! Steve and Amelia then nearly ran away as they hadn’t seen us, but Steve heard us so looked back and immediately returned in a really overdramatic manner. My Friend asked him what they were doing in Whatsername and he informed us that they were masturbating, adding that they did it into tissues because they’re tidy boys or some such. He also confirmed that he had indeed pulled his trousers down. He was so matter of fact about it, I loved it!

Nick took ages, to the point that we wondered if he was hiding. We even joked with Tommaso that he was going to sneak out another way to avoid us, but he appeared eventually. He did look a bit shell shocked, but less scared than I’d feared and he didn’t run away…! And then My friend blamed it all on me…! I admitted to the artwork though and told him I was rather proud of it, to which he said he didn’t remember that shot, or something like that. Funny, that! My Friend also told Nick it was like he was famous and we discussed making a shirt for Dave too, in bright pink just like ours. Apparently Nick has lots with Dave’s face on, so really it’s only fair! The rest of the band were amused too, especially Rob who’d initially thought we were just wearing Danny shirts.

We obviously had to get photos with Nick, at which point he decided he wanted one too! Tommaso gleefully offered to take them. I can’t say I was complaining about getting to snuggle up to him for the extra photos, although I do think I left my arm around him for too long, plus kinda rested my head on his shoulder fleetingly when being shy a couple of times, which I do far too often when I’m feeling awkward, even though it always makes me feel more awkward as a result…! Still, he’s very difficult to move away from sometimes! He was very damp today too, it was sexy. And his hair is really long now, so has a lot of height, which makes him look exceptionally gorgeous. I also wasn’t complaining when he showed us the photos Tommaso had taken on his phone. Any excuse for an extra cuddle!

So it certainly wasn’t as bad as I’d feared, but I still felt like an idiot. I mean he didn’t run, but he did look a bit freaked out! My Friend told him she’d hoped he’d find it funny and not weird, so I added that we at least hoped for both. By that point however, I figured we may as well get all the crazy done with, so I showed him the SuperNick badges I made… and gave him one… He didn’t seem to want it and only reluctantly took it because I ‘went to so much effort’, so that was fun… :/. My Friend joked that he could keep it and look back on it when he’s in the old age home, to which he said something about there only being two of us. I pointed out that two is better than none! I then held out my arms for a hug before he left and he seemed to be expecting that – he’s well trained :P. My Friend thanked him for not running away & then he finally made his escape. All in all, it was funny, but I’m not sure I’m glad we did it. It was more embarrassing than anything else. [Edit: In fact, reading back on this now still makes me cringe a bit & we’ve done much worse since…! #lickmybaubles]. We showed our shirts off to Newton when he appeared too and he seemed a bit stunned. We told him we’d been worried that Nick would be scared and he said from what he knew of Nick, that was likely…! I was excessively glad that we’d already seen Nick by then or I may actually have run away!

On a final non-Nick note, we had a nice little chat with Llan & My Friend showed him an old photo of a blond haired him that had been shared in our messenger chat. He told us he’d only been 15ish at the time, bless! He then headed off as he has an audition at 10am tomorrow. Lucas took ages as he had a new agent in and was all dressed up for the occasion in a lovely pale pink shirt and black blazer. He looked very dapper indeed! He had to go back inside after seeing us too, but came out to see us for a quick chat, plus I got my hug and told him I’d missed him Sunday. He said he’d missed him too!

Peace, love & Nickerbocker glories,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 9/7/17]

Idiots Assemble [AI:110 L:13]

American Idiot: 110, London: 13 (Stalls BB5)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

We started the day off in full stagey fashion, at a football match… Although it was Les Mis V Phantom. We only stayed for the first half as we had to get back to town for Idiot, but we had fun ogling Niall Sheehy in his shorts while we were there, plus we caught the interval (half time) acts who were the reasons I was there in the first place; Barricade Boys (feat. Cameron Sharp) who sang a Jersey Boys medley, which was ace and Nathan Amzi, who sang a couple of rock numbers and smashed it as usual! I saw Cam briefly too, so got to say a quick hello to him :).

We knew before we left Bromley that Lucas was off because our friend at the matinee sent us a photo of the cover notice, but what hadn’t been announced (although we found out anyway when someone unconnected with the show tweeted about it) was that Natasha Barnes was back for one day only, covering Heather! Whoever does the cover announcement before the show sounded rather chuffed when she announced that! It transpired that Emma, Karina and Jemma were all off sick, so we’re very lucky they didn’t cancel, plus it was awesome to see Tasha back, but it was a shame that so many people were off today of all days, because after weeks of planning, there were 11 of us there today, taking over the vast majority of the front row, all in costume. It was like organising a military operation, especially whilst keeping it a secret from the company, but we managed it and there were plenty of surprised faces when the curtain dropped! That said, obviously Cellen spotted us first when he came in at the start. He was deadpan as usual for ages, but I guess with all of us staring at him, it was inevitable he’d end up smiling a little. One of my friends later told us that he’d been looking down the row and presumably he’d initially thought there was no Theo, until he belatedly spotted him in the row behind (our Theo was a late addition to the party, along with Ex Girl). Racky was also in, up in the dress, and didn’t catch sight of us until we were all in our seats so she got the full effect too! I was in BB5, which is my Lucas seat (I have a slightly restricted view of Nick from there and a rubbish view of Steve when he’s playing) so I was especially gutted he was off, plus we had two Lucases (Lucai?!) in our group as we had a Josh as well as a St Jimmy, so it was a real shame he didn’t get to see it. We also had a Gerard and since Lawrence doesn’t wear Llan’s costume when he covers him, that was another mismatch. I was Heather, since I’m the only one with the dress, so I was also particularly disappointed that Emma missed it again too (incidentally my oh-so-clever nickname in our top secret group chat was ‘Heather’s running away with Nick :P’ and I’m standing by that. He could totally be my rock ‘n’ roll boyfriend 😉 ). Still, it was fun to do & even I was impressed with how awesome everyone looked! Idiot really does have some of the best fans ;).

Soooo, the show; Alexis sat on Steve’s lap right through the gaming sequence, blocking his view and generally making me giggle. He then rubbed the tops of both beer cans against his arse today, rather than just Newton’s. Lucky Steve…! Anyway, I’m not sure what Nick was doing during Suburbia, but he seemed to be closer to Tommaso than usual and therefore wasn’t quite in place when it was time for the head roll. It was still hot obviously, but it did seem a bit off kilter and not quite as slick as usual. There was then no one (on stage) for Newton to show Steve’s arse off to, so after he’d looked around a bit, he just shrugged and did it anyway. Perhaps Johnny was subconsciously aware that somewhere out there, beyond the fourth wall, there was still a captive audience?! Anyway, Steve sang at us in I Don’t Care, but only for a little bit of the first line. I think the angles are just wrong now, so he has to look down too far and therefore doesn’t do it. Sucks.

And then there was Tasha and I’d forgotten what a powerhouse she is. I loved hearing her sing again and I’m now kicking myself for leaving it so long without going to see her as Fanny in Funny Girl. Even before she got to sing properly, she caught my attention and I could hear her trying to defend herself to the other patrons of the 7-11, trying to pretend she was just looking at toothbrushes or something and not pregnancy tests. As for Dearly Beloved, she sounded fantastic, her voice is insane! It was an absolute joy to listen to her sing the part again (not that I don’t love Emma too, I just loved getting the chance to see Tasha too).

In Tales, Alexis was doing pushups and eating crisps off floor again, only this time he was showing off to Newton, by adding claps in between his pushups. I was suitably impressed. Although I still found myself watching the band Bang Bang… I do so enjoy watching the band bang… :P. And on the subject of sexy; Scary Sexy Jimmy was back! Annoyingly I couldn’t see him properly in Boulevard, but still. He’s scary even with a restricted view!

Favourite Son was another interesting one, so much so that I managed to resist watching the band too much (helped by the fact I couldn’t really see them too well…). They only had Alice and Lawrence cheering, but they certainly made the stage their own. Plus Lawrence got to do the bit where he kneels in front of the screen at Ross’s crotch level (he did it a couple of times right near the beginning of the tour, but Karina’s been doing it since and she’s flirtatious rather than crude :P) and he really went for it with the back and forward head movements. There was no mistaking what he was getting up to, it was hilarious! And as if that wasn’t genius enough, when Alexis was contemplating life whilst facing the wall, Lawrence went right over to him and smacked him on the arse. It was brilliant! I love Lawrence as a cheerleader!

So I managed to work out which bit of the show makes the band look like backing singers; St Jimmy. It’s at the start, before the ensemble come on, so it’s just Johnny and Jimmy, but the band are in the background, strumming in a similar style (fast, furious and f***ing filthy) and all singing along with the chorus-y bits (‘patron saint of denial’ etc.). It’s kinda funny :P. Anyway, with no Lucas, I thought I’d end up watching the band a lot, but Llan caught my attention when he was sat on the toilet and then he did this hip thrust thing and it was hot as hell…! Scary Sexy Jimmy indeed! He also made me laugh with his whistle, which made a really odd noise that was more of a halfhearted squeak than a fanfare. He then went back down the scary route when he shouted the badges line and there was a rather vicious edge to it, but there was a level of excitement to it, like a kid play fighting with a younger child, when he doesn’t yet realise his own strength.

And then there was Nick. And fluff. Nick isn’t often fluffy, but there was another incident of not enough whatever he puts in it and as the show progressed the quiff thing he has going on began to collapse. Again, I’m sure that’s not the look he’s going for, but I really really wish it was. He’s hot anyway (I believe we’ve established that point quite firmly at this juncture?), but when his hair’s a mess…? Holy f***ing hell. And the best part about it all? When it starts to flop, he fluffles it and he’s even hotter when he fluffles. I could kinda see it coming tonight too, because I could see it starting to come down prior to Novacaine, so the headbanging then made it significantly better/worse. And then the pre-Rebel sequence happened and he always makes an extra effort to look nonchalant then, so hair fluffling fits perfectly. Sure enough, he did not disappoint. While he waited for Newton to draw attention to them, he ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to restore it to his usual style… Once… Twice… And then he ran his arm across his forehead, wiping it with the sweatband around his wrist… My Friend later told me that she’d considered elbowing me to make sure I was watching, but I have a habit of looking at the wrong thing when she does that (it’s often hard to guess if she wants me to look at Steve or Nick), so she didn’t dare risk it and just hoped I was looking in the right direction. Apparently she then guessed I had indeed been looking because I made an audible noise… Oops. I really need to learn to control myself :P.

So Rebel was quite Steve heavy for me today. He hadn’t really acknowledged My Friend’s costume (naturally, she was Will) prior to that, but at the start he looked down at his shirt then up at My Friend a couple of times with a faux-confused expression on his face. Of course he winked at us as usual, but someone got in the way and I missed The Knee even though I was watching for it. Sad times. I then watched him a little more than usual as there was no Lucas to distract me and Llan doesn’t interact with the band in the same way. Steve also held my attention through Last Night… When I wasn’t distracted by Nick, which admittedly happened for quite an extended period. I’m not even sure what happened, I don’t think he did anything, I just found myself staring and then couldn’t stop! I also couldn’t tell if he’d caught me or not, because it was too hazy. He was facing in our direction, but whether he was actually looking out at us is another matter entirely. I sorta felt like he must have noticed; I wasn’t even trying to hide it and there wasn’t exactly any one else I could have been looking at in that direction. I also thought that maybe his mouth quirked up into just the faintest hint of a smirk a time or two, but I was probably seeing things.

I at least partially managed to tear my attention away from him when Tasha came on, simply because I wanted to watch her while I had the chance. I don’t really watch girls at the best of times, but certainly not when Lucas is on stage, so I’ve not really watched Heather properly in Last Night, but the way she crooned over the baby was so cute. Then I watched her with Steve quite a lot at the end and once she gave up on getting his attention and stood up, she seemed really upset (Emma tends to go down the angry route instead, which works equally well. I reckon both emotions are struggling for dominance in Heather at that stage), to the point that she looked like she was going to cry. Steve is still ridiculously cute when he realises he’s f***ed up and needs to fix things, then does the adorable finger glasses thing too. I’ve not watched him properly in ages either. Then Tasha had to do Too Much on her own and again, I just loved listening to her sing, although I loved the way she acted it too, especially when Steve tried to stop her leaving and she seemed torn between fond exasperation and the underlying frustration that had pushed her into leaving in the first place.

I had a bit of a moment before Lobotomy, because when the light changed, it caught Nick’s hair perfectly. The rest of him was shrouded in shadow, but the top of his head positively glowed and every single stray wisp and strand was illuminated, making it look even messier and fluffier than ever. It looked so magnificent I couldn’t take my eyes off of it and I know he let us fluffle last week and asking the once was cheeky enough, so I wouldn’t ask again, but ohhhh how I wish I could run my fingers through it one more time… And then there was Enemy. My seat wasn’t well positioned for watching him when there’s someone else (aside from Steve) up there with the band, because he moves over a bit to make room (he was almost entirely blocked by the sofa when he did the lean before St Jimmy, but I entertained myself watching him cross his ankles in the gap beneath it, plus I could sorta see the top of his head if I stretched a bit… :P). I could still see about 3/4 of him though, so I leaned as far over as I could in an attempt to get the best view of him. My Friend then did the same, although I’m still not sure she could really see him (the cheerleader I was sat next to seemed somewhat bewildered when my head practically ended up on her shoulder!) but then NICK DIDN’T LICK HIS BASS… I mean, whaaaa…?! I know I didn’t have the clearest view, but of all the days not to do it, why did it have to be the one when there was no Lucas to distract me with his tingly note?! Apparently My Friend could tell that he definitely hadn’t done it because I made a noise then too… Oops. Although when we discussed it later, we did wonder if he’d intentionally skipped it just to wind us up, since we couldn’t have made it more obvious we were watching for it had we held up banners. In the meantime, Tommaso looked amused again, although there did seem to be an edge of confusion, as though he was wondering what we were looking out for? I may have imagined that though.

The low cast numbers left Amelia on her own in Letterbomb, but I was a tad distracted by Nick and then Tasha (who was eyeing up Steve’s guitars like she was considering packing them up too) so I didn’t watch her as much as I did last time, but she sounded excellent. Then Cellen sang East 12th Street on his own, with Alice helping him move the desk and no other ensemble on stage. In retrospect I’m not sure why Lawrence didn’t cover Llan then, but perhaps he was prepping for his bonus scene… Because it would seem (for obvious reasons) they no longer have the footage of Tasha’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Girlfriend, so she performed it live with Lawrence in front of the band. Admittedly it would have been rather nice to have Ross’s Rock BF back as a one off too, but there was apparently a show a few weeks ago when Lawrence sang it live and I’ve been dying to see how that worked ever since. I didn’t actually watch Steve, but I assume he just took it back to the old version where he stayed in front of his own TV (he certainly didn’t climb down). It was actually a shame to miss that, because I always did love the way the ‘screen’ lit his face in that scene, but who knows if I’ll ever see that song live again, I wasn’t going to miss it! Although I apparently also missed Steve throwing the remote at the sofa again, only he did it with such force it bounced straight off again, flew in an arc over the stage and hit the arm of the aforementioned cheerleader sitting next to me…! Fortunately she was ok and it was really funny. My Friend and I were in fits! It was especially amusing after the conversation we had with Lucas the other week about them having to be careful nothing ends up in the audience, from the 7-11 boxes to the twiglets Alexis used to bat at us (he’s not allowed to do it any more). As for Lawrence and Tash, they basically just acted out the video and dispensed with throwing babies arround by changing the ‘kid’ lyric to ‘gig’. It was really cool though, especially with the band behind them giving them an extra edge of realness (although Lawrence could maybe have done with a rockier tshirt than the bright green one he wears in the City scenes :P). Anyway I can’t usually see Nick properly then, so that was also quite the novelty! I was far too distracted watching the cast to even think about fully appreciating it though and just half watched his face out of the corner of my eye. I will confess I’m kicking myself slightly now… I could have watched his hand, fully lit, unrestricted by the fence… I’m an Idiot :P.

So the change in the previous scene meant that the fence didn’t get pulled back across the band as usual and I went some way to making up for not properly appreciating Nick in Rock GF by watching him far too much in Home Again. It turned into another one of those ‘I’m staring right at him in the most blatantly obvious manner and can’t work out if he’s looking back (and laughing) at me’, but I enjoyed myself. He’s so pretty! I then watched Llandyll do the hood flip and had a far superior view of him than I did in Boulevard, before watching Alexis and Steve start doing the arms thing again (where Alexis sits on Steve and Steve pretends to be his arms). They were enjoying a little boogie when Tasha unexpectedly joined them, with the baby in her arms! Alexis sat back down on the sofa and she gave Vinnie to him, while she perched on the arm, watching him pretending to scare the baby in a very cute way (he was curling his fingers into fists, then flicking his hands out and saying ‘rah’ or something like that, right in Vinnie’s face). When it was time for Alexis to go, he handed the baby off to Steve who cooed over it a bit before eventually returning him to Tasha when she had to leave the stage too. The whole sequence was SO cute and having Tasha there with them too just melted me completely! I had a bit of a moment. I nearly cried!

Good Riddance was fun, even if Nick only did a half hearted one armed ‘come on’ (he’s really letting us down with that at the moment!). Steve grinned at us a lot and when our cheerleader waved the remote at him he sheepishly came over and bent down a bit, offering his arse to her so she could slip it into his back pocket! Llan and Steve then lay flat on the floor in front of us, so Cellen joined them a little further over and Lawrence then placed himself sprawled over Steve & Llan’s legs, which was especially enteratining when they were right in our faces. And after they stood up, Steve did the guitar with me. Woo! That one’s also more fun when I’m closer :P.

Post-show, Tommaso was out first and was very chatty today, I adore him! We commented that he’s always first, so he pointed out he doesn’t have makeup to take off. He was impressed and amused by our collective costume efforts. We chatted to him about Tasha & he explained that they weren’t allowed to tweet about her. My Friend responded that following rules isn’t very punk, to which he said he’s not punk & he though we’d established that a while ago, bless! As for the rest of the band, I’m not sure what happened to Alex as I’m convinced I saw him leave but he disappeared before I could speak to him. Nick however, we saw coming & he was wearing his black button neck shirt. Oh yes! He was also with Steve & Alexis and the three of them came out together. The cast boys had cans of Budweiser & Alexis was so exhausted he was sorta dancing around like he was drunk, it was rather funny. In a turn up for the books, he then talked to us about being tired… :P. Although he still made sure to give us our hugs before he was going to leave, even if he then didn’t actually leave for some time after that!

Steve was happy and chatted about Will shirts with us. We asked about the shirt he’s currently wearing and he confirmed our suspicions that he’s back in his old West End one. He told us they need tips on tshirt making since his tour one fell apart and complained that his old one is like a nightie! My Friend also pointed out to him that she had the right shoes this time (after he complained that were wrong last time, in Bromley), but he assured her that was just ‘banter’! We then ended up talking about how cool it would be to get photos of us all on stage. It was Steve who initially said it, but Nick picked up on it and the way he was talking it sounded like he wanted to take a photo of us on stage… (can you imagine?!). I said if there was any way he could make it happen… They said maybe in the last week. We weren’t going to hold out for that though and got photos with Steve then and there. He gave his beer to My Friend to hold when I wanted a photo with him on my own and he grabbed me for a hug, completely of his own accord!!! He then asked us if we liked the video he’d posted of him playing Footloose on Nick’s bass (obviously we did), then showed us the end of it that he’d cut before sharing it, in which Nick is standing in the doorway, then comes fully on to the stage, looking unimpressed! I wish he’d posted that one :P.

We didn’t see Cellen properly again, which sucked (we keep missing him), but our Theo had his own remote, which all the other boys were very impressed with! Or they were once they realised he wasn’t carrying around the stolen show remote that Steve had launched off the stage, but his own that he’d brought from home specially! We did see Amelia though, so had a nice chat about being on her own in Letterbomb. She told us she’d enjoyed it! Steve then danced her round the circle to Let It Be (courtesy of the busker across the road), before he and Alexis had something of a moment… I do like it when our boys have moments together :P.

Not that our boys can’t have moments on their own… We were happily minding our own business when we happened to turn and find that Nick was still hanging around, leaning on the phone box with his left elbow propped against it and his hand supporting his head. It was a little like a one armed stretch, but held in a pose and aside from it being insanely sexy, it also made his shirt ride up a lot. He looked absolutely f***ing beautiful & nothing about my description even comes close to doing the moment justice. We naturally got very giddy and there was a brief discussion over whether we could get a photograph, but I guess that drew his attention and he looked up at us, thwarting any further attempts at sneakiness. In response to his gaze My Friend waved at him, so he gave us a funny look and looked behind him in a ridiculous pretense that there was the slightest chance we could have been looking at something other than him. The movement broke the pose and the moment was lost forever, preserved only in our memories.

Before she left, Tasha came over to say hi and we gave her a warm welcome back. We chatted about how different this is to Funny Girl & she told us she’s on as Fanny tomorrow. We said we’d have to see it on a Monday when she’s on, especially as she’s off stage the rest of the time (I’m glad I saw it at the Menier now, at least she was on). We saw Racky & Newton too, so the full group of us got photos with them both.

We also had a long chat with Llan about all sorts from the craziness of the show to tattoos to the fact he’d had his hair cut five minutes before the performance. We asked after the various missing cast members, so he told us that Lucas was dizzy yesterday, Jemma hurt her back and went off during show last night, Emma has glandular fever and Karina has a bug, poor bubs :(.

So after all of that, My Friend and I were still giddy, so we headed to the Spice Of Life for a post-show drink to wind down, at which point the best thing ever happened on twitter…! It started off with me tweeting a perfectly innocent comment… 😛

Can’t believe @NickKent didn’t lick his bass in Enemy tonight… And after we leaned sideways especially to see it too! Heartbroken 💔

To which My Friend responded with:

Yeah but at least @NickKent did that sexy lean against the phonebox at sd to make up for it! #hotleaning #sdswooning

And we were perfectly content with our silliness, happily sipping our drinks whilst re-living our ‘SD swooning’ and then… Tommaso replied (completely unsolicited, I might add!) and his reply was pure gold:

I swear in that moment he told me “I’m probably Gif material right now”

Have I mentioned how much we adore Tommaso?! [Edit: Even now I still think it’s one of the best tweets we’ve ever received & #gifmaterial has been a thing ever since]. And just in case we weren’t already giddy enough, Nick then replied to my initial tweet…! A reply from him is rare enough that we’d have been disproportionately excited at the best of times, but this was a whole new level of indulging us:

Sorry, I was a little tight for room tonight at that point so had to cut it out… Not like you haven’t seen it before!

I mean we know that he knows that we love all the sexy little things he does in the show, but he never usually acknowledges it! The giddiness after that (especially as he liked (& therefore acknowledged) Tommaso’s ‘gif material’ tweet too) was off the chart!

[Edit: I didn’t write any of this up at the time, beyond ‘the best thing ever happened on twitter’, so it’s hard to truly capture how we felt at the time, but even just reading through those tweets now has made me stupidly giddy. I f***ing love those boys. I loved them then, I love them now & dear G-d I miss the days when they were together and we had days like this.]

Peace, love & gif material,
K xx

PS. If it had been any other day, this blog would have been titled Gif Material. I’m quite disappointed that it’s not 😛

PPS. For the record, between us we had Johnny, Will, Tunny, Whatsername, Heather, St Jimmy, Theo, Ex Girl, Josh, Gerard & a cheerleader!

[Actual publish date: 6/7/17]

Danny Day [AI:109 L:12]

American Idiot: 109, London: 12 (Circle L8)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

My Friend and I met earlyish and then had nothing much to do, so went and got magnums… :P. It probably cost us the chance to see a couple of late arrivals, but it was delicious. I made a total mess, but thankfully managed not to spill anything down my Danny shirt :P. We had hoped to get Nick to wear his too (we tweeted him about it while we were still out at Proud), but figured he hadn’t got the memo (or else had decided to ignore it) when he posted a selfie set on instagram with his nephew. It was admittedly very cute, but we were slightly disappointed. It would have been epic to get a photo of all three of us wearing them. He wasn’t even wearing one of his sexy button neck shirts to make up for it, either. Instead he was in a mustard coloured tshirt (at least it had a slight v neck) that he wore the other day… I’m not sure anyone else could still look hot in that shade, but he manages it somehow!

So I’ve been incredibly slack on my note taking the last few shows and the blogs have been suffering accordingly. Tonight however, I was back on form which was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand it’s good to know I haven’t lost it, but on the other it doesn’t half take time to write it all up and while I’m still desperately playing catch up, this was actually the last thing I needed. Especially after a 3000 word entry in #AweSum! Still, I guess it was inevitable. It was a rather odd show cast wise and it just kept on surprising me. Lawrence appeared to be on for Theo, only when the curtain dropped, Cellen was there…! We later gathered that Cellen must have been struggling vocally, because Lawrence sang the opening and Too Much Too Soon, even though Cellen was around through it all. We missed him at stage door though, so we couldn’t confirm our suspicions. There was also no Jemma, which I didn’t actually notice until Suburbia… Oops. Although in my defence I was mostly watching Nick and only looked down at the stage to eye up a couple of my boys. Speaking of whom, Alexis did the thing where he holds the weed out of Steve’s reach and pushes him back with his free arm when Steve desperately tries to get hold of it. I like it when they do that, it’s cute. I then watched Lucas through most of City because apparently I missed him in that number. I don’t watch him anywhere near as much as I used to & I can’t even blame Nick for that one, since he’s mostly hidden behind the screen. It’s all been about Alexis and Steve lately. Besides, with all the weirdness with cast, I wasn’t 100% sure he’d be on as Josh and it was such a relief to find that he was, that I couldn’t not watch him. It was rather nice too, I’ve missed watching all his sexy dancing ;). I do have one other note about the end of City, which I forgot to include the other day; Cellen has taken to holding out his tshirt to collect the rainbow drops that Newton throws (instead of popcorn) and then wandering around with a very self-satisfied grin, eating them out of the makeshift pouch. A few people tend to steal them and today he responded to one with an adorably petulant ‘hey, they’re mine!’. I guess he really likes rainbow drops though, because he also grabbed a handful of uncrushed ones off the stage to munch on when he headed over to sit down at the bus stop. Also, continuing on the food theme, Steve always tips out a handful of twiglets so when he runs out of time to throw them individually for Alexis to catch in his mouth (they did well with that today), he just throws whatever’s left in Alexis’s face. Tonight that meant Alexis dropping to his knees and almost diving into the shower of snacks with his mouth open. It made me giggle.

It always amazes me that even when he doesn’t know we’re in, Steve always manages to locate us. I know we only have a limited selection of seats we generally sit in, but even so. Tommaso is perhaps less impressive because he spends the show looking out at the audience and therefore has more than enough time to spot us, but he did seem to clock us incredibly early today! I’m also fairly sure he actually laughed at us watching Steve watching Nick in Holiday… Admittedly there may have been swooning… And when I say swooning, I may well have risked falling off my seat had there been anywhere to fall to (the slips are kinda snug). I don’t even know what was different, but it felt extra hot today. I mean I’m sure they just exchanged their usual glances and Steve did his normal tongue waggle at the head of Nick’s bass, but something definitely made My Friend and I giddy. Maybe Nick added in some eyebrows? There were definitely a lot of eyebrows in the early part of the show. There were also a lot of epic faces being pulled, some of which involved a bit of tongue… I also love how tiny Steve looks next to Nick in that bit. It’s not such a dramatic difference most of the time, but I think Nick stands up straighter than normal and Steve slouches a lot anyway, but with his head bent over the neck of the bass, he looked even littler. It makes them even cuter together!

So the confusion with people in odd places continued when I spotted Lucas raving behind the fence at the end of Boulevard, but it turned out it was because Lawrence was on cheerleader duty, covering Jemma, so presumably he had to go get changed. I think he has a new vest too, but I might be wrong about that and despite my best intentions (I really do love Lawrence as a cheerleader), no one on the main stage could hold my attention in Favourite Son tonight and no matter how often I glanced down, I couldn’t tear my eyes off the band for long enough to really appreciate him. Although I did manage to spot Amelia hanging out in her little balcony cubby hole thing – but that may have been because Steve acknowledged her? Not sure. My Friend noticed her too though and I don’t think either of us had spotted her there before. The ‘begging for it moment’ was also fairly magical today, although there was less prowling and more wiggling… While Steve watched from the sofa, Nick did this weird little dance thing… It was cute, funny and sexy all at the same time. I’m really quite sure that Nick is a superhero. Surely no one should be capable of being all those things at once whilst wiggling their hips in a faintly ridiculous manner… And then it really was superhero time. That pose in Waiting…! He looked magnificent. Also that single strum thing My Friend kept going on about? When he barely moves, but just plays one note every now and then…? F*** yes. I don’t know how or why it’s taken me so long to really notice it… I’m going to have to blame Alexis, although he’s been off frequently enough that I’m aware that’s somewhat unfair…

So it seems I’m not wrong about Nick aiming his filthy behaviour at Jemma in St Jimmy because without her, he didn’t do it. He still stood there looking down at the ensemble in a provocatively cocky manner, but his hands lamentably stayed by his sides. Fortunately he made up for that by pulling a lot of sexy faces at the other band boys. Also, Lucas made me giggle mimicking Alice, jumping up and down with his arms in the air and a faux-innocent grin while he waited for Newton to return to the bed. He’s been doing that a lot recently with various ensemble members and I love it!

So after our discussion with Dave on Tuesday about Nick’s headbanging talents, I think I was even more aware of the craziness of it today. I was watching him in Novacaine (as usual) and I just don’t get it! I mean how the hell…?! Shouldn’t there be a spine in there somewhere?! His neck seems to be made out of rubber or jelly or something. It’s insane! And it’s also f***ing hot, just to clarify. And speaking of Nick being hot (although to be fair he makes breathing look hot so that doesn’t narrow it down much), when he leaned forward to wait for Newton to reappear, he gripped his upper left arm with his right hand and why is that so hot? I didn’t even mind that he’s still swearing, I was so distracted by the hand and the arm and the general hotness of it all. I do so want that bite back though. Doing it just the once the other week, whilst brilliant, was such a tease…! Still, maybe it’s for the best that he didn’t because if he had I really don’t think I’d have made it through to the end of Rebel. As it was, the song ended with me clutching my chest and trying not to hyperventilate while My Friend and I giggled quietly, but slightly deliriously at each other…

Rebel is always one of the hottest parts of the show, but it was extra everything today. I watched Steve wink at us and kept my gaze on him until after The Knee, which I’ve apparently missed even more than I thought I had. It was a struggle not to let Lucas distract me when he popped up early again, but I’m glad I kept my attention on Steve that bit longer. I’ve missed seeing him do that. I half clocked it when Lucas got the band boys to rock their heads side to side with him and there seemed to be quite a defined moment when he started it off, but I didn’t look over properly until The Knee was suitably wiggled. Other than winking and Knee wiggling, however, it was all about Mr Kent again. I love the ever so slightly sarcastic ‘yes, well done, aren’t you clever’ expression Nick pulls when Steve digs his plectrum out of his pocket at the start and grins over at the band in triumph. And then there’s his choreography, which is magnificent! I think I alluded to it on a previous occasion when I first clocked it, but I’ve been watching it a lot recently and keep forgetting to mention it. I had a really clear view of it today though, so now seems an appropriate time to discuss it. Not that I can really explain it, it’s just a lot of stomping his left foot, but he moves his stomping foot sideways (further out to the left, so it’s almost like a side step) on each beat and then kinda shifts the angle of his leg, especially at the end, so the last stomp turns his whole body 90 degrees. He repeats it a good few times too, so it really does look like a choreographed dance move, albeit a fairly simple one, and I love it so much. And then there were the faces… Oh holy f*** the faces… Especially at the very end of the number. I wish I could capture them in words. He just looked so RARGH! It’s no wonder I was a molten mess by the end of it, just writing it up is getting me all flustered… *fans face*. In fact, I couldn’t fully appreciate Lucas in Last Night On Earth because I was still recovering. I could really have done with that old interval today; I still wasn’t ok by Lobotomy. Although thinking that through, the stretching may well have finished me off, so perhaps an interval wouldn’t have been that helpful after all…!

I don’t think it helped that even though Steve is still asking both Nick and Tommaso for the weed at the start of Too Much, Nick has brought back his irritable response and told Steve to f*** off again. He’s really frickin’ hot when he does that. On the plus, Nick’s toned down behaviour when he’s in the spotlight, not to mention the unexpected mix of cast members did help to at least temporarily calm me down and I loved seeing yet another new take on the song. I’m not really sure if I was expecting Lawrence to pop up or not, the whole thing was very confusing what with Cellen still being on and all, but then Lawrence as Theo is hardly a novelty! Karina as Heather’s friend though? That one was new and really rather exciting. I’ve lost track of who’s been on and off in various combinations, but I guess there’s never been an occasion when Jemma couldn’t do her usual track and Karina has actually been available to cover it, because I’m sure I’ve not seen her do that before. Naturally, I loved her vocals, because she always impresses me, but I equally loved the way she played the scene. At one point she grabbed hold of Steve and Lawrence’s heads and pretended to bang them together, it was brilliant! Then on the flip side, she was adorable when she was cooing over Vinnie. Karina still had the baby in her arms at the ‘f*** you’ point, so Emma went over to retrieve him. Meanwhile Steve just kept incessantly tapping Emma’s arm trying to get her attention, in the most childish way, it was so perfectly in character, I loved it! Then when she tried to leave and he blocked her, rather than holding his arms across it and shaking his head forlornly, he just hovered in front of it pouting and looking all sulky, it was so cute!

Soooo I’m not actually sure when this happened and whether I should have noticed this before now, but it would seem that the fairy lights have actually been removed from the Ex Girl wings… I don’t even remember the last time I saw them on, but I’ve definitely seen the wires get caught recently, so I’m sure I can’t have been that oblivious for that long, but still! I assume there was a good reason for the change, but I won’t pretend I’m not a little sad about it. Those lights were so pretty. And speaking of pretty… (such a smooth segue, right?) The way Steve plays his guitar in Ex Girl is pure filth at the best of times, especially when he’s only playing one handed and just lets his left hand fall, but today he caught us watching him (again) and not only did he look straight back at us, he did it while tipping his head back in euphoric pose…! It was ridiculously hot. Also on the subject of pure filth… That lick Nick does in Enemy… It’s always provocative as f***, but it seemed particularly epic today. And I have nothing even remotely appropriate to say about it, so moving swiftly on…

I’m not sure when this was, possibly Enemy, possibly earlier, but I was watching Nick (I know, it surprised me too, I never do that…) and appreciating that while I’d love to see him in a band again (I’m on a massive TAT kick at the moment, I can’t get enough of them) this isn’t actually too far off that. Admittedly I’d love to see what he’s like when he has full freedom to rock out as much as he likes, rather than having to tone it down whenever he’s in the spotlight, not to mention when he’s hidden behind the fence. A microphone certainly wouldn’t go amiss either, even if it’s just for backing vocals, but I can’t complain too much, what with all the headbanging and licking and guyliner and whatnot. Only as soon as that realisation settled in my head it was immediately followed by a moment of ‘this will end’ and ‘what if I never get to see him play like this again?’… I had to shove my head firmly back in the sand after that :/. On a more cheerful note, Nick stands in the most beautiful vengeful superhero pose at the end of Enemy and I watched him right up until the light when down, after which I very much enjoyed Lucas being all mean and sexy in his red spotlight.

I still can’t take Guns seriously, which I’d probably feel bad about if I didn’t find it so funny doing the ‘did you’s with My Friend. Lucas was then unusually reserved during Newton’s rendition of the letter and spent most of it crouching on the floor watching Amelia. Not only did that leave us with a marvellous view of Nick, it also apparently left Nick free to pull faces instead! It was insanely hot. Lucas came on in Letterbomb trying to teach Newton a dance (involving shuffling his feet and turning his knees in and out) when he fell over, which made me giggle, then when Amelia said screw you (instead of screaming) Lucas repeated it a bunch of times, mimicking the girls leaning over Newton and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself! I’m not sure if he was getting more of a kick out of telling Newton off or playing copycat, but either way it was cute and funny. And then there was Nick… The faces! Again, I can’t even begin to explain it, but combined with the hand speed, it was really quite overwhelming. He was just so perfectly RARGH.

A couple of random notes; Amelia has a new top, which I noticed the other day but forgot to mention. It’s ripped in a completely different way to the old one and the cuts are far too fresh still. Today, I also spotted that she has new leggings (the black pair at least) and the holes are teenie! I’m glad I made my karaoke costume before this else I’d have been tempted to copy this new version for simplicity’s sake. It took me bloody ages to shred my leggings so thoroughly. Anyway, I found myself watching Rob on the screen through a fair bit of September, especially at the start. Not that I was watching screens yesterday, but I suspect the sudden interest in the MD may have been at least a partial hangover from seeing Tom yesterday :P. I was intrigued though, because while Newton was talking, Rob was doing a talky hand movement into the camera (I think I’d spotted Mark Crossland do that in the past), only I sorta thought he’d stop when Newton started singing. However he continued doing it right through the early part of the song and didn’t stop until the rest of the band came in, at which point he conducted a bit and I returned my full attention to the boys on stage. I wonder if it was just a way of keeping time?

So Nick was doing some stomping in Death, which was very distracting even though I wasn’t watching him at all. I just kept catching the movement of his foot out of the corner of my eye. Despite that, I was still practically falling over the edge of the balcony leaning in to look at Lucas. It was actually quite a weird sensation, I just felt this need to be closer to him and somehow that manifested itself into me leaning forward almost involuntarily, even though I had a perfectly good view without doing so. He really is magnificent in that scene. I’ve also decided that I like watching the actual death bit from up in the slips too. It’s sorta fascinating watching him get swallowed by the bed! Anyway, as I mentioned, Cellen seemed to be on vocal rest of something, so he did the East 12th Street choreography as usual, but left all the singing to Llandyll. I guess that left him free to pull whatever faces he wanted and he spent most of the number with a big sycophantic grin on his face that amused me rather a lot. There was also some noisy woman in the audience (we were in no doubt as to who she was when she popped up at stage door) and I think she may have chattered the whole way through the show, because we could both hear something irritating, but halfway through the Boulevard bit of Whatsername she laughed really loudly. I know we laugh at inappropriate moments, but really?! Newton just about held it together but Cellen’s face was a picture! I was irritated enough at the woman not to find it that funny at first, but watching Cellen silently creasing was too much for us and we both got the giggles too! She wasn’t even laughing at the boys on the sofa since they hadn’t appeared yet. Not that they were being especially funny today. They were back to playing all the instruments that can be mimed using a stick and/or cushion, but it’s been a while since they did that, so it was still fun to watch them.

To backtrack a second, this isn’t really anything of note because it happens at every show, but to be honest I still don’t think I’d quite recovered from Rebel and Nick really did seem extra sexy tonight and I’m sure that’s only partly because of all the TAT stuff I’ve been watching lately… Anyway, Rock ‘n’ Roll Girlfriend… That HAND. F***. I mean I only really watched him while Steve was climbing down because I didn’t want to miss angry/angsty Steve tugging on his tshirt, but still… F***. Anyway… There weren’t a lot of ‘come on’ arms at the start of Good Riddance today, but Nick seemed a lot more RARGH generally than he has in a while so it was forgivable this time :P. He also had one fine, yet delectable looking, strand of hair hanging over his forehead that My Friend pointed out towards the end. Other than that Steve did his usual throwing his head back thing at Lucas but for some reason Lucas didn’t do it back, so Steve turned away looking all abashed, it was so cute! At least I didn’t let him down and we did the guitar thing together again. Yay! Tommaso also grinned at us a lot and I’m not sure if that’s because we stood up for curtain call, so he spotted our Danny shirts or if he was just smiling generally, because he did seem to be looking back at us a lot this evening! I think Nick also caught sight of them fairly early and half laughed, but at the very end he looked straight at us with a sexy as sin smirk, then pointed at us before he left! It was awesome! He never acknowledges us from the stage! I think the Danny shirts were a success :P. Also, a final random note before I get to SD; the band looked like backing singers in one bit, what with their matching movements & the fact they were singing along, but I’m not quite sure when it was. It wasn’t new, I’d just not really seen it that way before.

So Tommaso got attacked by the crazy drunk woman when he left so we got hugs but didn’t get to speak to him much. He left with a lipstick mark on his face, bless him! We only briefly chatted to Alex too, who’s suffering for his art, but is otherwise doing ok! Karina had to run for her train, but we had time to assure her that she was amazing in Too Much Too Soon, no matter how difficult she complained the vocals were!

We got hugs from Steve when he came over & he was soon joined by Amelia, so we chatted about spotting her in her cubby. I think she said that she doesn’t always stay in there, so I guess that explains why we’ve never seen her before. We also talked to Steve about our Danny shirts and apparently he has one and so does Newton. My Friend then told him we’ll get his face next, for his next show… I didn’t say anything aloud, but… Will we?! We never discussed that! I thought we were on badges! Anyway, they had their scooters with them & he was telling us that his is new and ‘betterer’ apparently. Bless! We also discovered that Racky told Steve to put more guyliner on after our conversation. He said he’d had a note about wearing too much, but not from her, so…!

We chatted to Phil for a bit and he told us he’d always had that little cameo (we spotted him doing some scene shifting with the bed), but apparently we’ve just never seen it before. Maybe the fence is usually further over or something? Anyway, he was telling us about a woman the other day who couldn’t take her eyes off of Alexis (but really, who can blame her?!) and he was joking that he’d been tempted to come out with some loo roll to wipe away the drool. We claimed that we’d never behave like that… :P.

As for, Nick he looked like he was leaving, but assured us he wasn’t and came over to us after he’d finished being attacked by the drunk woman and her family. He commented on the shirts and I think he even said he should’ve worn his, only he didn’t know it was Danny day. We pointed out we tweeted him two days ago, but apparently he doesn’t check Twitter much (I’d gathered as much) and he needs more notice. My Friend pointed out Dave said he takes six months to reply to anything, which he justified by claiming he’s got things to do (excuses, excuses!). My Friend added we hear all sorts of stories from Dave, so he said he doesn’t tell him anything any more… He’s no fun sometimes :P. He also told us that he’d been the only one around, hence why he’d been Danny’s model and we discussed his tshirt face, at which point he pulled an even cuter version of the face, with his shoulders all hunched up. For the record, this is how his modelling job turned out…

(Stolen from someone’s insta – probably Nick’s, Dave’s or Danny’s)

And speaking of photos, he wanted to get one!!! Obviously we wanted one too (of the three of us), but he got one on his phone as well! Rob kindly took them for us. I also finally asked about the TAT EP, so he explained it was only available online for pledge people & he doesn’t even know where the tracks are now. He added that he wrote Primrose so took it back for his own EP and transformed it into something very different, but I did say that if he ever finds the old stuff, he should feel free to send it across. I’d love to hear the TAT version of Primrose! Anyway, he wandered around a lot while we were talking to him, which was rather odd, but at least he didn’t wander off. Then when he finally did go to leave, we made him come back for hugs. I said he didn’t think he was getting away without one did he, to which My Friend added that it’s the only reason we come! He has been awesome recently though, and whilst that may have been a slight exaggeration, in different circumstances (with less Idiots) it would be totally plausible! I love him! And he looked beautiful. Who else can make a mustard coloured tshirt look fit?! Finally, as he was walking away, I told him it was his turn next & My Friend clarified that it was his turn to have his face on a tshirt. I assume he didn’t take us seriously, but he didn’t seem scared, so that’s a good sign :P. I, on the other hand, am f*** terrified of our mental plan to wear our Nick shirts in front of him, but I do think he’ll (secretly) love it, even if he’s a tad freaked out. We did end up missing a bunch of people because we were busy talking to him, but hey, needs must!

We didn’t miss Alexis however, as that would have been something of a travesty, especially as he was looking beautiful in a dark blue denim shirt, plus he still had a hint of guyliner on too… Fit. He didn’t hang around long as he was knackered (obviously) and was talking about the long days on Sundays when needing to be fresh on Mondays for auditions. Naturally we made him promise to tell us if he gets anything & of course we got our hugs before he left.

We had a nice chat with Llan, who thought he might get shirts with his own face on, which prompted a conversation about his mum’s shirts. He was talking about how she comes all the way down to London, then only sees his show – which seemed perfectly reasonable to us! We told him we thought she was awesome. We also talked about other shows we like and I explained that most stuff I’ve loved has closed, but I still see new stuff, such as Titanic this week and the new Superstar. He said he’d love to do that show and I mentioned how much I loved the music & added that this production is very glittery. We naturally ended up talking about Idiot too. I was speaking to someone else about it the other day and they thought the production would die with the end of the run, but Llan seemed sure it would have life after this. After all, they’ve got the rights now, so maybe there’s hope it’ll go out on tour again in a few years. Even with a completely different cast, it’s still a comforting thought. He also told us he’s hurt his back, so I hope he’s ok :/.

We saw Newton, so had to ask if he liked our shirts. He said he wore his for warmup so I told him he needs a photo, but he assured us that it’s already happened; Nick took it! Racky was around too and was telling everyone who would listen how many times My Friend and I have seen the show (she’s in the mid 80s now, I think). She also showed off her Idiot Nation bracelet we made her and the fact I have one of her wedding ones! I felt a little like a celebrity :P. Although she then started asking me who I preferred in some of the roles (original cast vs new), so that was awkward! I love everyone, how am I meant to pick favourites?!

As for Lucas, I got a couple of hugs and we chatted a bit, but mostly I just hovered while he talked to a designer who knew Racky. I didn’t feel I had much to contribute, but it was an interesting coversation to be semi-involved in. They were talking about shows and what counts as West End. Lucas also mentioned that he’d talked about wanting to do an American Idiot musical before it was turned into one. He even said he’d pictured St Jimmy with a mohawk and such! Clearly it was fate! I mean, have I mentioned how f***ing brilliant his St Jimmy is…?!

Peace, love & rock ‘n’ roll,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 6/7/17]

You Know You Want It [AI:108 L:11]

American Idiot: 108, London: 11 (Stalls BB10)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

So as promised, I made up for neglecting Lucas this afternoon by spending much of tonight watching him & Alexis. Well, except for the special Nick bits… Why does that lick have to be so awkwardly timed?! Anyway, I confirmed my earlier suspicions and there was definitely no Josh in Suburbia. I had noticed Lucas seemed to have a brace on his ankle in Idiot, so I hoped that he was just resting a minor injury, but I did have a severe moment of panic that they’d had a reshuffle and decided to replace Josh with Lawrence going forward. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Lawrence, but I’d be heartbroken if I had to give up Lucas’s dancing in Suburbia! Fortunately for once I actually remembered to ask my question at stage door and Lucas confirmed it was on account of his ankle (I’ll go into more detail later). Anyway, this is another short one and I’m still not sure if that’s down to my rubbish noting skills or if I’m actually finally running out of things to say, but there you have it…

Alexis was doing press ups (instead of sit ups in Suburbia) and had his twiglets open in front of him, so on every down he was picking them up with his mouth; it was kinda cool! Then Llandyll caught me with his ‘whiskey’ again when he flicked his hipflask in Holiday, but it was nowhere near as bad as last time! And speaking of previous shows (it’s a weak segue, I apologise), My Friend realised back on my birthday that Ross’s line just before the Steve/Nick ‘begging for it’ sequence is ‘you know you want it’… Could it be any more awesome?! (If you didn’t read that in a Chandler Bing voice, we can no longer be friends). I kinda clocked what she meant last weekend, but what with covers and angles and such, I didn’t fully appreciate it until this evening and Steve definitely seemed to want it tonight! I don’t even know what’s better, the way Nick comes at Steve with his bass in the most ridiculously provocative manner or the way Steve encourages him…! It really is quite spectacular. Anyway, on a somewhat less f***-me-now note…! When we were chatting to Tommaso last night he told us his new favourite thing in the show is watching people react to the confetti cannons (I mentioned watching a couple of girls last year reacting with audible gasps to Alexis (in his pants) dropping to his knees right in front of them, but refrained from adding how many times My Friend and I have responded audibly to Nick doing pretty much anything hot… like fluffling himself… There were definitely some whimpers this afternoon!) and I saw him look up to watch the crowd, so I pretended to gasp in response, but I’m not sure if he noticed :P.

Lucas cracked me up when he responded to the ensemble’s chorus of ‘St Jimmy’ with an adorably excitable ‘that’s me!’ and I promise I did watch him for most of the song, but then Steve sat cross legged on the floor after he followed the fence over and I couldn’t not watch that! He was right in front of Nick and Tommaso, who both leaned over him in an almost aggressive manner, it was magnificent! Lucas then did something a bit different for the badges line, but none of us could quite remember exactly what he did after, just that it was brilliant! It was along the lines of waking himself up with a slightly blood-curdling scream, then pausing before delivering his usual line in a really chilled out and rather camp way, the polar opposite of how he woke himself up. It was damn funny. I love him. Did you know?

At the start of Novacaine I started watching Alexis when he sat at the front with his guitar and then just didn’t really stop. He’s not exactly doing much, just strumming the strings and brooding, but he looks hot and I’m scared he’s going to his cut hair soon and spoil the sexiness, so I thought I should take advantage of the extra fluff/stubble combo while I can :P. He must have seen me watching him, but I decided I didn’t care – he’s on stage, why shouldn’t I watch him?! Although on that note, there were actually a few times during the evening when I wondered if he’d glanced at us to check if we were watching him. I could well be wrong, but I do wonder. Especially as he probably knows better than most how often My Friend and I watch things we’re not ‘meant’ to… *cough*Nick*cough*. Speaking of which… Nick ruffled his hair again just before he looked down in response to ‘the band’ll suck’ bit, so that was fun… ;). Admittedly his hair didn’t seem as fluid this evening as it did earlier, but it was still hot. And we touched it! I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.. Fluff fluff fluff fluff fluuuuuuffffffffffff! 😀 😀 :D! I mean did you read that? You realise I touched the fluff, right? Because I did, you know. Touched it, that is. I did. Squee! Anyway… (I’m not even sorry)! He’s still swearing at Newton, but this evening he teamed it with a faux-shocked expression, which was really quite hot. And then Lucas came out early for Rebel again and I think they did this earlier (I just forgot to note it down), but I don’t think it was quite as slick as it was this evening. Tonight they were ON it. The three of them (with Lucas in front), rocked their heads from side to side in unison with sickly sweet, placid smiles on their faces… only to suddenly rock the f*** out when the beat changed and it was awesome. I love watching the three of them together anyway, but the contrast between the two styles just made it even more epic. Love ’em!

A few random bits; the headphones fell off the sofa in Too Much, but the wire was still caught under Cellen so they just dangled from the upper level until he finally descended to get the weed. I find stuff like that intensely distracting and usually can’t ignore it until someone fixes it, only I managed to miss them actually fixing it. I’m told it was a very slick recovery, but I haven’t got a clue what they did. I was probably watching Nick… :P. I’m still loving the way Cellen reacts to the weed falling though; he whines like a little kid, it’s adorably funny. And speaking of funny, Lucas properly cracked us up in Letterbomb. He was his usual self, mimicking Whatsername’s friend etc. but when Amelia screamed, Lucas told her ‘you really scared me’ in such an earnest manner, it was brilliant! (All together now…) I love him! When Lucas wasn’t on stage, however, I was watching Nick’s face and it really is sexy as f***. How have I never noticed that before?! Was I really that wrapped up watching his hands?! I mean, that’s perfectly plausible, you all know how I feel about HANDS, but still. I’ve been missing out, man!

Steve’s crumpled paper ball fell out of hid sleeve before he had a chance to throw it at Newton in Home Again so he just sat there looking down at it with both arms extended towards it the way he’s done in the past whenever anything’s dropped. There’s something adorably sulky about it, but it’s also inherently lazy, like he’s saying ‘oh no, the thing has fallen, whatever shall I do?’ in a sarcastic, hoping someone will pick it up for him sort of way. I can imagine he would be exactly the same if he dropped something off the sofa onto the floor, even if it only took a slight stretch to reach it. Which is a shame really, since we like our boys stretching :P. Anyway, obviously he had nothing to throw, but by pure coincidence, Newton just happened to look up and catch sight of him at the correct moment. What are the odds?! Anyway, Llan drew a thumbs up in the loop of the remember R, or at least I think that’s what he was drawing… It did quite strongly resemble a different part of the male anatomy too…?! I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt this time though :P. As for our boys on the sofa; Alexis lay his head in Steve’s lap for a while, so Steve just sat there stroking his head (jealous? Who’s jealous? I’m not jealous… *sulk*), but then moved to sit on Steve’s lap, folding his arms behind his back, so Steve could poke his arms through and pretend to be Alexis’s hands. It started off innocent enough with a bit of finger clicking from side to side. Then Steve picked Alexis’s nose & made him eat it, which was just delightful and then… Then, Steve started jerking him off and as soon as Alexis realised he added some appropriate (or inappropriate, depending on your viewpoint) faces to the mix. And if all that wasn’t hilariously funny enough, ‘afterwards’ Steve then rubbed his hand across Alexis’s face…! My friends and I were all but crying with laughter, it was brilliant! Some days those two really do excel themselves.

At the start of Good Riddance Nick was fluffling his hair, which naturally made us grin, only we think he caught our reaction… Oops! Although I’m sure that’s not exactly unusual. I wonder if he’s ever caught any of our more excitable reactions… :P. On which note, there was one point in the evening when Tommaso kept stretching and it was making me giggle. I’m fairly sure he noticed me watching him too, which made me wonder if he makes a thing of doing it when he knows he’s got an audience. Especially since the more I watched him, the more he seemed to do it! On the flip side, Nick hardly ever stretches any more (it’s really quite heartbreaking, I miss it so very much), only with him it’s more a matter of wondering if he doesn’t do it because he knows we want him to :P. He’s a bit of a tease when he wants to be. Anyway, I ended up watching Tommaso for quite an extended period after that. I do like an obliging boy :P. So, back to Good Riddance and Nick did a one armed ‘come on’ followed by a half hearted crocodile impression, so it was an improvement on this afternoon, but it could have been better. Other than that I got a few smiles from various people and Steve, once again – the little gem, did the guitar thing with me. Woohoo!

So stage door went well. We missed a few people, but had lovely chats with the faves. Luke was in the cafe so went over to chat to him and I told him about my Grandpa seeing Footloose in Brighton. He said the audiences were pretty mixed there. We also told him all about singing I Need A Hero last night with all the moves! Tommaso joined us too, so we showed him the video of our reaction to his arrival! He didn’t hang around long, but I gave him a hug before he left. When Alex materialised we chatted to him about his gig stuff and he told us he wasn’t playing tonight but will be next week. He also talked about the motorbike taxi he used to get to his Mercury gig on Wednesday and how much he loved it. Unsurprisingly he wants a bike now, but as he’s looking into getting a studio he can’t even afford a Vespa. On which note, I think Tommaso got one of those recently; they’re so Italian!

Nick came over so I gave him a hug and we chatted about… something? It may have been then when he commented on the sky, which was a gorgeous shade of blue with a white plane track thing across it. I said it was like the photo he pretended Dave took in W&T (Ep 11). [Edit: In the process of tracking down the episode number to reference here, I stumbled across Nick’s blog, which I only ever dipped into in the past (I should fix that). I read the post for that picture, all about happiness, and it made me feel all soppy and smiley, so in the hope that it does the same for you, I’m posting a link to it here]. He mused aloud that it was two years ago, so I said it was time to bring it back. To which he pointed out how much work goes into it, so I’m reluctantly taking that as a no. My Friend added that we went back further and watched the TAT thing he was talking about the other week (the tour diaries). He asked if we meant W&T, so we assured him that nope, we watched the originals. We mentioned the rollercoaster footage and he told us it was Warped Tour day at Six Flags so he got to queue jump. He explained that he’d done that coaster twice in a row, filming himself, then filming in front. He also talked about his old-school hand-held flip camera that only held about 30 minutes of video. I responded with ‘bless’ and he parroted me, which was rather cute. He then got distracted talking about studios with Alex, but he seemed to like us again today. Yay! [Edit: I don’t know when he didn’t like us…? But that’s a verbatim note, so I obviously felt that way at the time. Perhaps I was unsatisfied with the lesser amount of time and/or attention at a recent stage door? It was certainly not a complaint I could have made on this day!].

When Steve came over, I gave him a hug and we chatted a little about future projects and potential costume opportunities. He wasn’t sure about details, but admitted he may have to start going to the gym and stop eating Five Guys! We then talked about him dropping the paper and how we thought his reaction was very Will, but also very Steve. I’m sure you’ll also be interested to know that he was still wearing a vest and at one point, a nipple popped out, to which he said ‘Good morning’… And then showed us his other nipple! He told us he’d had it pierced once, but they did it wrong so he’d taken it out. He said he wanted it redone though and possibly also wants a nose thing. My Friend said he should get one under his lower lip (can’t think where she got that idea…?!), but he said no as it would affect his singing. She pointed out Nick used to have one (speaking of whom, he was still around then, but talking to others. He waved bye when he left), but funnily enough Steve didn’t seem impressed with that suggestion once it clicked where the inspiration came from! He then gave us a joint hug when he left.

Alexis came round to talk to us, so I gave him a hug and said ‘hello, gorgeous’, which seems to be a thing now. We didn’t chat for long, but My Friend mentioned Whatsername and how the guy next to us couldn’t work out why we were laughing. He told us he doesn’t think anyone else ever watches them in that bit :P. After a moment Llan came and joined us and teased Alexis about his blazer being velvet; Alexis informed him it was moleskin and pointed out it was too cool for tshirts, but too warm for a proper jacket. Although we were all in tshirts, so… :P. It was very sexy though and the colour really brought out the blue in his eyes. I nearly said that out loud, but didn’t get a chance (although since I’m recording it here, he’ll probably see it anyway… :P).

Lucas took ages to get to us, but then seemed happy to chat. I asked about Josh and he told us he’d hurt his ankle (I admitted I’d noticed the brace). He assured us he’s fine, but Lawrence offered to cover him so he accepted. He added that he’d enjoyed the break, so we told him he still has to do it (when he’s better), at least for us! We then chatted about all sorts of bits and pieces from the FOH work he has on, to the audiences at Idiot being a bit up and down, but that we’re loud and stand up for GR all the time now, to his show watch yesterday & the click track issues Tommaso told us about. On a related note we chatted about Scary Sexy Jimmy & one of my friends was saying that she wants to see him guilt free (ie. not because Lucas is sick), so maybe if Lucas has another show watch she can. Also a newbie Idiot told Lucas that he was better that BJA and he was delighted, obviously. He was saying he wished he had recordings to play post-Idiot to remind him he was loved, or something like that, so we assured him we had plenty we could send his way! In fact, I nearly mentioned the blog, but didn’t for some reason. I also told him that it’s a secret but I’m making more bears, so I showed him a photo of Jimmybear wearing glasses (that I made for one of the band bears). He looks so cute, it’s making me want to try a Joshbear, but I don’t have any of the fabric I need or any clue how to make the hat, so it’s probably not the wisest idea. Finally, he was telling us how he’d been up at 7 filming a music video for a guy called Micky Diana, in which he got to be a punk rock mental patient, so he said basically himself! Apparently it involved lots of screaming on a table and at one point he forgot what he was meant to be screaming so did life before the lobotomy instead! I can’t wait to see this whenever it gets released, it sounds very exciting!

Peace, love & rock ‘n’ roll,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 13/4/17, which means Lucas’s video is out (& has been for ages… Oops)! Watch it here:]

Suck My Calippo [AI:107 L:10]

​American Idiot: 107, London: 10 (Circle R8)

General disclaimer: There are random spoilers of varying levels in this, which I have made no attempt to flag up. You have been warned.

We didn’t stalk today because even though none of us actually had hangovers from last night’s karaoke shenanigans, we thought a big pub brunch would be a better start to the day than a cupcake! Still, we got there early enough to see a couple of our band boys and Tommaso arrived only a few minutes after us. He stopped to chat for a moment, so we told him about the video we have from last night of My Friend and I reacting to him walking in. It’s really quite entertainingly dramatic (My Friend & I are quite aptly singing about needing a hero when we catch sight of him and point and shriek)! Nick then turned up a few minutes later and I had a bit of a moment… He wasn’t even wearing anything special, just a plain black tshirt (no buttons, not even a V neck), but it’s been a whole week since we last saw him and none of the gifs quite capture what he looks like now… I kinda forgot how beautiful he is in real life! Anyway…! We said hi and he actually came over to join us (there were a lot of us) for a moment. Not that any one had anything to say to him beyond general greetings, but he usually just flies past if we see him before the show, so it was a bit of a novelty to have him stop. He’s clearly missed us :P. Anyway, I wasn’t expecting to see any one else that late, but then Lucas rushed in with a suitcase two minutes before the half hour call, looking very frazzled. He was obviously too busy trying to get backstage to notice anyone in the cafe, but he looked up with a startled laugh when we all chorused hi at him. He’s so cute.

So I know it’s only been a week, but it felt so good to be back! And we got to be royalty again, with people in the stalls waving to us (although it wasn’t as good as last week when we were front row of the dress). It was fairly empty in the circle, so everyone in our slips moved and we had free rein, which meant we could all move up a bit to get a better veiw of Steve. I mostly stayed put because I had an enticingly novel view of Nick and could often see him behind the fence. When he leaned against the wall pre-Jimmy though I moved up so far I was practically in My Friend’s lap! We got the giggles over that. Apparently I’m not very subtle… Who knew?! To begin at the beginning, however; I loved how close we were to Steve at the start of Idiot. It may not have been a great view of his flat, but when he was visible he almost seemed close enough to touch, it was fabulous. I then got so thoroughly distracted by the boys on the upper level that I kinda forgot to look down… When I did fleetingly glance at the stage in City, I belatedly noticed that Lawrence was on in place of Lucas. Since we’d already seen Josh in Idiot, I was mightily confused by that, but fortunately I was too distracted by the fact I could at least half see Nick (plus Llan wasn’t baseball hatted) to worry that something had happened to him in the past few minutes. To be honest, I’m fairly impressed I noticed at all, I really wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to anyone on the ground. In fact, Newton missed his ‘let’s start a war’ line and I gather it was because he was laughing, but other than that I have no idea what happened.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about today, or at least, whatever I did want to say didn’t get noted down and has now been lost forever. I suspect there wasn’t all that much though, simply because it was another Nick show (with a side helping of Steve) and short of putting ‘Nick looked f***ing hot’ against every number, I don’t usually have that much to write about. Although I do feel I’ve probably forgotten some of the finer details I’d have recorded if my memory was better – I mean I have nothing for Favourite Son, St Jimmy, Rebel…?! Although I’m sure Steve winked at us again? Still, it was very exciting being able to see behind the fence, even if the angles weren’t great. I could generally see about 2/3rds of Nick at any given time, depending on the lighting. Admitted I couldn’t see his legs, but I suppose I can live with that :P. Of course, the most anticipated moment was at the start of Novacaine, especially after what Steve said the other week, but it wasn’t quite as exciting as I’d hoped. Not that I believed a word Steve said, but Nick was half in shadow because the light was coming from behind Steve, who got in the way and all Nick did was pull a bit of a face at him.

There was one bit at the beginning of Favourite Son or Jimmy or something like that, when Steve picked up Christina and then looked to the band as if asking permission to join them. Nick and Tommaso responded with encouraging grins and double thumbs up in a really cheesy manner. It was highly entertaining! And speaking of our little trio, at the start of Too Much, Steve asked both Nick and Tommaso for the weed. On the one hand that meant Nick didn’t get irritated with Steve, so he didn’t pull the extra sexy faces or swear at him, but on the other, I love how much a part of the flat the band are and that’s emphasised even more when they’re both included in the scene. Other than that, a definite plus of the new angle was a magnificent view of Nick at the end of When It’s Time… Leaning against the wall, perfectly illuminated by the glow of Lucas’s red spotlight… Ohhh he was beautiful. And then he pulled some of the most magnificent faces in Letterbomb…! There was one moment in particular when his head was angled downwards, but then he looked up suddenly (moving only his eyes) and oh dear heaven…! It was so smoulderingly seductive; the vengeful hero again. Unf!

A few other non-Nick points of note; after yesterday’s karaoke fun and a whole morning of screaming ‘did you, when you, did you’ at each other, it was fairly inevitable that my friends and I would do the same thing during the show. It’s probably a good thing we had the slips to ourselves, because 21 Guns isn’t a particularly appropriate moment for a giggle fit…! On a more serious note, I may not have given Lucas the attention he deserved (every time I felt guilty I reminded myself I may never see Nick from this angle again and promised I’d watch Lucas tonight instead), but Death is and always will be his. I did glance up at Nick a couple of times to check I wasn’t missing anything dramatic, but I wasn’t and Lucas mostly had my full attention. His mood was very meh today, but then as he sang ‘there’s a glow of light’ you could feel the anger bubbling up inside him before it burst out in the next line. I really liked that.

We couldn’t see Alexis in the first half of Whatsername, which was rather annoying as there seemed to be something going on that we were missing (he later told us he’d brought a washing basket on stage or something?!), but finally joined Steve on the sofa and was kind enough to lean right in to Steve’s face, so we could see him. Alexis looked very much as if he was going to kiss him, but just held the pose, then pulled back… Shame really :P. I then got a nice big grin from Lucas in Good Riddance, which would have been even better had I noticed immediately… However, I was contentedly watching Nick, then glanced down to see Lucas grinning up at me… Awkward. I’m sorry, Lukie, I still love you, I promise! It’s just that Nick does the clapping and he’d been throwing in the occasional bit of stomping recently (I’d forgotten he used to do that a lot) and today he even added in an intriguing vertical clap thing with his arms out in front of him (sort of like he was pretending to be a crocodile…) which didn’t quite make up for the lack of ‘come on’ arms, but at least it was amusing :P. I did look down at the stage a bit though and Steve did the guitar thing with me, so yay!

Speaking of Steve, and to conclude before moving to stage door, he seemed to keep looking at us today. I’m sure he frequently catches us watching him, but it always seems especially evident when we’re on the level with him. Although perhaps that’s just because I watch him more, so I notice it more? Either way, there were long periods when we were staring at him and he just stared right back! It was rather funny. There was also an epic moment fairly on, which then got repeated multiple times and damn near killed My Friend and I. Ya see, Nick must be running out of hairspray or something (or he just didn’t put enough product in it) because his hair kinda collapsed. I’m sure that was not the look he was going for but holy f*** I need him to go for that in future. Because not only did it look hot as hell (he had a seriously sexy, fluffed up bedhead thing going on), it also meant he kept running his fingers through it and oh G-d that was unspeakably enticing. I’ve wanted to ruffle his hair for a long time, but after that…? I need to touch his hair. Somehow. F***.

So, we chatted to Tommaso while he waited for Nick, but when Nick took too long, Tommaso went in to retrieve him. He looked very pretty in that black t-shirt when he finally materialised, but just said hi before they disappeared off together. Then Steve appeared, looking delicious in a vest, and noticed that My Friend was wearing her Rebel t-shirt so he showed off his credit card again. I still think that’s awesome! As for Alexis, he was looking very dapper in a blue suede blazer. My note after that is simply ‘Hot.’, so I can’t be sure if I meant that he was feeling hot in his jacket or looking hot, but both seems fairly plausible. He certainly did look hot, but he also added that he felt hot with his hair how it was and was going to shave. I informed him he looks gorgeous and no to the shaving!

I then managed to miss the band coming back, but my friends dutifully provided me with all the details of what I’d missed out on, such as the fact that Nick had a calippo. There was some question over his choice of lolly not being a magnum, but he said it was ‘more refreshing’. Tommaso told them they needed a new hashtag, so one of my friends suggested #morerefreshing… Which was not what he was thinking of…! My Friend questioned further & suggested #suckmycalippo?! [Given our usual set of hashtags, I’d have assumed he was going for #lickmycalippo, but sucking works equally well… :P]. Anyway, I was absolutely gutted I missed it, but it transpired that Nick hadn’t actually gone inside and we were contentedly talking about him sucking his calippo when he came back… sucking it. My Friend suggested we just watch him walk down the street, so we made something of a performance of it; I put my head on her shoulder and we both just stared adoringly at him as he walked down the street towards us. Unsurprisingly he saw us watching and looked straight back at us, which made us laugh, so he pulled a face & asked what we were laughing at. My Friend mentioned our new hashtag and rather than running away as I’d half expected him to, he just hung around chatting to us WHILE SUCKING HIS LOLLY! I think he was trying to kill us…! Anyway, My Friend mentioned my card & complained he couldn’t even sign it, to which he argued that no one put it in front of him… Which is a weak excuse at best, given she told me she’d specifically asked the band boys to sign it, but I couldn’t really hold a grudge when he was stood there being all insanely sexy. And speaking of sexy, we also talked about his guyliner & My Friend said that he looked how she did at the end of last night. He objected that there was an insult in there somewhere, but My Friend assured him that we never insult him! I forget if it was in response to that conversation or unrelated, but at one point he did something with his eyebrows, to which one of my friends said ‘don’t do the eyebrows’… I think she meant it in a ‘don’t do that, you’ll kill us’ sort of way, but really?! Rule number one; never ever tell a sexy man to stop doing something sexy, even in jest. What if he listens?! I therefore followed her comment with an emphatic (and unintentionally bold) ‘no, please do!’. So I guess I was on a roll after that because I then asked if I could touch his hair… Just straight out asked. He looked at me funny, so I explained it looked really fluffy and he didn’t really say ok, but he didn’t say no either so we did it anyway and he didn’t seem to mind. (See, Steve – you just have to ask :P). It prompted him to start talking about his recent cut & how they’d sorted out the sides, but not taken enough off the length, plus I think he added something about not using enough product today. We told him unequivocally not to change it! As for the fluffling itself, it was so awesome!!! Despite me being the one one to ask, my friends both got in there first, so I waited until they’d stopped touching it before I did my own petting – I wanted enough space to get a good feel :P. And in case you were wondering (or even if your weren’t, I’m putting all the detail here for posterity), it felt kinda warm (whether from the sun or his body heat, I’m not sure, but I’m going to assume it was all him, purely for my personal enjoyment) and even softer and fluffier than I thought it would be… I wish I could have just sat and played with it for hours! Although I can’t quite believe that I got to fluffle him at all… It was soooooo good! Unf!!! I really don’t know why he puts up with us sometimes, but I f***ing love him for it! Fluff fluff FLUFF!

Emma joined us at some point and we were talking about last night’s karaoke and our costumes, so someone showed her a photo of us with Tommaso. She commented on his being there & it made me feel kinda bad for not inviting her, even though I had no way of inviting them all and none of them would have come anyway…! I do feel really bad for not inviting Nick though, since I did invite Tommaso (& Alex, although he didn’t come). Not that I really could have asked him without saying something in person, which would have just been weird (and obviously he’d never have come anyway), but still. I guess there’s always next year :P. Anyway, I think Emma was talking about My Friend’s Rebel shirt, but I’m not sure if I’m making that up or even who else was there at that point. What I do remember is that Nick pulled a face, which I missed because I was looking the other way and it apparently resembled the face he pulled in Liverpool that I also missed… Argh!!! And then of course he wouldn’t do it again. Hmph. Someone commented that I’d written about how disappointed I was about not having seen it in the blog, which he seemed rather surprised by!

Other than that, we had a nice chat with Phil, which was lovely as we’ve not seen him properly in a while. He explained why they’d stopped using popcorn in Suburbia; it’s too slippery on the coated MDF of the stage, so they have rainbow drops instead because they just turn to powder when they get stepped on, so it’s safer. He was also rather pleased he doesn’t have to sift popcorn out of the leaves any more either! We also chatted about the bed incident yesterday (that Tommaso told us about at karaoke). We saw Lucas too but he didn’t really stop properly, just paused for hellos. He was around for a little while before that though as he was chatting to someone else and at one point he said ‘what’s that’ in his usual manner, which we all apparently found funny because we spontaneously echoed him… It was rather amusing!

Peace, love & lollies,

K xx

[Actual publish date: 11/4/17]