The Last Carnival – July Tour, Nottingham

So despite the fact that my friend’s newly cut keys meant that I didn’t need to be up early, I didn’t actually sleep all that well, waking up every few hours for no apparent reason. Still, I was technically in bed for a good ten hours and I definitely felt better for it. Hopefully it will be enough to keep me going for the next couple of nights. It also helped, at least in terms of relaxation, that having properly woken up I still ended up spending a good hour longer lazing around daydreaming before actually getting up. Of course it then meant I was running late for my train, plus having legged it across Manchester to Oxford Road, my train’s next stop was Piccadilly which would have been far more convenient had I known at the time. Still, I made it in the nick of time and off to Nottingham I went.

Club:

When I arrived, Lacey were outside so I said a general hi, before heading in to VIP. Tia took us upstairs, so I got to say hi to her, and when we walked in, the band were all chilling in a sofa-ed area in the corner and didn’t actually bother to move at first. If there hadn’t been a bunch of other fans behind me I’d probably have just gone and crashed the party, but I dutifully stayed back until they deigned to grace us with their presence a minute or two later :P. Russ reached me first and I got a much needed big squeezey hug from him. I then turned to Justin who I hugged but who didn’t actually hug me back. Meh. He did however smell amazing, which I told him without really meaning to, at which point he thanked me and walked off…

After that I decided to head where I might actually be wanted (*sulk, mutter*) and went to talk to Russ and Mike. They were chatting to another fan as well, who at one point showed them a video of her parrot headbanging to No Hero. That prompted Mike to tell me a story about a giant parrot that used to live in a pet shop near him, which sounded pretty awesome. I also asked him for ideas for my VIP photo. He couldn’t think of anything, but obviously wasn’t enamoured with the facing backwards idea, so I gave up on that.

I then went to join Kieran who was holding court entertaining a group of girls and Mike joined us shortly after. Kieran seemed thoroughly bemused by the fact they had discovered the band on tumblr, even though the band don’t actually have a tumblr…! Anyhoo, the boys were discussing tight trousers (Kieran’s in particular, which my attention had already been drawn to in Manchester – against my will, I might add!) and lunging… Yes, really. Kieran’s counter-attack in defence of his tight trousers was that Mike’s were too baggy. Mike pointed out it allowed him to lunge, to which Kieran retorted that his own trousers were stretchy and therefore allowed him to lunge too. Both felt the need to demonstrate and I was caught somewhere between highly entertained and slightly disturbed :P. I don’t know what the other girls thought, having never met either of them before..?! Kieran then progressed to doing impressions of Justin’s signature Can-Can move (standing on one leg, with the other lifted at a right angle(ish) and bent at the knee, with a bit of a kick motion going on), which was even more entertaining than the lunging and became yet more so when Mike joined in too. There was much discussion of balance and how hard it actually was, which prompted both of them to start playing air-guitar whilst remaining on one leg. At which point, Justin himself joined us and did it as well. And perhaps I’m a tad biased, but he does give a slight edge to the move that the other two lack. It’s sharper somehow ;).

The ‘Justin’ Move

The conversation that followed was more of Mike teasing Kieran and it was decided that he needs a move too; specifically, a jazz hand during his one-handed piano solo :P. After that I was chatting to Kieran by myself and asked him what he thought I should do for my last VIP photo. He suggested that we could all do the Justin move, which would have been epic, but I didn’t think for a second that I’d be able to persuade them all to do it.

The acoustic set was fabulous as always, but this time it finally cost me my shoes… There’s A Road made me cry. Whether it was just a reflection of my mood, the beginning of the end of tour blues or simply just the lyrics getting to me (‘I wonder what it’s like up there, where every dream is how it seems’?), I don’t know, but it’s a tad worrying… because now there’s nothing left to stop me falling apart tomorrow. I mean, I suppose it was inevitable really and if it hadn’t happened then, it would have done sooner or later. The shoes were a nice little carrot, but I never truly expected them to work. As you can probably deduce from the fact that Justin’s earlier non-hug bothered me enough to be noteworthy, I wasn’t in a particularly positive mood and even the Mike and Kieran comedy routine didn’t really come close to pulling me out of my funk. It should have been a brilliant VIP session, with far less people than there were at any of the other shows and therefore, theoretically at least, far more time to spend with the boys, but it just wasn’t. I hadn’t even spoken to Adam by the time they began the acoustic set, but he did come over and tapped me on the shoulder during There’s A Road. I gave him a one-armed hug, but I was filming so couldn’t give him a proper one until afterwards. He stood by me for the whole song though, so when it was done he got a massive hug – although that was more out of necessity than anything else. I needed that hug :'(.

In the limbo while the guitars were put away before the photos, I found Kieran and gave him a hug too. Which almost backfired spectacularly when I very nearly ended up crying on his shoulder, but I managed to hold it together – I don’t think he would have been impressed… Anyhoo, in the end I didn’t do anything special for the photo at all. I couldn’t think what to do and Adam called me in for mine halfway through the group, so in the pressure of the moment, I just got a regular photo. I didn’t even think to squidge in next to Justin, so that was a bit of a failure all round. [Edit: they actually lost the Nottingham VIP photos somehow or other, so in the end it didn’t even matter. In fact I’m quite relieved I didn’t bother making a fuss and doing something silly. Of all the photos for them to lose, I think this was the best, especially given I’d been crying (although it would have been nice to have an alternative to London – I’m not overly fond of that one). I’m still gutted that I never got Manchester’s pic though :(]

I spoke to Russ during the group photo and told him that he made me cry during There’s A Road. He agreed it was a very sad song and sort of implied that he almost hadn’t realised how sad it actually was. Then we all headed downstairs and Mike tried to sell me more merch, but somehow or other I managed to resist buying something I didn’t actually want… :P. After the sales pitch, I finally got around to speaking to Justin. He and Kieran were looking at some of the supports’ merch and they asked me about the bands. They mentioned that since they’re always backstage, they don’t actually see them play so I said a few nice things and mentioned that I’d been a fan of Lacey for a while and that they should check them out :). When Kieran drifted off somewhere, I carried on talking to Justin for a moment or two more and we ended up discussing taxis in London for some reason (I think I was saying something about night buses?). He told me that the postcode makes a difference and money can be saved if you know what you’re doing (calling a cab from a street or two over, for example). Apparently Tom taught him that. Anyway, I also told him that I was feeling huggy tonight and apologised for it, but in actual fact it probably didn’t make any difference to him. He just felt a bit off with me tonight, so whilst I ended up hugging anyone else who got too close, I generally kept my distance with him. I really was in a thoroughly rubbish mood and I don’t even know why. All I can hope is that it means I’ll be okay for tomorrow but I don’t see how. The after party dread has already stated in earnest…

Support:

So it didn’t help my mood much that the venue was bloody freezing and I’d also developed a pounding headache. Lost At Home were first up again, but to be honest I have nothing further to say about them. They just don’t do it for me.

The Afterparty opened to Boom! Shake The Room, which was an excellent choice, I felt. They also perked me up a bit, so that was nice :). I had Matt in front of me for a change (when he was setting up his pedal board, he informed me that he would be situating himself there in a sort of ‘hope you don’t mind’ kind of way, it was cute) so that gave me something a little different to look at! Headache aside, once again I really enjoyed their set and it was a good start to pulling me out of my funk.

Lacey gave me something new to look at too and I had Pete in front of me this time, which was rather fun. It’s kinda interesting watching the guitarists that don’t sing, since they have more freedom to move without needing to tether themselves to a mic stand (and I wasn’t even thinking of Justin when I wrote that, believe it or not!). Anyhoo, what The Afterparty began, Lacey finished and by the end of the set I’d been cheered right up :D. Although it possibly helped that Graz had me on water duty again during Contender! It’s the first time all tour I’ve actually been close enough, although I still thought he was joking when he first motioned to me! When I realised he was serious, I dutifully passed him his bottle, which certainly made me grin. It was a fabulous set and nice to see them play with a lot of their own fans in tow.

The Show:

[Edit: I barely wrote down anything about the show itself and what I did write is mostly OTT fangirling that even I won’t publish, so apologies for the brief nature of this section]

So the show was amazing as always and even with my mood as it was I absolutely loved it. There is nothing quite like watching those boys play. Still, my emotional stability wasn’t quite what it could have been and I was genuinely worried about Beautiful. Fortunately, it was ok, (although I don’t know how much of that was because I filmed it, which always distracts me, at least a little) and I didn’t even come close to crying. It really is a heartwrenchingly stunning song though – I still can’t get enough of it. I recorded Setting The World Alight (& the Crazy solo) too, mostly because I just felt like filming tonight, I’m not sure why. The lighting certainly wasn’t conducive to it, with no background lighting at all – meaning that when the fancy lights weren’t on, you couldn’t even see them. I don’t think that helped with the atmosphere much, either. It certainly wasn’t a patch on yesterday, with loads of people chattering away through the set (why do people insist on doing that?! It’s so rude, both to the performer and other fans).

Of course, I was directly in front of Justin again (he must be sick of the sight of me by now…) and there was plenty of his signature move thrown in, often whilst stood on a raised portion of the stage off to my left. Which meant that I seriously considered the possibility that he might kick me in the head… Fortunately Kieran’s new signature move (which is clearly not going to catch on, but it would be SO awesome if it did!) is less dangerous and far more amusing. Mike actually crossed the stage to talk him into doing it and Kieran clearly gave in to the pressure, if only briefly. It was brilliant!

Do it!

I was also relatively entertained when at one one point I was taking photos of Kieran, but Benji was ducked down nearby and evidently thought I was taking photos of him instead. I just pointed at Kieran with a grin, but to be fair to Benji, whilst he may not have been my focus, he was definitely still in shot…!

Crouching Photographer, Ivory Tickling Pianist

Other than that, Justin’s hair was driving me slowly insane… The longest strand of it kept catching at the corner of his lips every time he so much as moved and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I’ve not noticed it before and I have no idea why I suddenly noticed it tonight, but once it caught my attention I couldn’t stop noticing it. It didn’t really help any that it was like a neon arrow pointing at his mouth…

Lights will guide you home

It’s a good thing I still have some vague sense of propriety left or I’d probably have just reached out and brushed it away (not that he actually got close enough, but a girl can dream). I was also bizarrely fixated on his right forearm, which really seemed to be doing it for me this evening, although I haven’t a clue why. I think it had something to do with his shirt sleeve.

Russ, Justin & The Strand Of Torment

Post-show:

So, I’d forgotten how bad Stealth are for rushing the fans out at the end of the gig and I barely even managed to get a full set of selfies before they started kicking people out. The band moved the post-show hangout outside (which was fine for chatting, but I’d never really considered the negative effect of early kick-out on merch sales – it must be a right pain for them) but by then I’d completely forgotten that I wanted to get my setlist signed (I grabbed Justin’s at the end of the set as usual). I remembered a little later, but by that point I didn’t think it was such a good idea as I didn’t dare speak to him beyond saying goodbye (more on that in a moment). [Edit: I still had the setlist with me in Brighton, so I got him to sign it then, hence the fact it is in fact autographed despite what I just said about forgetting.]

The Last Carnival – Nottingham Setlist

Anyhoo, Tia had friends and family in so I gave her more of a hand with packing up the merch than usual (I’m getting rather good :P) to free her up to talk to them and ended up spending a fair amount of time just hanging and chatting to various people inside, before heading back out in search of band members with both Tia and my camera in tow. I added a few more Lacey pics to the collection and then headed for the usual suspect, which didn’t quite work out as I’d hoped… He was chatting to a couple of girls when I found him, so we hovered to wait until he was free. They evidently noticed us, however, and offered him to us for photographic purposes. Given the rare opportunity to have someone else take the picture, I employed my standard ‘grab from behind’ technique and hugged him (incidentally he’s really ripped… those abs!). Tia took the photo for me, but on closer inspection, she deemed it unsuitable and told him off for pulling faces. She flashed the screen at me, but I didn’t really see it, just took her word for it – after all, Justin pulling faces is hardly a stretch of the imagination. Only he apparently decided that one was enough and refused to pose for a second attempt… to the point that he yanked himself out of my arms (the one saving grace of this were the ripples under my fingertips…) and snapped at me that he was talking. Tia thought he was joking around (at least initially), but I was pretty sure he wasn’t and was relatively upset as a result. In fact, I avoided talking to him again after that (until they left) and that was all before I even realised quite how bad the photo actually was. It wasn’t until I was flicking through them later on that I finally saw it properly, at which point I very nearly cried. He wasn’t just pulling a stupid face this time… His eyes are focussed back over his shoulder towards me and his lip is curled up in disdain as if to say ‘get this thing off of me’. I, of course, am blissfully unaware and happily smiling at the camera. It hurt far more than it probably should have, but fortunately I didn’t know about it until well after he’d left, so for the most part I was able to brush the incident aside (although that didn’t extend to me being brave enough to try speaking to him again for the rest of the evening). Tia and I went in search of other, more charitable band members instead and ended up getting a whole bunch of random pics and selfies with various collections of people. I also managed to get a photo with all of The Afterparty boys, so that was fun (and made particularly amusing by Matt trying to hide behind his band mates to block the beer spill on the front of his t-shirt from view).

Finally, on a rather random note, I had a dream last night (or the night before? I forget now) in which I kissed Kieran on the cheek during a selfie and he got mad. I hadn’t really intended to mention it, but it came up in conversation with Adam post-gig (I think we were talking about unexpected people getting angry in dreams), so when I saw Kieran again at the end of teh night (he vanished when they went outside and didn’t reappear until they were about to leave) I told him about it too. In response, he offered up his cheek and sure enough, he did not get mad when I kissed it! Although to be fair I wasn’t photographing it :P. It did belatedly occur to me where the dream might have come from, though. I reckon it’s some sort of transference. I’ve been ruffling his hair all tour and pointedly not ruffling anyone else’s who’d be likely to get annoyed with me over it. So obviously I know I could kiss Kieran in a selfie, no problem, but if I tried to do it to Justin…? Of course, I could be wrong (about the cause of the dream, that is, not their respective reactions), but it’s a fairly plausible theory. Anyhoo, they all headed off at that point so after the usual round of goodbye hugs (during which Justin did in fact give me a proper hug, so I was slightly less upset) we parted ways. And I only felt slightly self-conscious when I saw them pull up at the lights behind me as I was walking down the road…!

So despite my pre-show stroppiness, I generally felt much better by the end of the gig (except when Justin was being a ****) and once again, it was worth the effort. Aside from everything else, the set itself was just as incredible as always and I can’t even express how much I adore watching them on stage. Still. Knowing tomorrow is the last one… I don’t want to say goodbye. It gets harder every time :(.

Peace, loVe loVe and happiness,
K xx

[Actual publish date: 16/9/14 and I’m still upset about that photo. I can see the funny side, ish, but still. Ouch. I can’t quite shake the thought that that’s how he really thinks of me… and I could have done without a photographic reminder]